


Amor en la Villa

by ryleempiatt



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Drama, Drama & Romance, Falling In Love, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hotels, Love, Multi, Spain, Summer Vacation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:47:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 65,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27953357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryleempiatt/pseuds/ryleempiatt
Summary: Six friends embark on a journey of self discovery and adventure. Roben's past catches up with her though, making this journey much harder. She comes face to face with everything she tried to leave behind. Will she make it or break it?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. June 1, 2020

The girls: Hope (25), Lottie (24), Chelsea (24), Marisol, (25), Priya (25), Roben (24).

The boys: Ibrahim (24), Gary (25), Bobby (24), Rocco (24), Noah (25), Carl (25).

********

She looks out the window, getting lost in another day dream. 

"Ro?" She turns to see her best friend, Lottie, looking back at her. 

"Hmm?" 

"I was asking what hotel we were staying at?"

"Oh, La Villa."

"The Villa? Interesting..."

"It's really popular apparently. A ton of fancy amenities and shit." Lottie smiles at her.

"Can't wait to see it then." Priya sits next to Lottie.

"Okay, ladies. Are we ready for girls on tour??" Roben smiles and nods.

"100%. I need this break so damn much. Who else is ready to get wild?" Priya smirks and nods.

"Definitely. Shall we all have a round?"

"Hell yeah." She sits up, looking at the seats behind them. "You girls ready for a bit of pre-game?" Hope smiles at her.

"That's what I'm talking about." Chelsea squeals.

"Yay!!! I'm so freaking excited!!" Marisol chuckles.

"Calm down, Chels. We still have a bit before we land." The girls order all their drinks, clinking them together. "Ladies...it's party time." Chelsea pumps her fist.

"Girls on tour, girls on tour, girls on tour!" The others join in, chanting. With a final cheer they pound their drinks. Roben looks back behind them a few seats, seeing a group of boys looking at them. She nudges Lottie, whispering in her ear.

"Group of hot guys, 12 o'clock." Lottie looks up, smirking.

"Who's your pick?" She looks back at the group of boys, talking to each other. A few of them look back over at them. Another guy sits up, looking at them. He looks over, meeting her eyes. Her heart drops when she sees him. His smile disappears. "Oh shit." She quickly sits down, out of sight. Lottie frowns, sitting next to her.

"Roben? What's wrong?" She chews her lip. 

"Do you remember when I told you about when I lived in Scotland?" 

"Yeah." 

"Well the reason I left is sitting back there."

"Which one?" 

"The one with dreads." She looks over. 

"He's cute." She swats her arm.

"Lozza."

"Sorry, are you okay?" She looks out the window.

"I will be."

"Drink?"

"God, yes. Please."

"I got you, hun." After a few more drinks she forgets about who's sitting at the back of the plane. She follows the girls down the aisle. Feeling someone's eyes on her, she turns to see him looking at her again. She meets his eyes, her chest aching. She feels a hand take hers, looking to see Lottie staring at her. She gives her an encouraging smile. She squeezes her hand, following behind her. The girls hook arms as they walk. 

"So the hotel is right in the center of town. A massive fountain is in front of it, it has a pool, a hot tub, outside lounge areas, a gym, a spa, communal lounge areas, a bar, a restaurant. Nearby there are clubs and stuff we can go to for our girls nights out. Priya and Chelsea, you're roomies." Priya and Chelsea high five. "Hope and Marisol, you two share a room." They smile at each other. "And then me and Lottie, obviously. Your rooms have mini bars in them too." Hope raises her eyebrows.

"You went all out for this trip."

"Duh. I'm taking a break from my normal adult life. It's time to get in touch with my party girl side." Lottie nods at her approvingly.

"I like this Roben." 

"Good. Cause for the next week this is the Roben you get. Now let's go drop our shit off and then get ready for our first night in Spain." Chelsea fist pumps again.

"Girls on tour! Girls on tour! Girls on tour!"

********

She looks over herself in the mirror, smiling. She wore a short black dress with slits in the ribs. Lottie walks out of the bathroom, whistling at her.

"Who is that sexy lady? I can't remember if I've ever seen you dressed like this."

"I told you this trip is my new beginning. Out with the old and in with the new."

"Are you gonna try and hook up?"

"You know one night stands aren't my thing. Now come here and take a picture with me." They shoot a couple mirror pictures, choosing their favorite to post. They meet up in the lobby, hyping each other up. Hope smiles at all of them.

"Damn, we look hella hot. You already know the boys are gonna be all over us as soon as we walk in the club." Chelsea bites her lip.

"That's the goal." Priya puts her arm around her.

"And that's why we get along. I was just thinking the same thing." Marisol starts walking towards the door.

"Then what are we waiting for?? Let's go!" Lottie smirks, strutting in the same direction. 

"Don't have to tell me twice." They walk in, looking around. Lights flashing, tons of people dancing, waitresses and bartenders everywhere. They girls find a table first and order drinks, doing another cheers before downing them and ordering a second round. "Ro, let's dance!"

"Let's do it!" She takes her hand, going to the middle of the dance floor. After a few songs a couple guys come over, dancing a little too close to them for comfort. Lottie leads them to a different part, hoping they get the hint. They didn't. After moving a third time she looks at them.

"We're not interested, sorry." One of the creeps got way to close to her, twirling a strand of her hair around his finger. She swats his hand away. He frowns at her, the other creep leaning so close to Roben's ear she could feel his breath. She cringes trying to move away. He grabs her wrist.

"I'm not interested, now let go." She tries to pull her arm free, failing. 

"Oi! Back off." They turn to see three of the guys from the plane earlier. They come over, two putting their arms around the girls. "Our girlfriends said they weren't interested. Now back off." The creeps look at the guys, the Scotsman had his arm around Roben while his tall friend with long curl brown hair and green eyes had his around Lottie.

"You don't know each other. They came in alone, we saw them."

"They were meeting us."

"I don't think they were. We saw them first so you get lost." The guy with his arm around her leans down, kissing her. The familiarity quickly takes over, giving her a strong sense of comfort. She kisses him back, her hand going to his cheek. For a moment she completely forgets why he kissed her in the first place. She pushes away after Lottie lets out a sigh of relief. She frowns at him, crossing her arms.

"What are you doing here?"

"Saving your ass for starters. A thank you would be nice."

"I don't meant that, I mean here here. Spain."

"Don't flatter yourself, I wouldn't have come if I knew you were here. Some mates and I came for holiday. And you?"

"My girls and I came for holiday too." Lottie clears her throat, making Roben roll her eyes.

"Bobby, Lottie. Lottie, Bobby. Well what about the club then?"

"My god, Roben. Do you really think I'd waste my time following you around? I have much better things to do than that. Like talking to that lass over there, so if we're done with this..."

"Fuck off, Robert." She stalks away angrily, dragging Lottie behind her.

"What the hell was that about? You never said anything about hating him. One minute you're all sympathetic about him and the next you're telling him to fuck off." 

"I don't know, Lozza. All I know is I'm pissed he fucking snogged me."

"Nothing else was working, what did you want him to do?"

"Anything but that."

"I get it wasn't exactly consentual but it was him who knew it wasn't going anywhere and was gonna back off or the creep who probably would've molested you."

"Let's drop it." She storms over to the bar, ordering another drink. 

"Okay, moving on...hot bartender over there is definitely checking you out." She looks behind her to see a handsome bartender with model good looks looking at her. He smiles and nods in her direction. She flashed her sexiest smirk, waving at him in a flirty manner. He walks over to them, resting his hands on the bar.

"Hi. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you aren't from around here." Roben bites her lip and shrugs.

"No, but I wish I was. I'm Roben and this is my best friend, Lottie." Lottie smiles at him, waving.

"I'm Mateo, it's nice to meet you, ladies." He shakes each of their hands. "What are you two doing here alone? You're too beautiful to be here without someone." She leans on the bar, looking at him.

"I came here to see what kind of men Spain had to offer. Maybe you can help me with that." 

"I would love to. I don't get off until one though."

"Then I guess I'll need another drink." He walks off, smiling, to get her another drink. Lottie giggles, leaning over.

"Damn, Ro. I haven't seen you graft that hard on anyone. Do you really like him?"

"He's hot. Not sure how far I plan on taking this but grafting on him is a lot of fun." 

"I'm liking this new Roben. She's a lot of fun."

"Good, let's find you a man now. See any you like?" She looks around, seeing one of the guys from the plane. 

"Hey, isn't that one of Bobby's mates?"

"I think so, yeah. Why?"

"He's fucking fit that's why. Do you see his biceps? Holy shit." She smiles at her.

"Get grafting."

"You coming?" She shakes her head.

"You'll have a better chance without me. Bobby and I aren't exactly mates." 

"Promise to knee the next creep who hits on you?"

"You know it. Good luck, even though you don't need it." Lottie winks at her, strutting off. She smiles at Mateo when he comes back with her drink.

"Where'd your friend go?"

"She went to go talk to someone, why? You fancy her?"

"No, I'm wondering why I got lucky enough to talk to you alone." She blushes.

"Smooth, nice." He laughs lightly.

"Thanks, I try. So where are you from exactly?"

"All over the place, I'm a military brat. But right now I live in London, England."

"I've always loved London."

"You go often?"

"I haven't been in a while, a couple years really. But I do miss it sometimes."

"It tends to have that effect. People visit and never want to leave." He bites his lip.

"With you there I probably wouldn't." She blushes again. 

"Charming." Suddenly, she feels something cold hit her lap. She jumps up gasping. "What the fuck?!" She looks at the direction it came from, glaring at him. "What the hell is your problem, Bobby? What happened to that little blonde tramp you wanted to graft on?"

"Oh, she's coming back to the hotel with me. I just came to get her a drink and tripped. My bad, I hope your dress isn't ruined." He shrugs. "Send me the bill when you get it dry cleaned."

"Thanks a lot, asshole." He walks away from her, trying to hold back the smile trying to appear. She groans and grabs her wallet, paying for the drinks. She stalks outside, texting the girls while waiting for a taxi to go to the hotel. As soon as she gets in, giving the driver an address, she watches the buildings and lights flash by the window. _**Why does everything turn to ashes when he's around? Why did he have to come here of all places? My new start just ended up being like the rest of my life, a mess. I had creeps being all handsy, a snog from Bobby, which was definitely unwanted...it was nice though. He has really soft lips, he's somehow firm but gentle at the same time. No! Stop it! No! That fucked everything up last time. As soon as we went there everything just went downhill. It was wrong. How could I do that to him? He devoted everything to me and up until then I did too. He told me to move on but that was just...wrong. His best friend?**_ She pays the driver and gets out. She makes it two steps before she realizes she forgot the key to her room. _**Fucking great, Roben. Super ending to this fucked up night.**_ She goes to one of the outdoor lounge areas. She collapses on the bench, kicking off her shoes. She felt angry tears threatening to fall. She saw no one else around, letting them fall. Her mind kept circling back to his face, making her chest hurt. She could see his smile, hear his laugh, smell his cologne. Her tears quickly turned to tears of sadness and heart ache. _**Why did you have to leave me? How could you expect me to just move on? God, this sucks.**_

"Lass?" She quickly wipes her face and nose, looking away from the direction his voice came from. "Are you okay?" She clears her throat.

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine, you're crying. What's-"

"Go away, Bobby. I'm fine."

"Is it about the dress? I'll buy you a new one."

"No! Just go away." He sighs, walking over. He sits next to her. "Leave me alone, go find that blonde bimbo and do what you do best."

"Which is what? Disappear out of someone's life? Oh no, wait. That's you." She glares at him.

"You're a real piece of work. You're really trying to pin this on me? What, are you innocent in this fucked up situation?"

"Innocent? I know I'm a horrible mate. I know it was a mistake and shouldn't have done it, but we did. And instead of running from it I dealt with it. Obviously, you haven't."

"What makes you say that?"

"You've been a massive bitch since I stopped that guy from fucking raping you."

"He wouldn't have done that."

"Really? So everything I heard him say at the bar wasn't true?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard him at the bar before I saw him with you. He kept talking about these two hot tourist with tattoos. A blonde one and brunette one. And then I saw him approach you."

"So you watched him follow me around?"

"I watched to make sure he didn't actually try and act on what he said he would do. And as soon as I saw you trying to get rid of him I went over there." She groans.

"I fucking hate you."

"Once again, you're welcome." 

"Stop saying that! I'm not going to thank you for anything! You fucked everything up!" 

"I did!? Are you not remembering you're the one that slept with me! It wasn't a one person deal!"

"No, it wasn't! You had no problem having one of your buddies over the next day! You decided sleeping with me at my most vulnerable stage was a good choice and then bring another whore into our flat that we shared!"

"All you did the whole time was compare me to him! I know I'm not a great lad like he was, or as good looking as him or as funny or generous. I know I was the bad one of the two and I accepted that. But you made sure to remind me every damn day that the wrong one left!" He throws down a key card on the table. "Here, it's for your room." He storms off, leaving her to feel even worse. She sits down, her face in her hands. She tries to control her sobs, finally managing after a few breaths. She wipes her face and stands up, trying to stop her mind from racing. She picks up her shoes and key card, going up to her room. 

"Great start to a new life, Roben." 


	2. June 2, 2020

The girls sit in silence for a while during the mani-pedi's, soaking up the relaxation. Hope sighs.

"This is the life, girls." Chelsea smiles.

"Spa days are literal life." The rest of the girls murmur in agreement. Priya clears her throat lightly.

"So...Roben...wanna tell us about that guy you were talking to last night?" Lottie answers for her.

"Which one?" Hope looks over at her.

"There was more than one? Damn, you are making a new start." Lottie smirks.

"What can I say? Our girls has some serious skills." Priya nods slowly.

"True, true. But I meant the one we saw you snogging. Unless there was more than one of those." She chews on her lips, watching them paint her toenails red. 

"Someone I know from a long time ago." Marisol shares a look with Hope and Chelsea.

"Like an ex?"

"No. But I'd rather not get into that now, this is supposed to be about relaxing." They reluctantly agree, moving on to all the boys they met. Roben zones out, thinking about him again. 

********

Priya raises her eyebrows.

"That's the third glass of wine you've had." She smiles.

"I have no responsibilities so why not? This is holiday, is it not?" Chelsea and Lottie high five her.

"That's what we're talking about! Girls on tour! Girls on tour!" Hope puts her hand on Chelsea's.

"Don't start the chant again, Chels. We're in a restaurant." Chelsea pouts.

"Fine. But we're doing it later." Hope smiles.

"Okay. Deal." Marisol leans forward.

"I don't mean to pry, Roben...but I'm really curious about that guy." Lottie groans, rolling her eyes.

"Can we not?? Holiday's aren't supposed to be about things like that." Priya raises an eyebrow.

"On holiday we don't talk about boys? Then I'm going home, that's the point of a girls trip." She shakes her head.

"Not guys that they've clearly said they don't want to talk about." Roben smiles, taking Lottie's hand.

"It's alright, Lozza. Relax." She looks back at the girls. "He's someone from my past. We slept together and it ended badly. That's all you need to know." Chelsea smiles, not catching the tone Roben gave them.

"So are you two getting back together? That looked like a pretty hot snog." 

"Nope. He did that because we had two creeps who wouldn't leave us alone. It was only to get them to back off." She pouts.

"Aww, I was hoping it would be one of those really romantic reconnect stories. Star crossed lovers type thing."

"Hell no. Not him." Lottie sits forward.

"This conversation is now boring me, so talk about something else. Anything else." She smiles and pretends to listen, but with the wine and her memories she didn't hear a thing they said. She remembered how his hair felt when she ran her hands through it, how his eyes sparkled when he told her he loved her, his bright smile that made her heart pound. 

********

"You girls go ahead, I'm gonna go upstairs. I'm too tired to go out tonight. I'll catch up with you later." She waves them off, forcing Lottie to go with them. She sighs, going straight to the bar. She sat there for what felt like thirty minutes but turned out to be two hours. She finishes her last drink, closing her tab, stands to leave. She catches herself before she falls. "Oopsie." She giggles to herself, finally feeling happy. She manages to walk out of the bar, going to the lobby. She looks around confused. "Where's my room?" She pulls out the key card from her pocket, reading the number on it. She makes it to the hallway, before she gets nauseous from all the movement. She pukes in one of the maids cart, wiping her face on a towel. 

"What the hell are you doing?" She holds up her finger at the voice, puking again. "Goddamn it, Roben." She finishes puking, wiping her face again. She leans against the wall, sliding down. She sees Bobby standing there and groans. 

"Why are you always everywhere I am? I was feeling happy until now. Damn it."

"You were happy puking in the maids cart?"

"Well before that. But that's gonna be funny tomorrow. Good story to tell the kids one day." He raises his eyebrows.

"Okay...you're very drunk." She waves her hand dismissively.

"Nah, I'm good. The spinning just kind of made it hard to deal with."

"The spinning? You do remember sober people don't see that, right?"

"Eh, who cares." She stands up, almost falling over again. "Fuck face."

"What?"

"Nothing. Anyway. See you, Bobby." She salutes with two fingers, turning around.

"If you're going to your room that's the lobby not where the rooms are." She turns around again. 

"I knew that, I was testing you." He smiles and shakes his head.

"Apparently you haven't changed much." She walks by him, tripping again. He catches her and sighs. "Okay, here we go." He picks her up.

"Hey, I'm fine. I can walk."

"You almost ran into a wall. And you need a quick escape because I'm pretty sure the maid using that cart is about to come out of that room." She sits on the floor of the elevator, looking at herself in the mirror.

"Damn I look rough."

"No you don't. You look fine."

"I really don't. What is that? Did I hit my face?" He looks over, smiling.

"No, your reflection looks funny in the wall because it's a wall not a mirror." 

"No, I'm serious." He shakes his head, pulling out his phone. 

"Look at me." He takes a picture and shows her. "See?"

"Dinnae ken. That still looks rough to me." 

"Dinnae ken?"

"You don't know what?" He rolls his eyes.

"Never mind. You look beautiful, lass. You're just drunk." She waves her hand at him again. The elevator dings, making her jump.

"What the hell was that? Am I baking? Wait, you're the baker. What are you making? Is it those cookies I like?" 

"Wow, you're a lot drunker than I thought. That's the elevator telling us to get off."

"That's rude."

"Sure." He carries her down the hallway to her room. "Give me your key card." She feels around, gasping. "You didn't."

"I have no clue where it is." He sighs.

"Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"I'm going to take you to my room and you're going to sleep there. I'll text your mates and tell them what room. And before you say anything I'm not sleeping with you." 

"Good. Cause this is off limits from now on. No one is gonna get this anymore. I'm gonna be...something. What's the word for not wanting to have sex anymore?"

"Uh, abstinent I think."

"Right, that. New found abstinence. That's what I'm doing."

"Okay."

"What? You think I can't?"

"No, I think you can."

"You don't look like you think I can."

"I'm curious why but I think you can. You're easily _the_ most stubborn person I've ever met." She shrugs, hiding in her thoughts again. They make it to his room, her stumbling in ahead of him. He sighs and shuts the door. "What did I get myself into?"

"What?"

"Nothing. That one is my bed." She looks around, confused. She shakes her head, running to the bathroom. "Fuck." He goes in, holding her hair back. His roommate comes in, seeing Bobby holding her hair back. He raises his eyebrows. "I swear it's not what it probably looks like. I found her puking in a maids cart and she lost her key card. I'm gonna call her mates as soon as she's done puking." He smiles at him, crossing his arms. "Gary, shut up. I don't want to hear it right now." He puts his hands up.

"Okay. I'll tell her roommate, I was gonna see her in a few minutes anyway. Have fun with that one."

"You bet." He leaves them alone. After a few minutes she stops, sitting back. Bobby hands her a wet rag, sitting on the floor in front of her. 

"I think I'm good. I don't feel icky anymore." He helps her stand up, catching her again before she falls. He helps her to his bed and she lays down. She stares at the ceiling, frowning. For a while neither of them say anything. 

"Okay, well I'll let you get to bed then."

"Don't go yet." He stares at her a minute, sitting down on the other bed. She sighs. "I don't feel good."

"There's a trashcan beside the bed." She shakes her head.

"Not like that. I mean this thingy." She points to her chest. "My heart. It's sad." He bites his lip, looking away. "Do you still get sad?"

"All the time."

"It's been two years."

"Yup." She looks at him. "You aren't acting sad."

"Because I'm sober." She sighs.

"You haven't changed either. Still an emotionless robot."

"I am not. I have emotions, I just don't like showing them to people."

"You used to show them to me."

"Yeah, before you left." She stares at the ceiling.

"I had to leave."

"Why? Because of me?"

"Sort of."

"Was it we slept together or I slept with someone else afterwards?"

"Both. And Miles. I felt really guilty that we did that when he'd been gone three weeks. And then after we did that I got all kinds of confusing feelings about that. I started questioning why we did it, why I snogged you, why was I so upset you slept with someone else, why couldn't I look at you the same."

"What do you mean? What kind of confusing feelings? Like guilt and anger?"

"No, like that was some of it. But I kept thinking about it over and over. I started noticing this different stuff about you. Like how your eyes sparkle when you laugh, and how many freckles you have on your face, how you tap your nose when you're trying to be mysterious. And then I started thinking about what us sleeping together meant and I thought since you looked at me the way you did that it meant something to you. And then you brought that girl home and I-" her voice cracks. "It hurt. I felt stupid for thinking so deep into that when I should've just accepted it for what it was...a one night stand. And then it hurt because I realized I was so upset about you I forgot to mourn over Miles. And then it hurt because I realized the two guys that I loved were gone. So I left."

"Why didn't you just talk to me about any of this?"

"It's bad enough that I slept with his best friend, but then starting to get feelings for his best friend so soon...I just feel guilty or like a whore or something. And you wouldn't have talked about any of this. You could barely look at me afterwards. I woke up the next morning and you weren't there. I didn't see you for the rest of the day either. No text, no call, no snapchat, nothing." He sighs.

"Roben...I-"

"It's okay. I get it. It's in the past now, right? It doesn't matter anymore?" She turns over, her back to him. She sniffles. 

"Are you crying?"

"No." He just looks at her, watching her curl into a ball. After a few minutes she stops, slowly drifting off. She speaks so softly he can barely hear her. "I had his son. He looks just like him."

"What?" 

"I had his son. I was pregnant when we slept together." He just stares at her, his brain scrambling to find words. When he sees her breathing even out he walks over, covering her up. He moves her hair out of her face, sighing again.

"It wasn't a one night stand for me." He walks over to the bed, laying down. _**I did not expect holiday to be likes this at all. Did she really mean all that or was she just drunk? She probably won't remember any of this tomorrow anyway. She never remembers nights she gets that drunk. We're good...but I definitely have to ask her about that kid thing tomorrow. Why is this such a mess?**_


	3. June 3, 2020

He hears something weird, lifting his head to look around. It was still dark outside, the clock reading 3:32 am. He gets out of bed, going over to check on her. She's sniffling in her sleep, her pillow wet. He puts a hand on her arm.

"Roben." She stirs a little bit. "Roben." She wakes up, looking at him. She sits up, wiping her face. She clears her throat. 

"Did I wake you?"

"No. I just couldn't sleep." She pulls her knees up, hugging them. He sits down at the end of the bed. "Are you alright?" 

"Why do you care?" He sighs.

"Right, only drunk Roben likes me. Got it. See you tomorrow." He goes back to the other bed, laying down. He hears her sniffle some more. After a few minutes she lays down next to him, facing him. 

"I'm sorry." He looks into her gray eyes, shimmering in the moonlight.

"It's okay." 

"Can I sleep here? We'll use an invisible wall...I don't like sleeping alone." 

"Okay." They turn away from each other, she scoots just a little bit closer. _**What is this? What is with her? What does she want? What else is she hiding?**_

********

She groans when the sunlight touches her face, making her eyes hurt. She opens one eye, looking at the time. 

"Shit!" She sits up quickly, looking around. She sees Bobby next to her, making her jump. He groans.

"Morning. No nothing happened. I found you puking in a maids cart and you lost your room key." She sighs, rubbing her face. 

"I'm late, I need to go." She stands up.

"Late for what?"

"I need to call someone." 

"Your son?" She freezes, turning to look at him.

"My what?"

"Your son. You told me last night before you passed out you had a son with Miles." She looks down at her feet. 

"What else did I tell you?"

"Why you left." She looks at the window, back down at her feet.

"What exactly did I say?"

"You said you got confused about how you felt about me and then you felt guilty for feeling that way since it was so soon after Miles." She nods slowly.

"Right."

"Did you really have his kid?"

"Yes. I have twins actually."

"Twins don't run in his family....right?"

"He actually has some grandparents that are twins. So it does but it skipped a few generations for some reason."

"Where are they now?"

"My mum is watching them. They come here to be with me on Sunday. That's why I've been drinking so much, I don't have to be a mum for a bit." 

"Do they look like him?"

"They look and act just like their dad."

"Does his family know?"

"No. I haven't been able to get to that point. It's been really hard to deal with since I found out." She sniffles, wiping her nose. "Um, I need to go. Thanks for last night...both times." She walks out without another word. He looks out the window. _**This is so weird.**_

********

She sits on her bed after her shower, watching the trees sway in the wind through her window. Lottie comes in, sitting next to her.

"So I heard you got shit faced last night and Bobby found you puking in a maids cart. Nice move, babe." She smiles.

"I needed some alone time but apparently I don't know when I've had enough. I don't remember last night. I woke up next to him and almost had a heart attack."

"Woah, woah, woah. In bed with him?"

"Nothing happened. I was fully clothed and so was he. We were in the exact outfit we wore yesterday. Besides, he's an asshole but even he doesn't take advantage of a drunk woman."

"Just a grieving woman." She winces.

"Yeah...apparently I told him all about that last night." Lottie groans.

"You didn't. You had one of your drunken honesty hours didn't you?"

"I guess so. I told him why I left. He didn't say what he said back about it...but he said I told him why I left. I just don't know how much I told him."

"He didn't tell you?"

"He just said I said I felt confused about him and it made me feel guilty. Which is true."

"So why are you worried then?"

"I told him about little Miles." She gasps.

"You didn't."

"I did."

"So he knows?"

"Not everything. He knows I have twin boys but I didn't feel comfortable talking about them yet so I left. He's gonna want to meet them and I'm not ready for that until I have to...Sunday."

"Are you gonna let him meet them?" She shrugs.

"Probably should. They were best friends."

"You don't have to though. You are their mother. You can go to a different hotel ." She shakes her head. 

"I think it might be time to work through everything. I just need a few more days."

"Are you okay now?" She nods.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just...it took a lot out of me. I'm really tired...and have a massive hangover."

"You want to get something to eat?"

"Not yet. I will later. I think I'm gonna take a nap."

"Okay. Text me if you need me, love."

"I will, thanks." She gives her a tight hug. "How did I get so lucky to find you?"

"Who knows, I'm a blessing to anyone's life." She laughs, gently pushing her.

"With a huge ego too."

"No, I'm confident. There's a difference."

"Whatever you say, Lozza."

"Okay, I've got lunch plans so I'll see you later."

"Okay. Have fun." She waves and walks out, leaving her alone again. "What did you get yourself into, Roben?"

********

Someone knocks on her door, making her groan loudly.

"Leave me alone, fuck." She gets up, opening it to see someone she doesn't know. "Uh...can I help you?"

"Yeah, this is for you." She raises her eyebrows and takes the bag. She looks inside smiling.

"French toast?"

"You're favorite, right?"

"Um, yeah." She stares at him a minute. "I'm sorry, who are you?" He smiles, giving her a funny fluttering feeling in her chest.

"Sorry, I forgot that part. Uh, I'm Noah. I'm Bobby's mate and he sent me to bring this to you." She smiles at him.

"Okay...but how did you know I was the right person." He pulled out his phone, showing her a picture of her smiling in the elevator. "Oh God, when did that happen and why do you have it?" He laughs.

"Bobby sent it to me."

"And the story behind that is...?"

"You thought your face looked funny from your reflection in the wall, so he took a picture to show you it was fine." She blushes, wincing.

"Not my finest moment."

"Apparently, you had quite a few of those." She sucks in through her teeth.

"I'm almost scared to know...but I really need to know." 

"I've already heard everything so...I can tell you."

"Do you want to come in? I'm clean, I promise. I took a shower." He blushes.

"Sure. If Lottie doesn't mind."

"Nah, she'll be okay."

"Good...she scares me a little bit." She laughs.

"She has that effect." She steps aside, letting him in. They sit down on her bed, he helps her unload the food. "I want to hate him but he's hard to hate."

"I mean you can keep trying, might get there one day." She laughs again.

"Good point. Practice makes perfect, perseverance and all that."

"Exactly my point."

"So tell me what else happened. I know about the maids cart, and the wall thing now. What else did I do?"

"When you heard the elevator you thought it was an oven dinging. You asked what you were making and then you remembered Bobby baked. So you asked him if he made the cookies you liked."

"Jesus H Christ."

"Uh, then there was going to the lobby when you were trying to go to your room."

"I had clothes on, right?"

"From what I know, yes."

"So what was the highlight?"

"So many things to choose from, pick your poison." She laughs again, shaking her head.

"They're horrible, I'm glad I don't remember them."

"Do you remember asking to sleep next to him?" She pauses, focusing on getting her food cut up.

"Yes, I was sober then."

"He said...you were crying." She nods slowly.

"Yeah."

"May I ask why?" She sighs.

"My husband died two years ago. Once in a while I'll have a dream where I see him again. He never stays for more than a minute or two, which is usually when I cry. I know it sounds crazy but I swear it's real."

"What does he tell you?"

"Depends what's going on. He always says he loves me and the boys. But he usually adds something about what's going on at the moment."

"What did he say last night?" She sniffles.

"He said that it was okay, he wasn't mad. He said I should fix things with Bobby so we were friends again."

"Do you think you can?"

"No, I don't think we can be friends again. But I guess I should at least try. We just have a lot to work through."

"If it helps he's just as confused. He told Gary and I about it all. He hasn't told anyone else so no one knows about most of the stuff you said or did." She sighs.

"That's good I guess...except a stranger now knows about my kids. And our history. And why I left."

"True...but I'm usually the level headed one to Bobby's bone headed self." She smiles.

"Good, he needs that. Otherwise, he'll get into a lot of trouble."

"That's how we met actually. I stopped him from getting into a fight in a pub. Been mates ever since."

"That was nice of you to step in like that." He shrugs.

"Bobby was in the right but he would've gotten arrested for it. The other guy was already going to get arrested."

"What for?" He chews on his lip.

"He tried to hurt a woman and Bobby stopped him."

"See, how can I hate someone who repeatedly saves women from perves and assholes?" He chuckles.

"You mean like he did for you the other night?"

"You saw that?"

"Me and Rocco were the ones there. Rocco is our other mate, we're here with." She frowns.

"I didn't even notice you two." He shrugs.

"You were pretty busy yelling at Bobby." She smiles.

"I tend to do that."

"So I've heard."

"I feel like this isn't making me look very good right now."

"I think it is." She raises her eyebrows. "It shows your strong and passionate. A little confused right now but still strong. You went through a lot of tough shit in a short time, it would take most people years to even get to the point you are."

"Which is?"

"Realizing you need a change of some sort and aiming for it. All while still being a good mum." She blushes.

"I bet you say things like that to all the women you talk to."

"Well you're the first mum I've talked to so...no." She bites her lip.

"Well I'm honored then." She studies his face when he isn't looking. His smooth light skin, his medium brown wavy hair, his strong jaw, his bright brown eyes, his dazzling smile. _**He's really cute...and funny. And sweet. Maybe there are good guys after all.**_


	4. June 4, 2020

He sits at the breakfast table with the boys, laughing at another horrible joke Gary told. Rocco smiles, shaking his head.

"I'm loving this holiday vibe, lads. How are we all feeling?" Rahim smiles.

"Priya is so goofy and out there. Usually not my type but I really like her." Gary nods.

"That girl Lottie, damn. She's feisty...I love it. And she's flames. What about you, Carl?"

"I haven't really made a solid connection. I like Chelsea and Hope the best though." Rocco smiles.

"I love Marisol's aura. She's so smart too, which is really hot. Who do you have the best connection with, Noah?" He clears his throat.

"Uh, well, I like Hope's confidence. But I met this other girl that I'm starting to really like too. She's gorgeous and funny. She has a great sense of humor, she's smart. She loves to read, she actually volunteers at the local library to read to kids. She has kids though." Bobby looks up slowly, Noah avoids his eyes. He frowns slightly. 

"Are you talking about Roben?" He shrugs.

"I mean-" Rahim nudges Carl.

"Look, look. Here they come." The girls pile in the doorway, looking around. Carl stares at the girl in front with brown curly hair, covered in tattoos.

"Who is that???" Rocco stares for a minute.

"She's hot. Please tell me she's available." Bobby frowns.

"What happened to Marisol?"

"Who?" Roben looks over, leading the girls in their direction.

"Hi, boys. I'm Roben, it's nice to finally meet all of you." They all smile at her, taking their turns going up and talking to her. The girls take their seats, watching the boys trip over her. Lottie sits between Bobby and Gary, who hadn't gotten up. He leans over.

"Are none of them jealous the lads are all over her?" She shakes her head.

"It happens all the time. She's not much for dating though, so it never turns into anything."

"She doesn't date?"

"She has two kids, a full time job and she volunteers. Unless they're willing to come over for a lunch of chicken nuggets and Mac and cheese, or go to the children's story time at the library, she doesn't get much time." He looks down, playing with his food.

"So she's not seeing anyone then?" She arches an eyebrow.

"No...she's not. The boys keep her busy, plus she's afraid she won't find them a good enough father figure so she's really picky." He nods.

"Right, father figure. Glad I'm not in the running then." She just sips her tea, watching him carefully. Roben walks over to the seat between Noah and Bobby. She looks between them, smiling sweetly at Noah. 

"Is it okay if I sit here?" Noah smiles and nods.

"Yeah, of course." She looks at Bobby, her smile growing smaller.

"Is it okay with you?" He doesn't look up from his plate, he can feel everyone's eyes on them.

"Yeah." She sits down, looking at her hands in her lap.

"I wanted to thank you for sending the food yesterday. It was sweet."

"You're welcome." 

"I can't believe you remembered French toast is my favorite." He shrugs.

"We lived together for four years. I remember a lot. Give me some credit. I may not be as smart as him but I do remember shit." She frowns.

"I never said you weren't smart."

"Maybe not like that but you talked an awful lot about how he was the smartest guy you knew. And let's not forget you bragged about him getting the highest honors in school when we graduated." 

"I can't be proud of him? Is that a crime for a girlfriend to be proud of her boyfriend? I'm sorry it hurt your ego but maybe if you tried to study once in a while instead of hooking up you would've had a chance." 

"You know what, I'm not hungry anymore. See you lot later." He walks off, hearing her groan in frustration. _**I want to go home, where she isn't. Maybe then I can get away from this shit.**_

********

She takes a deep breath and looks around at the others. 

"I'm sorry about that. Um, anyway..." Rocco clears his throat.

"So, uh, you've known Bobby for a long time then?" Marisol swats his arm, Noah glares at him. "Ow, what? I'm curious!" She smiles putting her hand over Noah's, looking around.

"It's alright everyone. Yes, I've known him since I was 17, we met in school. My family moved around a lot and we ended up moving to Scotland. I lived there until 22 I think. Then I went to London." Rahim nods.

"Why the change after so many years?"

"There's some stuff I needed to get away from, make my own life." She forces her smile to stay. "Enough about me, what do you lads do for work?" Rocco smiles.

"I own a food truck. I travel all over the UK, stopping in random places to make some sales and meet new people."

"Ooh, nice. A free soul kind of type." She smiles at Marisol.

"Interesting, right?" Roben nods.

"And what about you?" She points to Carl.

"I'm a tech entrepreneur."

"Very nice, so you're smart." She meets Hope's eyes, wiggling her eyebrows.

"I know, right?"

"What do you do?" She looks over at Rahim.

"I'm a professional golfer and personal trainer." She smiles at Priya.

"Definitely explains a lot." She bites her lip.

"Tell me about it."

"I already know you're a crane operator, Lottie has a thing for hard labor kind of guys." Lottie smiles and shrugs.

"I'm not afraid to admit I have a type." She looks at Noah.

"And I know you work in a library, which is oddly refreshing." He smiles.

"Why is that?"

"Because most guys that hit on me don't have such calm careers. They're really...high strung? Time consuming?" He smirks.

"Who said anything about hitting on you?" 

"Oh no, no. Don't try and pull that on me. I may have been out of the game for a while but I think I know when someone is grafting." He blushes.

"Alright, fine. I admit I might have grafted a little bit." 

"Mhmm." She looks over at Chelsea, seeing her frowning. "What's wrong, Chels?"

"I don't have anyone." Hope looks between Roben and Chelsea. 

"What about Bobby?" Everyone looks at her for her reaction. She forces another smile.

"I am not his keeper, our history is strictly friendship that ended badly, you are more than welcome to graft on him. Maybe you'll be the one to get him to stop sleeping around. You're more than tempting enough to make him come back more than twice." Chelsea smiles.

"Thanks, hun. I don't think he's that interested though." Gary shrugs.

"To be fair, he doesn't really take the time to get to know any birds." Rocco nods.

"He's more of a ladies man than any of us. His numbers are pretty damn high." Rahim chuckles.

"We sometimes joke he had to move out of Scotland because he already slept with every available woman there." Roben frowns.

"He moved out of Scotland? Where is he now?"

"Chatham. We're flatmates, that's how he met all of them." She smiles.

"So I won't be going to your flat then?" He chuckles.

"I guess not. I'll have to meet you and Lottie in London."

"As long as you don't mind kids. I rarely go anywhere without my kids. That's why I love my girls so much. They love my kids like they're their own. Or as their aunt if kids isn't in the cards for them." Rahim stares at her for a minute.

"Oooh, so you're the one?"

"What one?" He looks at Noah. 

"Ooohhhh." Noah blushes and clears his throat.

"So anyway, what's the plans for today?" She smiles at him. Chelsea wiggles in her seat.

"I'm going to a farmer's market they're having in town today. Anybody else want to come?" Hope and Roben raise their hands.

"Me!" They look at each other and laugh. Chelsea claps excitedly. 

"Yay!!! It opens soon so we better hurry then." Hope gets to work on her food.

"Don't have to tell me twice." Priya stretches. 

"I'm ready just for a pool day personally. Have a bit of tanning done and relax." Lottie nods.

"That's what I'm talking about. I'll join you for that one." Marisol smiles.

"Me too. I need some sun to boost my skins lack of color. I'm way too pale right now." Lottie chuckles.

"Same! Though you're still tanner than me." Priya looks at her, a playful glint in her eye.

"Hun, everyone is tanner than you are. Even snow." Lottie smiles, throwing a grape at Priya. 

"Damn, Priya. Let a girl have it." She throws another grape, Priya catching it in her mouth. She squeals and raises her hands up.

"Oh! I did it! I've never done that!" Roben high fives her.

"Yas queen! I'm so proud of you!" The boys shake their heads, Carl resting his arms on the table.

"You girls seem to have a lot of fun." Chelsea flips her hair.

"Duh, that's why we're bras." Noah looks at her curiously. 

"Bras?" Marisol chuckles. 

"Bras are supportive so she uses them as a metaphor for strong friendships, like ours." Rahim nods slowly.

"Interesting. Never heard that one before." Hope shrugs.

"You get used to it with Chelsea. She certainly knows how to make things fun." Chelsea bats her eyelashes.

"Thanks, hun. I try to keep things interesting." Roben smiles at her.

"You definitely succeed at that. Never a dull moment with you." She looks at her now empty plate. "But I'm going to go get my stuff ready to go. So it was nice to meet all of you and I will see you lot later." Noah clears his throat nervously. 

"So, uh, want to maybe do something later?" 

"Like what?" 

"I don't, I don't know. We could get something to eat, go for a walk, see what else they have to do around here." She smiles and shrugs.

"Sounds fun. Let me know what time." She winks at him, getting up from the table. He lets out a breath of relief after she leaves.

"Holy shit I was nervous." The girls raise their eyebrows. "What?" Priya shrugs.

"Roben doesn't date. She always tells them no. I mean she's been on a few but they usually don't go past date number two." Marisol takes a sip of her coffee.

"The fact she even said yes is a big deal." He wipes his hands on his pants.

"Now I'm nervous again." Hope smiles.

"Don't be. If she said yes that means she at the very least likes you. But considering I haven't seen her graft with anyone as much she has with you, you have a good shot." Lottie leans forward. 

"Quick question though. How do you feel about kids? If you don't like or want kids she won't even go."

"I love kids. I want kids some day. Rather they're mine or from a previous relationship. Though I would like at least one of my own." Lottie smiles.

"Then you have my seal of approval." Priya leans over.

"Trust me, it matters. Most women joke about it but she's dead serious. If Lottie doesn't approve there's a good chance it won't happen." 

"Well I'm glad I got your approval then." She smiles.

"You're welcome. Now, I'm stuffed and ready to get to the sun loungers. So I'll see you girls later." With a few goodbyes the group breaks off into smaller groups, chatting excitedly about the day.


	5. June 5, 2020

Priya hooks her arm through Roben's.

"So tonight we thought we'd try that restaurant we saw near the fountain and then go to a club later."

"Sounds good to me, babe." They walk into her room, being greeted by everyone else. She frowns. "Why is everyone here? I thought we came here for me to change." She leads her inside.

"We actually want to talk to you."

"About what? What's wrong?" The door opens, Bobby and Noah entering. She frowns at him, crossing her arms. He sees her and rolls his eyes. He tries to back out but Noah blocks the door, shaking his head.

"Nope. Get in." Roben glares at everyone else.

"What is this? A freaking intervention??" Rahim shrugs.

"Actually, yes. We need to talk to you guys." She shakes her head.

"No, no. I'm not doing this." Bobby scoffs, muttering under his breath.

"Figures." She turns to him angrily.

"What the hell does that mean?" He leans against the wall, shrugging.

"Nothing. I'm just not surprised that you don't want to talk about this. You never do, that's why you left. You'd rather run than talk to me."

"Oh, I'm the one that's caused this then? Like me leaving started all of this. I told you why I left but I noticed you haven't said a word about what you said the other night."

"You haven't asked."

"Okay, what did you say to everything?"

"Nothing." She tosses her hands in defeat.

"Shocker, the emotionless robot makes a come back."

"I am not an emotionless robot."

"You seem to act like it. You want to pretend this is all on me when I'm not the only person in this." Marisol stands between them.

"Okay, we need to take this down a notch. It's getting a little too heated. Obviously there's some issues we need to work through for the group." Rocco stands beside her.

"I agree. We've all become mates, except you two. We all get along except you two. And we don't want to stop hanging out because you two can't be around each other for more than a minute without fighting. It's messing with the holiday vibe." Chelsea sighs.

"We may not know what happened between you two, but we know it's something that really hurt you both. And we need to get this figured out. You don't have to tell us what happened but we do need to do this." Roben shakes her head.

"No, no we don't. I don't want anything to do with him, with this. None of it." Gary looks at her.

"Why? What's he done to make you hate him so much?" 

"Because he's an ass. A immature, irresponsible, arrogant ass." He stands up.

"Oh real mature, call me a bunch of names."

"Sorry, it's not my fault it's true." 

"I love how you keep pretending this is all on me, yet you refuse to admit you did anything wrong." 

"So you can pin it all on me? Because you can never take responsibility for yourself so you want me to take all the blame?" Hope stands up, groaning.

"Oh my God, stop it! That is enough! Stop bickering and actually listen! What happened between you two? Why do you hate each other so much? What the hell happened??" Roben rolls her eyes.

"Ask him. I'd love to see what he has to say." He glares at her.

"Fine. We slept together and two days later she left without a word. I haven't heard from her in two years and I'm pissed she didn't even have the decency to talk to me." Rahim scratches his head.

"So you're upset over a one night stand?" Priya shakes her head.

"It couldn't have been a one night stand, he said they lived together for four years." Carl thinks a moment.

"But they've both said they didn't date so how would it not be a one night stand?" Roben looks at Bobby.

"You acted like it didn't even happen. You were gone before I woke up and you brought home another woman the next night. How am I supposed to act when you ignore me all day then show up with another girl?"

"Because I was confused! I didn't know what to do! I felt guilty and horrible about it! We had just lost Miles, the lad you were in love with for years. My best mate and then I went and slept with his wife."

"And you think I didn't feel guilty too?? I gave everything to him, literally everything. I lost the love of my life and then I slept with his best friend. After all the years we swore to everyone nothing was there, we weren't attracted to each other, we slept together!"

"So what are you saying then? You're ashamed we had sex?"

"Yes!"

"Great, that makes me feel really good. I'm glad we had this talk."

"But not because we had sex. Because I went back on my word, because I gave in to your stupid Scottish bullshit. Because when he was laying in that hospital bed I told him I could never care about anyone like I cared about him and then I started to." 

"What do you mean you started to care for me?" She looks down, fighting back the tears.

"What does it matter to you anyway? I was obviously the only one that felt differently or it meant something to. You couldn't even tell me that, you had to bring someone else home."

"I fucked up, okay?! I brought her home because it felt wrong to want to be with you like that! I hated myself that I let it get that far. I promised him I would take care of you, but I don't think he meant like that! It wasn't a one night stand to me, it meant more to me. But we couldn't be together. I knew I could never be as good as him to you. I knew that no matter what happened between us I was always going to be second best. I was always second best, to every one."

"What are you talking about?"

"We know I was the fuck up of the pair. He was the smart one, the good looking one, the responsible one, the mature one. He had a plan and motivation. He knew what he wanted and he went for it. I know how much you loved him, and I knew I couldn't compare to him. I saw you two together for years. I saw how much you loved him, how much he loved you. I was there when you planned your future together. When you planned what you would name your future kids, what kind of flat you would buy, how many dogs you would have, what your kids would grow up to be. He was everything you wanted, he could give you everything you wanted and I knew I couldn't. I knew I couldn't ever come close to him and I didn't want to spend the rest of my life being second best with you." She looked into his eyes, the tears silently falling. For a long time no one says anything. She sniffles.

"So what now then? What do we do now? I hate you and you hate me. We're pissed at each other because we both feel guilty for doing what we did but not because we did it. Neither of us knew what the other wanted so we just what shut each other out?"

"Dinnae ken, Roben." She looks at him for a minute.

"You really think you're second best? Even with him gone you think you're second best?" He shrugs.

"Always have been, always will be. Even these lads are all better. Why do you think I don't try to get to know anyone, there's no point. The one time I wanted to before I could even try I was pinned second best. My own mum didn't even believe in me."

"But you're not. There's plenty of things you were better than him at. You just never looked."

"Like what?" She sighs.

"You could cook, he couldn't even make toast. Remember the one time he tried it he almost caught the kitchen on fire." He smiles. "You're artistic, he wasn't. You were both equally funny...but your jokes were better. You were the master of making cocktails, he could barely pour a glass of scotch without somehow screwing it up. You were way cleaner too, I rarely had to clean up after you. I picked up so many of his dirty socks I almost told him to just throw them away when he was done and keep a new pack to get a new pair every day. Sure he was really good at school, he had motivation and drive and ambition. You did too, you just didn't see it. Every single person knew who you were and absolutely no one hated you. He had a lot of people that didn't like him. Every girl I knew wanted you, they were jealous you would come sit with me instead of them. There was even a list of the most wanted guys and guess who was number one? You. He was second. You just never gave any of them a chance, so you never saw they wanted to date you." He looks down at his feet, leaning against the wall. 

"I am suddenly very aware we're in a room full of people." They look around at everyone watching them. Lottie stands up. 

"We'll be outside by the pool. Don't kill each other." She stays behind after everyone else walks out, whispering something to Roben. She gives her a small smile and nods. When they're alone they just look at each other.

"So what now, Roben? What do you want to do?" She hugs herself, looking at the window. 

"I honestly don't know. What can we do?" 

"Dinnae ken....."

"Do you really believe that about yourself?"

"Yeah. How can I not? He was easily the best person I've ever known." She smiles, sniffling.

"But so are you." She slowly walks up to him, looking into his eyes. "I'm sorry I ever made you feel second best. But it wasn't a competition. Yeah, there's no one like him. No one can ever replace him. But there's no one like you either. No one can replace you." He just stares into her eyes.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean to. I was actually trying to help you then I got all...whatever the word is."

"How were you trying to help me? Sleeping with me is trying to help?" He smiles.

"I mean, I am really good at that. But no. I'm not sure how to word it."

"Can you try?"

"You looked so hurt, so broken. And then you smiled and you laughed. All I could think was 'man, I wish I could keep that smile on her.' I loved seeing you smile. But I couldn't think about how I could make you feel better. And then you snogged me and it made me feel happy. And it just went from there." She sighs.

"How have we created such a mess?" 

"I guess that's a talent we didn't know we had. Or at least you didn't know you had. I knew I was good at fucking everything up." She gives him a worried look. "What? What is it?" Her eyes started watering. "Roben, what did I say? What's wrong?" She covers her mouth, shaking her head. She walks a few steps away. She covers her eyes, trying to stop the tears. "Roben..." She sniffles, taking a deep breath. 

"I'm such a fuck up too. You have every right to hate me. I'm a horrible, horrible person." He walks over to her. 

"Hey, that's enough." She shakes her head, looking into his eyes.

"It's true, it really is. I'm such a horrible person. I'm selfish and a wimp. I never think before I do things until it's too late. I-" he kisses her, making her stop talking. She sighs, wrapping her arms around his neck. It quickly becomes intense and passionate. They start removing each others clothes, exploring each others bodies. He carries her to her bed, slowing down as he gets on top of her. She clings to him, soaking up every moment they're together. "Fuck, Bobby." He moans softly, gripping the sheets next to her. 

"Fuck, Roben." She loses all sense of time, the rest of the world melting away. She straddles him, him holding her close. Her emotions bubbling to the surface, she tried to fight them back but couldn't. He looked into her eyes, wiping a tear away.

"Bobby...I-" He kisses her hard, making her moan loudly. 

"Me too." 

********

He runs his hand softly up and down her back with her cuddled up next to him.

"Who do you usually sleep with?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said you don't like to sleep alone."

"Oh, just my dog. I haven't..."

"You haven't what?"

"I've only been with two guys."

"Really?? But you're so gorgeous, how has no one else been able to make it that far? Wait, so you haven't slept with anyone else since me?" She smiles.

"I have to feel something for it to happen. If there's no feelings it's not happening." He smiles, kissing the top of her head. She sighs, her arms tightening around him. _**This feels so right, so comfortable. I missed this feeling of closeness, of intimacy. I haven't felt this since...**_ She opens her eyes, reality setting in. He sees her face.

"What's wrong?" She sits up, pulling the sheets over her chest. He sighs. "We're back to that?" She gets out of bed, getting dressed.

"We shouldn't have done that."

"Why?" 

"Because it's wrong. There's still so much to figure out. We didn't solve anything. We just created more problems."

"Like what? What problems?"

"The whole reason we keep fighting! Instead of fixing it, we added to it!"

"I thought we were fixing it!"

"You said so yourself, we shouldn't have done it. We are supposed to be loyal to him as his friend and his wife. Instead every time we're near each other we sleep together. We can't keep doing this. We have too much to work through."

"Like what? I felt like we shouldn't have done it the first time but this time feels different. This time it felt right and I know you felt it too." She tosses his clothes at him, turning to the mirror.

"Get dressed. We aren't going to tell anyone about us having sex. We have to stop fighting for the group so from now on let's just not talk to each other." He sighs, getting dressed while she attempts to fix her hair. He walks over to her, wrapping his arms around her. She looks at him in the mirror. She looks at how they look together, his arms around her. She leans in just for a second before shaking her head. She moves out of his arms. "We can't do this. This can't happen." 

"Why? I have feelings for you and you have feelings for me. Is it because of his kids?" She sighs shaking her head, fighting back tears. "Then what is it? Why can't we just be together? Is it because of what you think his family will say if they find out?" She walks up to him slowly, hesitantly putting a hand on his chest.

"Because we can't Bobby." He looks down at her sadly.

"It's because I'm not him isn't it?" She shakes her head. "Roben look at me." She looks into his eyes. "I have real feelings for you and I know you have real feelings for me. This feels right, this is right. Maybe not then but it is now. I know you feel the same way." He guides her lips to his, kissing her again. She melts into the kiss, forgetting everything else. She quickly pulls away.

"Bobby...this is wrong. We were the ones he trusted most and we keep betraying his trust. I promised him everything, I made vows to love him forever." She saw the hurt in his eyes, touching his cheek. "I...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He sighs, stepping back out of her reach.

"It's fine, I get it. He was your one. So we'll keep this between us and just pretend the other one doesn't exist so everyone else can stay friends." He turns, leaving her alone in the room. She sighs, looking out the window. Silent tears fell.

"Why do we keep doing this? Why do I keep doing this? I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. It's just with him..." Another tear falls. "I don't know if I can let go yet...are you even still there?" A bird with a jet black head and bright red chest lands on the windowsill. She smiles. _**I don't know what kind of bird it is...but that's definitely in the cardinal family.**_ "Promise to always stay with us? To help us figure this out?" The bird flaps it's wings wildly a couple times, settling back down. She chuckles. "Good. Don't leave me yet." 


	6. June 6, 2020

The girls sit on the side of the pool while the boys sit in the pool. Gary looks over at Roben.

"So what are we doing tonight as your last night of no responsibility?" She thinks a minute.

"I'm going to the club tonight. Gotta get it in while I can." Priya raises her eyebrows.

"Get it in, huh?" She blushes.

"I didn't mean like that, I meant the lack of responsibility. Once the boys come I won't be able to go out like we have been. Which is fine, I miss them. I'd rather be home with them but I want to take advantage of this while I can." Priya smiles.

"Right. Okay." Noah clears his throat.

"So, uh, am I, I mean we, am we, uh, are we going to see your kids?"

"Are you asking to meet my kids?"

"I mean, yeah. I get it if not, you don't really know me-us. I-we can just be introduced as friends. I mean if we-I you know..." He sighs. "You know I think there's something I forgot to do inside." She laughs, taking his arm as he walks by.

"Noah, it's okay. Yes, you can meet my kids. But you will be introduced as a friend, we've only been on one date." He smiles, standing in front of her.

"Okay, I'm okay with that. Maybe I can change that soon." She blushes.

"Smooth line. I like your style." She bites her lip, making him blush. Marisol leans back, soaking in the sun.

"It's been nice...but I am starting to miss them." Hope nods.

"Me too. They're so cute, I miss seeing their adorable little smiles every time we came in the door." Lottie chuckles.

"I miss Ro putting them in my bed to wake me up. Nothing like having babies cuddling up to you to wake you up." Rahim smiles at Roben.

"You do that?"

"I do. They adore Auntie Lottie. They adore all their auntie's. I do the same thing when the rest of the girls stay over." Gary leans on the side of the pool.

"I have a question. Who sees themselves having kids?" Everyone except Bobby, Carl and Hope raise their hands. Hope smiles at Carl.

"I have a good feeling about you." He blushes, biting his lip. Gary rolls his eyes, looking over at Bobby.

"I thought you wanted kids." He shrugs.

"You'd have to see yourself settling down in the future to have kids."

"You don't see yourself doing that?"

"I mean I haven't really made a connection with anyone so far." Rocco sits next to Marisol.

"Have you actually tried though? I'm all for having your fun, being free. But if you want a connection one day you have to see a girl for more than a night. Even I've had a few relationships." 

"If I don't feel anything after talking to you for a few hours, I don't have much hope that there's anything there." Roben looks at him curiously.

"What do you mean?" He meets her eyes.

"I've always believed that when I met the right person we would click right away. Not really love at first sight, but we would have some sort of chemistry. Some sort of connection. I haven't really had that with anyone." Gary looks between Bobby and Roben, meeting Lottie's eyes. Chelsea raises her hand.

"My turn! Who here is a dog person and who is a cat person?" Some of the others smile at her, debating over which pet was superior. She claps. "I love this! Okay, okay. Who here wants to get married?" She points to Bobby. "Even if you think you won't meet someone, if you want it raise your hand." He smiles and raises his hand with everyone else. She giggles, asking more questions.

********

She looks over herself in the mirror. Her short purple dress fitting her curves perfectly, the color making her eyes pop. The slit going up her right thigh, showing off her peacock tattoo. Lottie comes out of the bathroom and whistles.

"Now that's what I call a MILF." She winks at her.

"Come and get it." Lottie rolls her eyes, smiling.

"Come on, we're probably the last ones they're waiting on. She takes her hand, leading her downstairs. Bobby is the first to see her, doing a double take. His jaw drops as he looks her checks her out. She notices him staring and blushes, smiling at him.

"Holy shit." Noah looks over at him and sees his face, frowning at him. He follows his eyes, doing the same thing.

"Holy shit." Bobby shakes his head, walking to the other side of the group. _**Note to self: stay far away from her tonight. I definitely won't be able to not snog her dressed like that.**_ As soon as they arrive, she drags the girls to the dance floor. Priya looks behind her and smiles.

"You seem to have an admirer." She smiles looking back, seeing Bobby look away as soon as he notices she's looking. 

"That's not happening." Chelsea shrugs.

"I don't know...you two were alone in your room quite a while." She blushes, praying they can't tell in the lighting. 

"We hate each other." Marisol gives her a knowing look.

"Roben, come on. From what we saw you don't hate each other, you hate what happened between you two." She shakes her head.

"Look, I don't want to spend my time talking about Bobby." The girls exchange looks with each other. "What? I get you like having a girls chat about the lads but I don't want to talk about me and Bobby." Hope raises an eyebrow.

"It just seems like you two have some strong feelings, rather it's love or hate." Lottie shrugs.

"I was gonna say pent up sexual tension but that works too." Roben smiles, swatting her arm. 

"Oh come off it, Lozza. You know I don't want to sleep around." Chelsea shrugs.

"Sleeping with two guys and repeat sleeping with one of said guys isn't sleeping around. Just saying." She rolls her eyes.

"Are we done talking about Bobby yet? We came here to have fun, I'm not having fun talking about him." Marisol smiles at someone behind her.

"Well, we could talk about Noah heading this way." She turns and sees Noah walking towards them. She smiles.

"Now him I'll talk about." He walks up to her.

"Hi, I noticed you from the bar and I had to come ask you a question."

"Yes?"

"Can you feel my shirt for me?" She looks at him confused but touches the collar of his shirt. "That's boyfriend material." The girls laugh, looking at each other. She turns back to him.

"That was really smooth, I love it!" Priya puts a hand on her back.

"That was actually done really good. Maybe he can help Rahim on his lines." Hope smiles.

"I think it's cute how he trips on his words around you." Marisol nods.

"I agree. He shows definite signs of being nervous around you which is adorable." Priya smiles.

"It is really cute." Noah smiles at her.

"Why don't I buy you a drink?" 

"Okay, T-Pain." He laughs.

"I haven't thought about that song in so long!"

"It's a classic." He leads her by the hand to the bar as the girls wave her off. She meets Bobby's eyes as they walk by, her heart thundering in her ears. She looks away, attempting to get her hearing back from her heart.

"I used to listen to that song all the time."

"Is that when you learned how to twerk on tables?" He laughs.

"No, that was my first year at uni."

"What did you major in?"

"English Literature."

"Should've guessed, Mr. Bookworm."

"Hey, I will not be ashamed for liking books." She bites her lip.

"I think it's cute."

"Good cause I couldn't think of a good excuse to cover that." She smiles, shaking her head. She was surprised at how easy it was for her to talk to him, nothing ever getting awkward. _**I'm starting to really like him. He's got good looks, brains, a good heart, banter.**_ She looks behind him, seeing Bobby talking to a dark haired woman. She smiles, putting her hand on his arm. He bites his lip, saying something to her and making her laugh. Noah sees what she's looking at and clears his throat. He looks down at his drink. "Am I wasting my time?"

"What?"

"I know it's been hard for you two to figure out whatever you need to...but I want to know if I'm wasting my time. If you're going to go back to him then I don't want to get between you two and stop it." She looks at him for a long moment.

"I wish I had an answer, but I don't. Which is probably a sign it's best we stop this before it gets too far. It's not fair to ask you to wait until I sort through my messed up life." 

"But you're not asking. You're giving me the freedom to decide what I want. What I want is to keep enjoying our holiday and if something happens then great, if not no big deal. Take as long as you need to figure it out but if I have a chance, let me know." He leans down, kissing her softly. She blushes as he pulls away, making him smile. "You look really cute when you blush." He gives her one more kiss before walking away. She looks over at Bobby, seeing him looking at her again. The woman gains his attention gain, breaking their eye contact. She turns to her drink.

"You're back." She looks up, seeing the bartender from the other night.

"I am. It's Mateo, right?" He smiles and nods.

"Yeah, Roben, right?"

"Mhmm."

"So what brought you back?"

"I needed to let lose a bit and relax."

"Are you here alone or is your friend going to spill another drink in your lap?" She laughs.

"No, he's over there grafting on some other woman. I think I'm safe." 

"Does that mean I can ask for your number?"

"I don't know. I'm going to be pretty busy the next few days, plus I go home on the 15th." He shrugs.

"It gives me a little bit of time to get to know you then."

"Won't you be too tired from working all night?" 

"I manage. So what do you say?" She leans forward just a little bit, letting him have a glimpse at her cleavage. He bites his lip, leaning down on the bar. 

"What are you gonna do to convince me?" She feels someone grab her wrist, dragging her away. She looks up and sees Bobby pulling her away. "What the hell are you doing?" He doesn't answer until they're in a secluded corner.

"What the hell are you doing?" 

"You're one to talk. You just had that girl all over you. You haven't changed a bit."

"You told me you didn't want to be with me so why are you so jealous?" 

"Why are you jealous?"

"Because you know I want to be with you and yet here you are grafting on other lads right in front me. You know how I feel about you. I don't want her, I want you. But you told me you didn't want me so am I just supposed to be single the rest of my life?" She crosses her arms.

"It's not that. We just...we can't be together."

"Why? Why is it so bad for us?" 

"Think about what people are gonna say! I mean, dating my husband's best friend?" 

"Would you stop thinking about what everyone else is going to think? Stop thinking about what they want. What do you want?" She shakes her head.

"We're going in circles. I'm not doing this right now." She turns to walk away before he takes her hand.

"Roben, please." She bit her lip, turning to look at him. He gently tugs her closer to him, looking into her eyes. "Do you remember the first time we slept together?" 

"Now is not the time for an ego boost."

"It's not. Do you remember what it felt like when we kissed? When we held each other? That electricity that makes your heart pound, that makes it hard to think. I've never had that with anyone until you. I know I can't replace him, and I don't want to. But I also know that this could be something great." 

"We can't even stop fighting." 

"Because we've been trying not to feel this way. We're fighting it but the more we fight it the harder it is to not feel this way. But we do and I know that this doesn't happen very often." 

"Bobby." She leans her head against his chest. "We won't work."

"Why not?" He lifts her face to meet his eyes. "Tell me what you feel. Don't tell me what everyone else will say or think. Just tell me what you feel." She looks into his eyes, her heart pounding at their closeness. 

"There's so much I need to say." He leans close, his face inches from her.

"Then tell me what you want to say." _**What the fuck do I say? How do I say it?**_ She runs her hand up his chest, touching his cheek. 

"You're gonna hate me. Soon. I know you will. And then I'll have lost you twice. I don't want to lose both of you. What if we don't work out? We won't even have a chance of being around each other then. I want you around again, but I can't chance losing you completely. What I want and what I can have are not the same thing. That's the biggest reason why we need to stop this." 

"Do you feel the way I do? Do you want me like I want you? Do you think about me the way I do you?" She tries to fight it off, tries to ignore the urge to kiss him, the urge to hold him. The other day plays in her head over and over. _**Maybe we can give this a shot. Maybe it will work out. Maybe we can be together.**_ She closes the distance between them, kissing him softly. His hands hold her close. She wraps her arms around his neck, deepening their kiss. His hands roam her body, setting it on fire. She pulls away, panting. She bites her lip, looking into his eyes. **_This is probably a huge mistake...but it feels so right._** She takes him by his shirt, leading him down a hallway. She leads him into an empty room, locking it before kissing him hard.

"Fuck, why can't I stay away?" She quickly undoes his pants, pulling them down.

"Because I can't keep my hands off you. Especially, when you wear a dress like this." He kisses her, hiking her dress up. He pulls her panties down, she kicks them to the side. He holds one of her legs up, slowly going inside of her. Her grip on his shirt tightened, her moaning loudly. She arches her back, pushing her body into his. He squeezes her thigh hard, driving her crazy. Everything urgent between them, clinging to each other. Kissing, touching, biting, they couldn't get enough of each other.

"Fuck, you're gonna make me come." He thrusts harder and faster, pushing her over the edge. He kisses her to muffle her loud moans. She bit his lip hard, pushing him over the edge. For a second, they cling to each other panting. She looks into his eyes. 

"As much as I'd rather not, we need to go back out there." She nods.

"They might actually figure out we're gone." He smiles, biting his lip.

"The longer we're here the less likely we're leaving." She smiles and puts her leg down. 

"Save it for later."


	7. June 7, 2020

He winces when the light hit his eyes. He opens one eye, looking around. He sees her asleep next to him, making him smile. He moves a strand out of her face, admiring how peaceful she looked. He scoots closer, showering her face with his kisses. She smiles, giggling when she opens her eyes.

"Bobby, I was sleeping." 

"But you looked so cute. I wanted you to be awake so I could do this." He blows a raspberry on her cheek, making her laugh. 

"Stop it!" He smiles at her, looking into her eyes. "What?" He shakes his head.

"I'm just happy." 

"Me too." He saw the look in her eye, frowning. 

"What's wrong?"

"It's just too good to be true." 

"What is?"

"This. Us. Being here with you. I'm scared it won't last." 

"So don't think about it. All we can do is try. Just enjoy the moments we do get together and try to make the most of it." She sighs, propping her head up on her hand.

"I have a feeling things are going to change real soon." He shakes his head.

"No they won't. We're finally together, I'm not letting anything get between us." She looks at him for a long time.

"My kids come today. Are you sure that's something you're ready for?"

"Are you worried about me meeting them?"

"Actually yes."

"Why?"

"Things are going to get really complicated with them in the mix. I don't want them to get hurt. They're still too little to really remember, but I will." He leans down kissing her.

"Stop worrying about stuff that hasn't happened yet. It could always go better than you think." She smiles, pulling him closer. 

"Why are you so optimistic?"

"Because life is too short to worry about stuff that hasn't happened. We have this moment right now and that's what matters." He leans down kissing her, getting on top of her. She chuckles.

"I'm glad Lottie and Gary stayed in your room."

"Me too. It means I can do this." He reaches between her legs, rubbing her. She moans softly, her grip in his hair tightening. He bites his lip, putting his fingers in her. She lifts her hips, pulling him closer. 

"Fuck me. I want to feel you inside me." 

"You don't have to tell me twice." He moves her lower on the bed, kissing her as he gets in between her legs. He grabs a condom from the nightstand, putting it on. She wraps her legs around his waist, biting her lip. He looks into her eyes, slowly entering her. She moans loudly, arching her back.

"Fuck, you feel so good." He takes his time, worshipping every part of her. He figured out everything she liked and didn't like, remembering what brought her closer to him. He couldn't get enough of her, cherishing every moment with her. 

"Fuck, Roben." She looks into his eyes, seeing his adoration, his affection. She felt their connection growing stronger, her feelings growing stronger. She felt it the moment it shifted between them. She saw the vulnerability in his eyes, but he didn't shy away this time. His hand finds hers, clinging to it.

"I'm gonna come, Bobby." He bites his lip.

"Yeah?" She nods, kissing him and biting his lip.

"Make me come." His grip tightens on the sheets next to her shoulder. She digs her nails into his back. 

"Fuck." He kisses down her jaw to her neck, finding the sweet spot he found the night before. She loved when he would bite her gently there, pushing her over the edge. Half way through her come down from her orgasm he came. They cling to each other for a minute. He kisses her softly. "What are you doing to me?" 

"The same thing you're doing to me." His heart pounded in his chest as he looked into her eyes. **_I'm so in love with this girl. Please don't take her away from me._** He kisses her again. **_Don't let this end._**

********

Bobby couldn't stop smiling, thinking about Roben. Gary nudges him.

"So, I take it things are good with you two then?" He nods.

"Aye. Great even." 

"Yeah? Well with the way she was snogging you last night when we walked in, I take it she feels the same way." He chuckles.

"Gary...I'm crazy about this lass."

"Definitely a different tone then a few days ago when you couldn't stop arguing." 

"Ah, that was us just being our stubborn selves. We've always been stubborn." Gary looks at him a minute.

"Bobby, how long have you been in love with her?"

"Thinking about it now, I think I always have been. But she was with Miles so I just ignored it. I guess that's why it threw me off so much the first time we slept together."

"What do you mean?" 

"The day I met her, she had dropped her books at her locker. She looked so mad at herself, I thought it was cute. I went over and helped her pick them up and her cheeks turned red. As soon as our hands touched I just got this funny feeling in my chest. And then I saw her eyes and I couldn't stop staring at them. They were gray, not blue or green but gray. And from that day on I got that weird feeling every time I was with her. And the first time she snogged me it got stronger. I'd gotten used to it over the years so I hadn't paid attention to it anymore. But when it got stronger it scared me. Which is why I didn't talk to her the next day. It scared me so much because it was my best mates wife and I felt guilty for feeling it. But that feeling never went away. And the other day it just clicked that what I felt was love."

"And that didn't scare you?"

"It did...but I cared more about telling her how I felt than being scared. I wanted to know if she felt what I did, it was like I had to know. I may not have been in love before, but I do know this doesn't happen often." Gary smiles at him.

"I never thought I'd see the day you fell for someone. You've talked about her for as long as I've known you...but it's different this time."

"Because I know how she feels now." Gary shakes his head.

"I'm gonna be your best man at the wedding, right?" Bobby laughs.

"We haven't even gotten that far. She's still nervous about me meeting her kids."

"Are you?"

"No, I'm excited. It's a bit weird since their dad was my best mate and now I'm sleeping with their mum and his widow...but I'm excited to meet them." 

"Now that's something I thought I'd never hear you say." He shrugs.

"Things change. Sometimes people change." He smiles, thinking about the way she looked at him. _**God, please don't let this end.**_

********

They walk into the lobby, seeing Roben talking to Chelsea. She turns and sees him, a smile spreading on her face. He loved the look she gave him, making him forget everything else. He runs up to her, picking her up and spinning her. She laughed, holding onto him. He set her down, looking into her eyes, moving hair out of her face.

"I missed you."

"Babe, it's only been like an hour. Maybe two."

"But that's an hour, maybe two, that I couldn't do this." He leans down, kissing her. She sighs, leaning into it. She pulls him closer by his shirt, making him moan. "You drive me crazy." She giggles, biting her lip. Her eyes shimmered when she looked into his.

"You have the same effect on me." She takes his hand taking a deep breath. "But now we need to talk." His smile disappears.

"What's wrong?" She chews on her lip, her hand shaking a little. She leads him outside, towards the others. 

"So, you know my kids are coming today, right?"

"Aye, we've been talking about it for days." She nods.

"Right. But there's something I haven't mentioned yet."

"Okay..."

"They're twins...but not normal twins." He looks at her confused as they make it within feet of the group, but still out of ear shot if they talked low. She stops and looks up at him, her eyes watering.

"Roben...what's wrong?" He puts his hand on her cheek, rubbing it softly. She sighs, shaking her head. 

"No, no, no!" They look over to see two little boys running towards them. One of them runs to her and the other runs to him. 

"Boys! What are you doing here?" She looks up at Chelsea. "I said to keep them in, hun. I wasn't ready for them to come out."

"I tried! But then your mum had to go to the loo so I had to chase them around by myself and they escaped!" The one holding onto her smiled at her.

"Mama!" Bobby looks down at the one holding onto him, frowning. He looks between the two. 

"Roben...I thought they were twins." She chews on her lip, looking at the one in her arms. He had bright red curly hair and bright blue eyes. He kneeled down, looking at the one attached to him. He had dark brown curly hair and amber eyes. He smiled at him.

"Dada." He stared at him for a minute, looking at his face. He recognized his nose, his smile, his eyes. He looked at Roben who wouldn't meet his eyes. He picks up the boy, frowning at her.

"Robena O'Reilly...what were you going to tell me?" She hugs the other little boy, swaying back and forth.

"They're twins but not identical twins. They're superfetation twins. Superfetation twins are twins born on the same day but conceived at two different times."

"What?"

"Remember I said I was pregnant when we slept together the first time?"

"Are you telling me that one of them is Miles's and one of them is mine?" She sniffles, finally looking at him.

"Yes." He looks at the boy in his arms, him completely oblivious to what's happening. 

"How long have you known he was mine?"

"Since he was born."

"And did you ever plan on telling me? Did you ever plan on telling me I had a son?"

"Yes and no. I hadn't decided yet."

"They're 18 months old! You've hidden him from me for the first 18 months of his life! What made you think it was a good idea to hide him?"

"I didn't know how you were going to react. When I left we weren't exactly getting along and I still deemed you as irresponsible so-"

"So you assumed I would be horrible father?"

"Well, I mean. Not entirely just..."

"Just what?" She winced at his tone. 

"Just...I don't know. I wasn't sure it was the best thing for you. You were still sleeping around a lot and going out all the time. He needed someone who could be home to care for him."

"You didn't think I could do that!? You didn't think that maybe I would choose him over that?! You didn't even give me a chance to decide that for myself! How could you do this to me!?" She winces again, tears streaming down her face. Noah walked over.

"Bobby-"

"Shut up, Noah." He looks at him, handing him the boy. "Here." He walks away from everyone else alone, not a glance back. 

******** 

She stood there, clinging to the one in her arms. Soft sobs escaping. Noah put a hand on her shoulder.

"Roben..." She shakes her head, taking her son from him. 

"No. I need to be alone with my kids." She carries them away, one on each hip. Everyone looks around at each other. Gary's deep frown radiating anger. Lottie looks at him worriedly.

"What's wrong?" He glares at her.

"You knew, didn't you?" She just stares at him. "Lottie. You knew he had a son, didn't you?"

"Of course I knew, I live with them."

"And you didn't think he had a right to know? You supported her hiding him from him?"

"It wasn't my call to make. I told her to tell him but she didn't listen. I said before I give an opinion and she makes her own choice." He shakes his head.

"That is bullshit, Lottie!" Hope crosses her arms.

"Hey! Don't yell at her for what Roben decided. She doesn't control her." Carl stands up.

"But you all knew, didn't you? How could you not? He looks just like him and you've all seen Bobby for the past week. You've seen him every day for a week and none of you thought he had a right to know??" Priya raises an eyebrow.

"Since when is it our job to do that? They're her kids. She-" Rahim shakes his head.

"No. One is hers, one is _theirs_. He had a right to know." Rocco shakes his head, running his hand through his hair.

"You all know that wasn't the way to tell him. You knew that wasn't how he should find out he's a father. You lot knew he had a son and not one of you even tried to tell him. Not one of you even dropped a clue he was a father." Marisol frowns at him.

"Because it wasn't our responsibility. It wasn't our choice. It was Roben's. We support her as our mate." Gary stands up.

"So that's your excuse? She's your mate so you thought it would be better to back her up on lying to him and hiding his son instead of doing what was right. Friend or not you knew it was wrong of her to hide him. You knew it was wrong for her to see him every single day and not tell him he had a son. Friend or not you knew it was wrong. And each one of you supported her in being wrong." Lottie stands up angrily.

"It wasn't our choice to say anything!" 

"You chose to support her hiding it! You even helped! You all lied about it too! You made the choice to support it, to hide it!" 

"That is enough! Everyone! Shut up and sit down!" They all look at Noah. Carl turns to him.

"I see you haven't said anything. What's your take?"

"I'm not supporting either until I know all the facts. Right now all we know is she didn't tell him. We don't know everything so we shouldn't be turning against each other. Is tearing this group apart worth us trying to decide who's right and who's wrong? You all should be ashamed of yourselves for going at each other like this. Is that what friends do? Or boyfriends and girlfriends? Friends with benefits, whatever the hell you call yourselves. Is that how this should be handled?" They all look around, still frowning but not saying anything. "Right now, we need to go check on our mates. But we're not all going to who we think is right. We're going to who we think is wrong. So you can hear both sides. So whoever is on Roben's side, check on Bobby. Whoever is on Bobby's side, check on Roben. NOW!" They grudgingly all go inside, splitting off into groups. The girls on one side and the boys on the other. Noah lets out a sigh of frustration. _**There goes the nice relaxing holiday.**_


	8. June 7, 2020-continued

She sits on the ground, trying to play with the boys. She smiles, still sniffling, singing along to one of their music toys playing a nursery rhyme. She focuses everything she can on making them smile. When the song ends she sighs, wiping her face. She sniffles, smiling at each of them.

"No matter what, we have each other. Right? Do you love Mummy?" She leans forward giving them each a kiss. "That's right, Mummy loves her two handsome boys too." 

"Roben?" She looks up to see all the boys standing there, each of them looking at her with sympathy. She looks back at the boys, sitting up straighter.

"What are you lot doing here? I thought you'd be with Bobby." Gary leads them in, sitting on one of the beds.

"Truth be told, Noah made us come here and check on you." She frowns.

"Noah? Why?"

"He said we don't know both sides so we needed to see your side of it." She clears her throat.

"Thank you, but I'm fine. I don't need anyone to sit on my side of this, there is no side. I hid his son and he has a right to hate me. I knew he would, why do you think I tried not to give in? I knew it wouldn't work out. I was wrong, what I did was wrong. I let my own selfish reasons cloud my judgement and I messed up. I made this bed and now I have to lie in it. So no matter what everyone thinks, it doesn't matter. I don't need them deciding if I'm right or wrong, I know I'm wrong. So thank you but you may all go now. I'd like to play with my sons." The boys looked between each other guiltily. Carl clears his throat.

"What were the reasons? Like why were they selfish?" She looks around at them, turning to look at the boys.

"Losing Miles was the hardest thing I've ever had to face. I felt so broken and lost. I had a moment of weakness and slept with his best mate. Which was great, apparently I'd been attracted to him a long time. I just never took the time to think about it because I loved Miles. And then that stuff happened with Bobby and I left. After I found out I was pregnant I was scared and thankful at the same time. Scared I'd be raising two kids alone...but thankful their father was the love of my life. Thankful I now had two pieces of him left to love for the rest of my life." Rocco's eyes softened.

"So you were hurt you only had one piece of him?"

"Sort of. I was disappointed I only had one from him...but mostly ashamed. Not only did I sleep with his best mate, only weeks after he passed away, I now had a kid with him. I had a son with both boys in the pair. So many people always questioned my loyalty to Miles because Bobby and I always hung out, even without him. Yet we always fought against it and swore it was completely platonic. And now I had a kid with both of them. My word was shot to hell." Rahim frowns in confusion.

"So you felt ashamed you went back on your word?"

"Yes." Gary readjust on the bed.

"But what was that stuff about not thinking he'd be a good father? Or thinking he would rather go out and sleep around then care for his kid." She winces.

"Not my finest moment. I really did worry about that. When I had left he was worse than he was now. He was constantly partying, sleeping with anything that walked, barely holding a job down. He was far from ready to be a father. And I hate saying that because it's Bobby. I know deep down he would've loved him but I also know my son didn't need a father who could barely take care of himself. I was married to Miles but I looked after both of them. Sure Bobby was the cleaner of the two but Miles was the most helpful. Every weekend he would stay home and help me clean the flat and finish laundry. Bobby was nowhere to be found when I needed help."

"Really? Bobby? He's so different now."

"True, which is why I feel even more guilty. I knew he was capable of it but I didn't know when he'd be able to do it. I didn't want my sons to be around for the adjustment, things like that effect kids. Even though they're still babies I didn't want to take a chance of them being negatively influenced. I had one son who will never get to meet his father and another son who it was a roll of the dice on what kind of father he would have. Both of them deserve a good father, and at the time he wasn't going to be. I knew he could be but at that moment he wasn't." Carl looks down at the ground.

"So you were just trying to protect your kids?"

"Yes. I'm their mum, it's my job to give them the best possible life I could. I'm sorry I believed at the time he wouldn't have been very helpful. The man he is now would've. But I was scared." Rocco chews on his lip.

"Did you think about telling him before today? Before this trip?"

"A thousand times. I felt bad he didn't know about him. I knew he had a right to know. And I should've told him a long time ago. I should've let him make the choice on what kind of father he wanted to be instead of pinning him as one type. It's possible he could've changed in the 9 months I was pregnant. Which is a win when you're pregnant with twins, by the way." Gary sighs.

"What about during the trip? Did you stop think about it at all before today?"

"I did. I tried to a thousand times. But I was adjusted to being a mum and he wasn't even close to the idea of one day being a father. This was gonna change his entire life and I didn't know what he would do. We're here for another week. He has a week to decide if he wants to be in his son's life or to sign away his rights." Rahim scratches his chin.

"What do you think he's gonna do?"

"I don't know. I hope he chooses to be in his life but I won't force him. He can hate me all he wants, I accept that. But I'd love for him and RJ to have a relationship." Carl frowns.

"RJ?" She smiles.

"It has two meanings. Robert James and Robert Junior. Speaking of which, I guess it's time for proper introductions." She picks up RJ. "This is Robert James McKenzie the Third. RJ for short. This is Bobby's mini." She picks up the other one. "And this one is Miles Brian O'Reilly the second. I usually call him Miles but some call him MJ. He answers to both. This is Miles's mini." She beams down at the boys proudly, kissing each one. Gary smiles.

"Are they like their dad's?" 

"Oh exactly them. I have a mini Bobby and a mini Miles. They were hard to handle as teenagers and I wasn't even related to them. Now I have to raise children versions." The boys all smile at her. "But they also have their sweet sides." She hugs each of them both, them turning to give her baby kisses. She smiles at them, tickling them. Rahim shrugs.

"So can...I hold one?" She smiles at him and nods.

"Yeah, come here." He gets on the ground, sitting beside her. "Which one do you want to hold?"

"Either one. I may not have known Miles but I know you and they're both yours so I don't have a favorite." She puts Miles in his lap, watching him play with him. Carl readjust nervously. 

"Can I ask you some questions about your pregnancy?" 

"Sure."

"So superfetation is when they're conceived at different times, right?"

"Yes. They were about three weeks apart."

"So you were pregnant with Miles's baby and then got pregnant with Bobby's?"

"Yes."

"Isn't that not supposed to happen? I mean your cervix is supposed to be closed to ensure the fetus stays inside and protected."

"Right. In a normal pregnancy they are. For some reason, some way, some how I got pregnant twice. It's very _very_ rare. And it's more common for it to happen when you do IVF but mine was completely natural."

"Do they know why?"

"No. They were completely baffled by it."

"Why wasn't it in the news?"

"They did publish a medical article on it but I made them keep mine and the boys identities a secret. It was anonymous so no one knew it was me." 

"Interesting." She smiles.

"I had a feeling you'd have a lot of questions."

"Well yeah. This is so rare there is almost no logical explanation of this phenomenon. On top of it, you carried them to basically full term. Which rarely happens with twins."

"I know. I was huge and they had to induce me."

"Did you have them naturally?"

"Yup. No epidural either. All natural." He whistles.

"That's, that's commitment." She laughs.

"I guess so. I wanted to feel that pain, because losing Miles hurt in a bad way. But I wanted to feel every emotion, remember every detail of bringing his son into the world."

"Who was with you?"

"My mum and Lottie." Gary raises his eyebrows. "Lottie is my strongest supporter. She's the most important person in my life apart from the boys of course. Without her I wouldn't have made it this far. She helped me since the day I found out I was pregnant. She went to every appointment, every ultrasound, every test. She was there for every midnight feeding, every diaper change, every breakdown from exhaustion. She gave up her life to help me raise these boys. Without her...I would've given up a long time ago." He nods slowly.

"I didn't know she did all that." 

"I'm guessing by your face you shared words then?" He nods. "She tried to get me to tell him since they were born. The day we saw him here at the hotel she tried to convince me and every day since then. She did what she could but I was still the one that had to tell him. I am the one that had his son, that carried his son. It needed to be me to tell him. Do you think he would've reacted any better if she had told him?" 

"Well no."

"Lottie's best quality is loyalty. If you're loyal to her, she's loyal to you. When she decides to care for you she cares for you with everything she has. She loves these boys like her own. If you just see her with them you can't help but smile. It's precious. Tough, witchy Lottie becomes a softy with them." He smiles.

"I can't see that." 

"You will. Don't let my choices get between you two. It was my choice not hers." Rocco frowns.

"Wait a minute. RJ walked right up to Bobby. He even called him dad. How did he know that?" She smiles.

"Bobby didn't know about RJ, but RJ knew about Bobby. Every night when I put the boys to bed I show them a picture of their fathers. They kiss them goodnight and good morning." 

"So you taught him who Bobby was? Before Bobby even knew about him?" She shrugs.

"I'm not heartless. I'm not a monster. Just a mum trying to the best she can for her kids." Gary clears his throat.

"Is it okay if we have a word alone?" She nods. He looks at the other three boys. "Mind giving us a minute, lads? You can come back in a minute to play with the boys." They walk out, leaving them alone. For a minute Gary just watches the boys play.

"What did you want to talk about? I imagine I know, but which part specifically?" He sighs.

"I'm having a hard time understanding it all. I get why and all that...but...this morning you two stayed in bed until you had to leave to go meet your mum and the boys. Last night Lottie and I walked in what looked to be..." He blushes. "More than just sex. The way you two have fought since day one. None of this makes sense."

"What do you mean?"

"You seem to be so in love with him...yet you hid this from him. I guess I just want to know how? How can you love someone yet hide such a big part of their life from them?" She looks down.

"I wish I could say I fully understand it. At first I really did hate him, or was really mad rather than hate. But as time went on I started to really miss him. I wanted to tell him but I was so scared to. I was scared RJ would get hurt, I was scared I would get hurt, I was scared he wasn't ready. Looking back now I guess I wasn't ready, though I don't think until I was forced I would have ever been ready." 

"I just...how can you love someone, look them in the eye and just not tell them?"

"It was hard, I felt guilty every day. Every time he looked at me or every time I said something about them. I wanted to, I swear I did. But I couldn't make the words."

"But do you love him?" She bites her lip, looking down. "Come on, Roben. It's me and you...and the boys. But they can't tell anyone. He's my best mate, I care about him as much as Lottie cares about you. How do you feel about him?"

"I think I do...but that scares me. This is so wrong, it's wrong to want to be with him the way I do. He's..." she shrugs. "I don't know how to describe it. I'm crazy about him...I wish I wasn't but I am. Which is part of the reason why I hate myself so much right now. I wish I knew how I can say I feel so strongly about him yet I couldn't even tell him he had a son. And now he hates me. I had him for one night and I fucked it up so bad."

"You...you don't know that." She sniffles, shaking her head. 

"But I do know that. Did you see the way he looked at me? He definitely hates me now. I've ruined any chance of us working, I tried to tell him we weren't going to last. I tried to fight it so that I didn't feel this way. We had one night of blissful happiness and now...I don't even know if he'll ever talk to me again. Which I don't blame him." 

"What were you hoping to happen when you realized how you felt?"

"Honestly? I hoped we would work out and the four of us would be a family. But that was a love sick teenagers dream. It was stupid to hope for something like that. This whole situation was doomed to fail from the start. From the moment we slept together for the first time." He sighs.

"If you love him that much, talk to him. Hopefully, the girls are getting through to him and making him see your side." She frowns, looking at him.

"The girls are doing what?"

"Noah sent them to check on Bobby, hoping they'd see his side and he'd see yours." She sighs. 

"Can you watch the boys a minute?"

"Why? Where are you going?"

"To get them away from him. He's just going to get more upset and I don't want him taking it out on them. They mean well but they won't know when to stop pushing. We both know you can push him too far."

"I've never taken care of kids, I don't know what to do!"

"Just keep them smiling and make sure they don't die. I'll be back in just a few minutes. I promise." He sighs.

"Okay. Don't be too long. Send the others in when you leave." She smiles, getting up and hugging him.

"Thanks." She runs out, heading towards his room. She walks in, seeing Bobby looking at the girls angrily while they glared at him. "Out. All of you." They look at her confused. Priya shrugs.

"We're just trying to help."

"And I appreciate it but please don't. This isn't everyone's problem, this is between us. We don't need sides, we don't need a vote, we need space to figure this out on our own time. When we're ready." They all look at her. "Now go, drop it and go." Lottie groans and walks out, the others following behind her. She looks at Bobby, sensing he was still furious. She turned, making it to the door before he talks.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" She doesn't turn around.

"Yes."

"Even though you thought I was going to be a horrible dad?" She turns around, looking at the floor. 

"The you you are now, I knew wouldn't be a horrible dad. The you you were when I left would've loved him like he deserved, but he couldn't care for him like he needed. We were both in a bad place, it wouldn't have been fair to raise him with two parents who couldn't stand each other. I didn't want that for him." He shakes his head.

"Did you stop to think about what I would want?"

"I didn't know what you would want."

"And you just decided not to bother to find out?"

"Yes." He finally looks at her.

"For years I was always told I wasn't good enough. And I finally tell you all about that days ago, you assured me that wasn't true. And not only do I find out you were hiding my son from me...but you believed I couldn't be a good enough father. The woman I'm in love with, the woman who is the mother of my son, didn't believe in me." She saw the raw pain in his eyes, making her heartbreak.

"I'm sorry." He shakes his head again.

"No, that's not saving you this time. This time it hurts so much deeper." He turns back around, walking to the window. "Please leave." She turns and walks away without a backward glance, heading back to her room. _**I've hurt him really bad this time, I don't think I can fix this anymore.**_


	9. June 7, 2020-continued pt 2

\

He paces around his room, kicking the bed every few steps. He throws a pillow at the wall.

"Fuck!" 

"Bobby...." he turns to see all the girls standing there. 

"I thought you'd be with Roben downstairs." Lottie shrugs.

"She left after you did."

"So why aren't you with her? You were all in on this secret, right?" They all look down, guilt apparent in their faces. "That's what I fucking thought." He turns away from them, looking out the window. Chelsea sighs.

"We know you're mad at us, and that's okay. We can take it. But try to understand her side of it." 

"Why? Why should I? She hid him from me. On purpose. She knew what she was doing. And she plenty of chances to tell me. Especially the last few days." 

"Yes. But it wasn't to hurt you. It was to protect them."

"Protect them? From me? Why did she think I would hurt them?" Priya shakes her head.

"No. She didn't think you'd do it on purpose. She thought you would do it accidentally. She said when she left Scotland you weren't exactly in the best place. You weren't very responsible and even though you'd love him you wouldn't be able to be the father he needed. She hoped you would some day." He's quiet, still staring out the window. Marisol walks over to him.

"Is it possible she's right about you when she left? She said you went out all the time, had a different girl every night. You could barely take care of yourself." He doesn't reply. "So if you couldn't take care of you, how were you supposed to take care of him?"

"It feels so great to know there isn't one person who thinks that maybe, just maybe, I would've gotten my head out of my ass to be his dad. That I would be so selfish I would only care about what I would be giving up." He turns to look at all of them. "The only person I had on my side was Miles. That's why he was my best mate. And then a few days ago, I thought Roben was too. And then I find out she's been hiding a kid from, making my choice for me, deciding I was going to be a bad father without giving me a chance." Hope shrugs.

"She was only trying to look out for her kids. She had to think about them first. Their lives were literally in her hands. She did the best she could do in a bad situation."

"So having my kid was that bad? The fact they weren't both his was that bad?" He shakes his head. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. Please leave." Lottie sighs.

"Bobby. You can't just lock everyone out."

"I did before, I can do it again."

"Yeah, that worked out so well last time."

"Would you stop!? Stop acting like my feelings in this doesn't matter. I know she did what she thought was best but that doesn't stop it from hurting. The woman I love didn't think I was good enough! That's what it comes down to. I wasn't good enough to fit into her life. I wasn't good enough to trust around _our_ kid. He's _ours_ , not hers. She didn't have a right to decide I wasn't going to be a good dad. Because I would've given anything to be there for him. I would've moved to freaking London where she was if that's what she wanted. I would've done anything just to be there. But I missed finding out what he was going to be, his birth, his first Christmas, his first birthday, his first word, his first step. I missed it all because I was deemed not good enough without even a chance." They're all quiet a moment. Chelsea walks over to him slowly.

"The woman you love? You love her?" He looks down, biting his lip.

"Yes. I do. Very much." He meets her eyes.

"Does she know you love her?"

"Yes. She does." Hope stands next to Chelsea.

"Since when have you loved her? You two treated each other horribly until like three days ago." He looks at her for a long time.

"Isn't it possible I've always loved her but was, again, not good enough? She chose Miles from the start. I never even had a chance. I wasn't bitter about it because he was my best mate and I was happy that he was happy. But then I finally get to hold her, to kiss her, to be the reason she smiles...and then I'm not good enough. Again." Priya shakes her head.

"You're not getting it, Bobby. No one said you weren't good enough. No one said you couldn't love her, or be with her. No one said this has to be like this. At least listen to her, listen to what she has to say. Talk to her, talk this out. Find out exactly what she's thinking and what you're thinking." He shakes his head.

"No, it's over." Lottie frowns, storming over to him.

"So that's it? You're going to give up and back down because you're feelings are hurt? You're not going to fight for this? She means that little to you?"

"What? No! She means so much more to me than I ever thought possible. But now all I can think is if I wasn't good enough then, why am I good enough now? Me loving her doesn't mean we should be together, it's obvious we shouldn't. Sometimes loving someone isn't enough."

"You're just gonna give up and walk away?"

"What else am I going to do?!" 

"When you love someone you fight for them! So that's what you're going to do. You're going to fight for her, for this. Because you love her and she loves you! I saw the way you looked at each other! Stop being so stubborn and go fucking find her! Go find her and your son and love them the way the deserve."

"It's not that easy, Lottie! The one person I'm supposed to count on took me out of the running. She showed me what she really thought of me. She didn't believe in me when she's the one I needed to believe in me the most." They glare at each other, not saying anything else. 

******** 

Gary sits beside him on his bed.

"What are you going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"About everything. What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to go meet my son. I'm going to spend time with him and then we're going to arrange how to make it where I can see him and be in his life. And then I'm going home."

"When?"

"As soon as we figure out a plan." He gets up, walking out. He finds her by the pool with the boys, some of the others playing with them. She looks up at him and sighs. She stands up, taking RJ with her. She hands him to him.

"This is RJ. He loves music. Peekaboo is his favorite game, his favorite food is cupcakes. He loves to laugh and give lovins." 

"Lovins?" She smiles, poking RJ's ribs. 

"RJ, give Daddy some lovins? Give him lovins." RJ lays his head on Bobby's shoulder, patting his back. He sits up giving a baby kiss to his cheek, making Bobby smile. He looks at him, recognizing traces of himself.

"Thanks for that. It was nice getting slobber on my cheek." He tickles his ribs, making him laugh. She gets Miles from Gary.

"This one is Miles Brian O'Reilly. He loves being outside. His favorite game is tag, even though he can barely walk, and his favorite food is cinnamon rolls." She switches kids with him. He looks into Miles's eyes.

"He looks just like him."

"Yes he does. They both do." He smiles at him.

"Hi, it's nice to finally meet you. I'm your dad's best friend." He sits down on the side of the pool, putting both of them in his lap. "So I think it's only right we start this off with a dad joke. I think I'm entitled to it now." Roben watches them together, her eyes stinging with emotion. **_At least they have each other now._**

********

"So then I turn the corner and I see that he had him in a box that he was standing on top of so he couldn't get out. I'm telling you they're just like you two." She looks over at Bobby, seeing him tear a piece of grass into smaller pieces. She sighs. "Bobby..." He doesn't say anything. "Why did you bring me here?"

"We need to come up with a plan. How am I going to see him, how often, how often can I talk to him, how much do I need to send you to help take care of him, stuff like that." Her heart deflates.

"Right. Um, we can start with switching off weekends. Or meet a couple times a week during the day until you feel comfortable keeping him overnight. You can talk to him on the phone everyday if you want to. As for the money it doesn't matter. Whatever you want to send is fine with me. I can try and figure out the numbers so we can go from there."

"Okay." They're quiet a few more minutes. "Am I going to care for both of them?" She looks at him shocked.

"Do...do you want to?" He shrugs.

"Miles doesn't have a dad. Who's gonna be there to help raise him like I'm going to for RJ?" She looks at her hands.

"I guess no one really. But that's a lot to take on at once. They're a big handful." He shrugs.

"It's me and Miles in baby versions. It'll take time but I know I can do it, I'm not completely worthless." 

"I wasn't saying-"

"It's fine. If it's okay with you I'll take care of both of them. He's my best mates son, I promised his dad I'd look out for his family. He's his family too." 

"Okay." 

"You go home the 15th, right?"

"Yes."

"Can I see them on Father's day?"

"Of course."

"Okay." He stands up. "I'll see you then." He starts to walk away.

"Bobby!" He doesn't stop. She catches up, touching his arm. "Bobby, wait a minute!" He stops, looking at her.

"What?"

"What do you mean you'll see me then?"

"I meant the boys."

"Okay, well aren't you gong to see them tomorrow?"

"No, I'm going home." 

"What? Why?"

"Because I need to get shit ready. I've got a lot to do, I'm finally a dad." He starts to walk away again.

"Will you stop doing that?" 

"Doing what?"

"Walking away."

"What do you want from me?"

"I want us to talk."

"We did. We figured out a basic plan to start off with for the boys and now it's done."

"No, about us."

"There is no us, Roben. There's nothing to talk about."

"Yes, there is. What about everything you said this morning and last night? About us being together and working at this to make it work." 

"I don't want to anymore. That was all before I found out you lied to me, hid my kid from me, and then deemed me not good enough...again." She reaches for his hand.

"But Bobby. I-" He pulls his hand away.

"No! Don't 'Bobby' me. It's done, it's over. We're over. We aren't an 'us' anymore. You're you and I'm me. Your mum and I'm dad, that's it." She felt the tears threatening to fall.

"But...you said you wouldn't let anything get between us, that we were going to last, that you wanted us to be together." He looks at her for a long time, his own eyes filling with tears.

"I did say that...before everything happened. When I said that...you were the one who believed in me, supported me, made me feel like I was worth something. I thought you were my person. And now it's changed, you've changed, we've changed. You're a completely different person to me now. I can't be with you now." They just look at each other for a moment, her tears finally falling.

"But this can't be it. It can't be over, we can't be over. This can't be the end." She hugged him, resting her head against his chest. "This can't be over, it can't end." He sniffles, gently removing her arms from around him. He held her hands a moment, looking into her eyes. He wipes some of her tears away, sniffling again. 

"Then how come it is?" She shakes her head, the tears falling faster and faster. He squeezes her hands gently, walking away. He forced himself to keep walking. _**Don't turn around, don't look back. No more looking back.**_

********

He finds the boys with the others at one of the outside lounge areas. He smiles at them.

"There's my boys." Everyone looks at him shocked. Lottie stares at him, confused.

"What?"

"My boys. They're my boys."

"Wait, so...what?" He sighs, putting them in his lap. 

"I told Roben I wanted to take care of both of them. I wanted both of them, Miles doesn't have a dad. Who else is gonna be his dad? Is he gonna have to wait until she meets someone who's willing to be his dad? We don't know when that'll be and he needs someone. So I'm going to take care of him. I'll be his dad." Everyone just stares at him. Gary clears his throat.

"Wait, so...you're going to take responsibility for both of them?"

"Aye. We're gonna meet up every few days so I can see them until I'm comfortable keeping them both overnight. I'm going to call them everyday and send her whatever she needs to help take care of them." Rocco raises his eyebrows.

"Just like that? You're going to raise both of them?"

"Aye. I know a lot of you don't think I can but I know I can." Chelsea sighs.

"Bobby. It's not that-"

"It's fine. I'm used to it." He kisses the boys cheeks. "But I do have some stuff to do. So I'll come back to see them later." He hugs them both, holding onto them for a minute. He sighs, letting Lottie and Priya take them. Gary puts a hand on his shoulder.

"Bobby...what stuff do you have to do?"

"I already told you what. I have to go home." The others start protesting, making him stand up. "Guys! Stop. I'm now a father of twins. I have shit to do and things to get ready. I'll see them on Father's day and I'll call them later tonight, I'll come say goodbye before I leave. But I have shit to do, sorry." He kisses the boys one more time, going inside. Everyone looks at each other. Marisol looks at Gary.

"Is he really going home?" Carl frowns.

"Is he really taking on two kids?" Hope rubs her neck.

"Does this mean him and Roben are really over?" Rahim shakes his head.

"They can't be. This is Roben and Bobby. We've all known they belong together, they knew they belonged together. No, they know they belong together. It can't be over." Gary looks at the boys sadly.

"I think it is. Guys...I think she broke him. Not hurt, broke. Did you hear how defeated he sounded when he said no one thinks he can take care of them? He honestly thinks no one believes in him anymore...she broke him." Chelsea sniffles, trying to fight back tears.

"Wait...so he thinks none of us thinks he can make it? That he isn't good enough? Doesn't he see that we do, that she does?" Gary shakes his head.

"I don't think he does, Chels." Lottie sniffles, trying to hide her tears. Gary rubs her back, she shakes her head.

"This can't be it. It can't be over when it just started. He can't do this, he can't walk away like this. He's gonna come back, right? He's gonna fight for her, right?" Noah shakes his head, sadness in his eyes.

"I don't think he is. I think he's done fighting. Gary's right...he's broken. And I don't think we can fix him." They look around at each other, reality settling in. Noah sniffles. "It's over."


	10. June 21, 2020

He opens the door and smiles.

"There's my boys!" He kneels down, hugging them when they came to him. "I missed you." He tickles them both, making them laugh. Gary walks out of his room, smiling.

"There they are!" Bobby stands up, looking at her.

"Thanks for letting me see them." 

"Of course, not a problem. Um, they have something for you." He looks at her confused. She reaches in the diaper bag, pulling out a small present. "Come here boys." She hands it to them. "Give it to Daddy." He takes the present, smiling at them. 

"Thank you." He opens it, pulling out a book. A picture of the boys on the cover. "What's this?" 

"Open it and find out." He opens it, flipping through the pictures. She stands next to him, pointing out the pictures. "Those are when they took their first steps. And those are when they crawled for the first time. Their first time having cupcakes. Their first birthday. Their first Christmas. This is the ultrasound when I found out it was twins. And this is the ultrasound where I found out they were boys. Um, this is the day they were born. Their first picture together." At the end of the book the page read:

 _"Happy first Father's Day. We may have just met but we've loved you since the beginning. Hope you enjoy our first Father's Day as much as we will. Love, RJ and MJ."_ He sniffles, smiling. 

"This is their first Father's Day?" She nods.

"You get to share this first. I hope you like it." He wipes his eyes.

"I love it." He hugs her, taking her by surprise at the embrace. Gary smiles at them, kneeling down when the boys walk over. Bobby pulls back, clearing his throat. "Anyway, um, thank you." 

"You're welcome." She sits down on the couch, smiling as Bobby and Gary chase the boys around. 

********

He sits on the floor, building blocks with them. Someone knocks on the door, interrupting. Gary meets his eyes, both of them looking confused.

"Are you expecting anyone else?" Bobby shakes his head.

"No. Who I expected is already here." Gary answers the door, smiling. The whole group from their trip pile in.

"Happy Father's Day!!" Bobby smiles.

"What are you lot doing here?" Chelsea flips her hair.

"Celebrating your first Father's Day together, duh!" She walks over, hugging him. They all take turns giving him their greeting. Lottie nudges him.

"So did you get anything special?" He smiles, picking up the book.

"I got a book of all their first." The girls aww, making the boys smile. They pass the book around, smiling. Chelsea waves her hand over her eyes to stop from crying when she read the last page. 

"That is adorable! So sweet!" He smiles, glancing at Roben. 

"Yeah, it is." Rocco goes to the counter, opening the box he brought. 

"So I can't bake, but we bought you a cake!" Bobby laughs.

"You guys didn't have to. You didn't have to do any of this." Hope shrugs. 

"We thought this should be a day we celebrate together. It's your first and we wanted to be here for it."

"But why?" Carl walks over to him.

"Because we want you to know we support you. We know you're a great dad and we're sorry if we made you feel like we didn't think you would be." He smiles at all of them.

"Thanks, guys. That really means a lot." 

********

He looks around smiling at everyone. He loved watching the boys playing with everyone, watching them smile and laugh. Rahim nudges him.

"You look happy."

"I am. All my mates are here, I get to spend the day with my boys. I got a great gift." He hears Roben laugh, looking over at her. His smile falters a little.

"But you don't quite have everything." He clears his throat.

"I have everything I could want. Great mates and two beautiful boys. I'm happy." Rahim sighs.

"Bobby...why are you fighting this? You two are great together." He shakes his head.

"I just can't move past it. I can't stop thinking about her thinking I wouldn't have been a good dad or hiding it from me. It hurts."

"She was just-"

"Trying to do right by the boys. I know. I get that part...it's just...dinnae ken. Things just...felt different with her. I thought she was different than anyone else. I thought she thought better of me than that." He shrugs. "But she just thought what everyone else did too. Even my own mum."

"What?"

"When I told her about RJ she didn't think I knew this was going to be hard. She didn't think I could do it. I haven't talked to her since then."

"Maybe she was just worried."

"Nah, she's always been like that. She's always said things like that about everything. She never really encouraged me growing up." 

"Now that makes sense."

"What?"

"You literally grew up being told you couldn't do anything."

"It's whatever. It's in the past, I've got the boys to focus on now." Another knock on the door makes everyone freeze. Bobby goes to answer the door, freezing when he opens it. "Mum??? Dad??? What the hell are you doing here?" His mom frowns at him.

"Don't greet us like that. A simple 'hello' would've been better. You haven't been answering our calls and we wanted to wish you a happy Father's Day." He rubs his face.

"You can't just show up like this though." She pushes past him. His dad shrugs and gives him a hug.

"You know how she is." His mom waves her hand dismissively. 

"Ah, get off it. Where's my grandson??" She sees everyone there, pausing. "Oh, you're having a party? For Father's Day? You really had to go this far." He sighs, leaning against the wall.

"I didn't set this up. They did." Everyone exchanges looks with each other.

"So what, taking care of your child calls for a big party? You really need all that fuss?" He chews his lip, looking down.

"No, Mum. I don't. I had nothing to do with this, I didn't ask for any of this." His dad sighs.

"Dear..." She sees Roben across the room, a smile spreading.

"Is that Roben???? Oh my! Hi there!!! Come here and give me a hug!!!!" She runs over to Roben, who's eyes are still wide. Bobby quickly walks over to them, his mom already engulfing her in a hug. 

"Mum, now isn't a good time. Why don't I call you later?"

"Oh, posh. How have you been?" Roben just stares at her, glancing at Bobby. He clears his throat, trying to guide her away.

"Why don't we just-" 

"Dada!" RJ runs up to him, making him smile. He picks him up.

"Look, here he is. Let's go over here." Miles runs up to him too, hugging him. His mom frowns at Miles.

"Who's this?" Roben walks over, picking him up and backing away. His mom smiles at her. "Oh, is this your little one??" She nods, not saying anything. Bobby tries to move his mom away again. 

"Mum...."

"What's his name? Where's his father? He looks an awful lot like...oh." Her face softens. "It's Miles's, isn't it?" She doesn't say anything, she just nods. "Oh dear, I had no idea. His mum never said anything about him." She looks down, hugging him closer.

"I, uh-" RJ reaches for Roben.

"Mama." His mum frowns, looking between RJ and Roben.

"What was that? Did he just call you Mum? But Bobby said it was someone we hadn't met." Silence engulfs the entire room. Roben takes RJ on her other hip, clearing her throat. His mom glares at Roben. "Wait, are you telling me you slept together? When? The last time you saw each other was right after Miles died. How is this even possible? They look like they're the same age."

"Well, I, uh-" Bobby steps in front of her.

"It's my fault. I took advantage of the fact that she was mourning. She was drunk, I wasn't. It was all me." His mom transfers her glare to him.

"Excuse me? You took advantage of this poor girl mourning? I know I taught you better than that. It's just like you to only think of yourself." He bites his lip, looking down. "You always do things like this. When will you learn?" Roben looks between them, frowning. She hands the kids to Gary and Lottie, standing in front of Bobby.

"That is enough. He's covering for me, I wasn't drunk and he didn't take advantage. I snogged him first." 

"Lass, stop. It's fine. I-"

"No, it's not. How dare you talk to him like that. He is a wonderful father and a great person. I never realized how critical you were." He takes her hand, pulling her back to him. 

"Roben." His mom rolls her eyes.

"So you just move on to the next best thing? Miles dies and you get with his best friend." Bobby sees the hurt on Roben's face, frowning. He looks at his mom, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

"Get out." She looks at him surprised.

"What?"

"Get out. Leave. Now. You're not gonna treat her like that." His dad steps forward.

"Bobby-" He looks at him, holding his hand up.

"No. Don't even say anything. Keep standing in the corner and watch like you always have." He looks back at his mom. "I think it's best you go." She looks at him a long time, glancing at the boys before walking out. His dad followed behind quietly. When the door shuts, he stands in front of her. He puts a hand on her arm. "Are you alright?" She nods.

"I'm fine. Really. I expected to hear that at some point." He sighs.

"I swear I didn't know she was coming. Otherwise I wouldn't have been home." She smiles.

"I know, it's okay." She clears her throat, going and taking Miles from Gary. "Anyway, we still have some celebrating to do." He smiles at her, taking RJ from Lottie. 

"I guess we do." Everyone slowly starts mingling again, finding a spot in the living room to sit. Marisol looks over at Bobby.

"Hey, Bobby. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"Has your mum always been like that?" He meets Roben's eyes, looking back at Marisol.

"Aye." Hope rubs Carl's back as she sits in his lap.

"So...what are you going to do if she asks to meet RJ?"

"Tell her no until she can respect Roben. And accept Miles too. She doesn't deserve to know either of them if she's gonna favor RJ and treat Roben like that." Roben smiles at him. Rocco clears his throat.

"So, uh, your dad never stepped in?"

"No, not really. He just lets her run all over him. Every time he tried she'd shut him down and he let her." Lottie picks at her nails.

"So you grew up listening to that?"

"Yeah. I mean, she was still a good mum. She cared for me and stuff, she's just really critical." He readjust Miles in his lap. "But this is depressing sooooo, let's move on." 

********

Roben helps Gary and Bobby clean up after everyone leaves. She stops, looking over at Bobby.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For not giving you a chance. Not believing you were ready. I should've remembered about how your mum was." He sighs, looking down at the empty plates in his hands.

"It's fine."

"No it's not. I knew you were always being told you weren't good enough and I just made it worse. I didn't give you a chance to prove to be a good father."

"It's okay. I know it wasn't personal." 

"It was dumb and selfish though. I was just so scared. I was scared that I wouldn't be a good mum and I knew me. I mean I knew you too but like it was me. You know? You were good enough, you are good enough. You're a great dad and a great man." He looks into her eyes. "I meant everything I said during that 'intervention' they did. I meant everything I told you after that. I wasn't saying it just to say it. I really do feel that way." Gary looks between them, watching for his reaction. He clears his throat.

"I need to go take this trash out." He grabs the trash bags, walking out. She just looks down. Gary saw the look on her face, making his heart ache for her pain. He walks over, pulling her in for a hug.

"He just needs time. He's still hurting." She nods, hugging him back.

"I know. I just want him to know I do love him."

"He knows that. And he loves you too but he just has to work through some things." She nods, picking up one of the boys. 

"I know."


	11. October 20, 2020

Roben looks over herself in the mirror one more time. Chelsea smiles at her.

"You look hot!! Could you be dressing up for someone maybe?" She blushes.

"This is just as much for me as anything else." 

"Uh huh. Let's go then." They kiss the boys goodbye, heading out the door. They walk into the pub, spotting the others at a table in the back. Bobby notices them walking over first, doing a double take. He stared their whole way over to the table. She smiles at him, turning to the others. 

"I see everyone is here now." Bobby clears his throat.

"Um, actually not everyone. I have a someone who's meeting us here."

"Oh. Well should we wait on him?" He looks over at the door, smiling.

"Actually she's here." Roben looks over at the door, seeing a short girl with long blonde curly hair. He walks up to her, kissing her. Roben looked away quickly, trying to fight back the tears threatening to fall. Everyone looked over at Bobby, back to Roben. Lottie frowns.

"What a dick." She looks over at Gary. "Did you know?" He shakes his head.

"I swear I didn't." Bobby leads the girl over by the hand. 

"Everyone, this is Jace. Jace this is everyone. There's Gary, Lottie, Hope, Priya, Marisol, Noah, Carl, Rocco, Chelsea, Rahim. And this is Roben." Jace turns and smiles at Roben.

"You're RJ and Miles's mum, right? They're so cute." She frowns at her.

"Uh, what?" 

"They did the cutest thing last time I saw them. RJ-"

"I'm sorry, I must be hearing things. The last time what?" She turns to Bobby. "Um, since when is it okay to start bringing strange women around my children without talking to me first?" He frowns.

"Since they're my kids too."

"You can't just veto me and bring them around someone new like that without talking to me. How would you feel if I did that with a guy?"

"I would trust he wasn't a creep since you let him meet the boys. You're careful on who you bring around them, so am I."

"How long have you two been seeing each other?"

"A month. Why?" 

"You've only known her a month and you let her around my kids?" Jace looks between them nervously.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" Roben holds up a finger.

"Please leave this between us." Jace raises her eyebrows, but says nothing. 

"Roben." She looks back at him.

"You know what? I need to go. Now isn't the time for this conversation. One of the boys wasn't feeling good anyway."

"Which one? Is he okay?"

"Why not ask your girlfriend since she knows so much about my kids?" She walks out fuming. Bobby turns to Jace.

"I'm sorry about that. She's really nice I promise. She's just really protective." Jace smiles.

"It's okay. I understand. I'm sorry I started a fight between you two." 

"It's fine. We'll be fine." He turns to the others. "Anyway..." They're all staring at him, Gary and Lottie sitting back in their seats. They both had their arms crossed, frowning at him. "What?" They just shake their heads, getting up and leaving. "What's with them?" Hope shakes her head.

"You really have no clue?"

"Not really. Care to fill me in?" Noah shakes his head.

"Um, you just blind sided Roben with your girlfriend. You blind sided everyone. You kept her a secret for a month and on top of it you introduced her to the boys, behind everyone's back, without Roben's permission. It's a given rule to always ask the other parent if it's okay to introduce someone you're dating to your kids. What I want to know is why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would you think it's okay to just bring her around the boys without asking first? Why would you blind side Roben with a relationship when she is clearly still waiting for you? Why would you not be with her after everything? Why would you let someone as amazing as she is slip through your fingers for some other girl? No offence, I'm sure you're great too." She nods, slowly.

"Some offence taken." Bobby sighs.

"Look, Roben and I aren't happening. I told her it wasn't going to happen. I not once told her to wait because I have no intention of trying that again. If she's so great why not you date her?" Noah shakes his head.

"I think I need to go too. I just-if you don't get it then I-there's nothing for me to do. I'll see you lot later. It was nice meeting you, Jace." He grabs his jacket, walking away. Priya looks around.

"Sorry, I can't deal with this right now. I'm gonna go." She stands up, Rahim following her. Bobby frowns.

"You too?"

"Hey, my lady and I are a team. Where she goes, I go." She smiles, taking his hand as they walk out together. Bobby turns to everyone else.

"Anyone else? Anymore of my mates gonna walk off? Are we going to act like adults now?" The others look at each other. Marisol stands, holding her hand out to Jace.

"It's nice to meet you. Sorry about all that, we're still adjusting to such a big group. We're pretty tightknit." She smiles, shaking her hand. 

********

He chases Jace to the door, catching her just before she gets to it.

"I told you I'd catch you." She smiles.

"I almost won though."

"Almost winning is a nice way of saying losing." 

"Damn, don't hesitate to consider my feelings." He smiles, kissing her softly.

"I'm sorry, babe. You're right, you almost won. How about I give you your prize anyway?" She wraps her arms around his neck, biting her lip.

"What kind of prize is going to be?" He kisses her, pushing her against the door. She moans softly. "I like this prize." He smiles, leading her inside. Lottie and Gary sit on the couch, both of them have their arms crossed and glaring at him. 

"What?" Jace sighs.

"Look, I'm gonna go. I'll talk to you later." He turns to her, taking her hand.

"Please don't." He puts a hand on her cheek, resting his forehead against hers. "Please stay. Stay with me." She smiles sadly.

"You have some stuff to figure out. I'll call you tomorrow, I promise." She kisses him, leaving him standing there. He sighs, turning to them. He didn't even look angry. 

"Come on, let's get it over with." He sits down on a bar stool. "Well, come on. Tell me off. Go ahead." Lottie and Gary look at each other, their anger fading. Gary sighs.

"Why did you hide her from us?"

"Because you're always going on about me and Roben when there isn't even a me and Roben. The only time I talk to her is about the boys. The only time I hang out with her is around you lot."

"Because we've seen you two together and it just makes sense. You have two kids together and you are just...perfect for each other." Lottie nods.

"Exactly. We know you're perfect for each other."

"No, we're not. Whatever we had is gone, it's done. I moved on. And I moved on to an actual relationship this time. I really like Jace. She's funny, smart, caring, ambitious. The boys love her. I think you could too if you would actually give her a chance. I really like her. And she makes me feel important and cared for. She's never once made me feel anything less than good enough. It...it feels different with her." 

"So you don't love Roben anymore?"

"Not like I did. I love her as the mother of my kids. As my mate. But I don't love her like that anymore. I don't want to be with her, I want to be with Jace." Lottie looks at Gary, hurt flashing in her face. She looks back at Bobby.

"You...you don't love her anymore?" He shakes his head. "Have you told her any of this?"

"Why would I? You really want me to call her up just to tell her I don't love her? Isn't that cruel? I know you guys wanted us to work out, but we didn't. I know you want us to be together, but I don't want to be with her. I'm sorry it hurts her that I moved on, I really am. But I can't live my life making decisions to keep you happy. I need to do what makes me happy. And Jace is what makes me happy. Will you at least give her a chance? It's not fair to punish her because it's not what you wanted. She is really great if you just give her a chance." Gary shrugs.

"Alright, we'll give her a chance. I'm sorry about everything, it's just been hard watching you two. We want you to be happy too and if Jace is who makes you happy than you need to be with her." Bobby smiles.

"Thank you. She really does make me happy. I really like her, a lot." Lottie and Gary share a look. "What?"

"Nothing."

********

She answers the door in her pajamas.

"What are you doing her, Noah?" 

"I had to check on you."

"I'm fine. He is free to make his own choices. He can do whatever he wants with whoever he wants." He sighs.

"Roben...it's me. I know you so much better than that. Stop with tough act." She looks at him a long time. She shakes her head, sniffling.

"No, I'm just stupid is all. I just feel really stupid. I didn't read any of the signs." A lump forms in her throat, stopping her form talking. He pulls her into a hug, her finally letting it go. She sobs on chest, hating herself for getting so invested. He rubs her back.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." After a minute he looks down at her. "Are the boys asleep?" She nods.

"Yeah, I put them to bed when I got home." He rubs her back.

"Okay. Good. I was worried they needed you for a minute." She pulls back.

"Since you're here, you want to come in for a drink?"

"I need to drive so just one." She nods, letting him in behind her. He sits down in the couch after she brings them each a glass of wine.

"I just feel so stupid. I thought he cared about me. I thought he loved me. We haven't exactly talked about us but he never wants to. He always just changes the subject. I thought he just wasn't ready. Now I find out he's been dating this girl for a month. And he let her meet the boys before even letting me meet her. Does he hate me that much?"

"He doesn't hate you. I honestly don't know why he would not tell you any of this. But I do think you need to clear the air. I mean you do share kids with each other." She shrugs.

"I mean yeah. I just...don't know why he wouldn't just talk to me. If he wanted to move on fine. But he could've at least told me. I've been focusing on raising our kids, thinking he was doing the same thing. He's been seeing this girl for a month. They've probably already slept together if he let her meet the boys."

"I hate to say it, but I think they have. Regardless, you two need to figure this out." She groans.

"I'm just so stupid. I've wasted months on him when he wasn't even giving me a second thought. I'm so stupid." 

"You're not stupid. You're just loyal, which isn't a bad thing. And he's stupid for not being with you." 

"You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"I'm really, really not." She smiles, suspicion lingering. 

"You're not here to try and be my rebound are you?" He chuckles.

"As tempting as that is, no. I couldn't stop thinking about the look you had on your face. I have this need to make people feel better. I would've actually not been able to sleep because I was worried about you." 

"That's sweet of you. So...how is she?"

"Uh, I don't know. I left before I talked to her."

"Why?" 

"I'm pretty upset with how he handled everything. I want him to be happy and everything, but he went about it all wrong."

"How do you think he should have handled it?"

"He should have talked to you to let you know he was dating. Then he should have at least asked for your permission to let her meet the boys. It would have been better to let you meet her first though. You have this crazy super power of knowing who's a good person and who's not." She shrugs.

"That does sound better than him inviting her out with us, telling no one he was seeing her, snogging her in front of me, get upset with me for being mad that she's met the kids." She sighs. "I'm so pathetic."

"You are not. You're just loyal. And you love him. You were just waiting for him to figure this all out, we all were. We wanted you two to be together too. Which is why half the table left after you did."

"Really? Who?"

"Lottie and Gary left almost immediately. Then I left. Then Rahim texted me that they left. They actually wanted to hang out, I told them I was coming to check on you. By the way, Priya says she loves you and she'll be here tomorrow with Rahim to take you and the boys out somewhere." She smiles.

"At least I have such amazing mates. You lot accept me and my boys as a package deal. You always include them." He smiles.

"They're really cute too though. Sometimes I hang out with you just to see them." She throws a pillow at him.

"Noah!" He laughs.

"I'm kidding! You know I like hanging out with you too. You're pretty cool I guess." She smiles.

"You're rude. You're not invited tomorrow."

"So meet you lot here? Got it." She laughs.

"Dork." He shrugs.

"I've accepted it at this point. It's part of my charm." She shakes her head. _**What am I going to do with you, Noah?**_


	12. December 5, 2020

"What movie do you wanna watch?" 

"Ummmm........honestly, I don't know." She smiles.

"You're the worst!" 

"I don't like making decisions like that!" She rolls her eyes.

"Fine. The Notebook it is." 

"You chose that because my name is Noah, didn't you?" She winks at him.

"Maybe." He throws a piece of popcorn at her.

"And I'm the bad one?" She shrugs.

"You'll be okay." 

"You're rude." She sticks her tongue out. She looks at her phone.

"Carl and Hope said they can't make it. So it looks like it's just us. I guess that'll have to do."

"Damn, maybe I should just go home then." He stands up, heading towards the door. 

"No!" She jumps up, beating him to the key holder and taking his keys. He smiles at her.

"Give me my keys." She shakes her head.

"Nope, you can't leave." He tries to grab them out of her hand, she sticks it behind her back. "Nope, I win." 

"I'm gonna get those keys." She laughs, taking off running.

"You'll have to catch me first!" He chases her around the house, circling the couch, finally catching her by the dining room table. He grabs her by the waist from behind. "No!" She laughs again, wiggling out of his grasp. She turns and looks at him, sticking her tongue out. He shakes his head at her, smiling. He quickly grabs her by the waist, reaching behind her. She holds onto his keys tightly, making him laugh. 

"Come on! Give me my keys." 

"What am I gonna get in return?"

"Mmm, what do you want?" She looks into his eyes, blushing. She glances at his lips, biting her own. 

"A kiss." He stares at her for a minute.

"Really?" She nods.

"Kiss me, Noah." He leans down, kissing her gently. She wraps her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. His hand finds her hair, tangling in it. She moans softly, holding him as close as possible. He pulls back, looking into her eyes. She runs her hands under shirt, running them across his body. She pulls his shirt over his head, rubbing her hands down his chest. She takes his hand, leading him to her room. She stands on her tippy toes, her lips inches away from his. "Make love to me." He kisses her, her hands running over his chest. He pulls off her shirt, looking into her eyes. She pulls her jeans down, tossing them aside. He stares at her in her bra and panties, seeing all the curves in her body. He kisses her, picking her up. He lays her down, getting on top of her. He takes his time exploring her body, slowly removing the rest of her clothes. She removes his jeans, biting her lip. 

"Do you want to stop?" She shakes her head. 

"No, I'm just nervous."

"We can slow down." She smiles, sitting up on her knees. She wraps her arms around his neck.

"I think we've gone as slow as we can."

"I just don't want you to feel rushed or pressured." She kisses him, guiding him on top of her.

"Noah, make love to me." She kisses him again, biting his lip. He positions himself between her legs, looking into her eyes. She kisses him as he slowly enters her, making her gasp softly. He starts slowly, taking his time. Her skin tingled every spot he kissed, intoxicating her senses. Their desire for each other grew, their need for each other becoming intense. He found a spot on her shoulder that pushed her over the edge when he kissed it, when he nibbled it. She clung to him, enjoying every new feeling he gave her.

********

They laid in front of the fireplace, a blanket over them. He had his arm over her, her back snuggled into him. He props up on his arm.

"Roben?"

"Yeah?"

"What was Miles like?" She turns and looks at him, a smile spreading. 

"You want to hear me talk about my late husband?"

"He was a big part of your life, right? And he's little Miles's dad." 

"True.....okay. What do you want to know?"

"How did you meet?" 

"My version of it is on my first day I was walking through school, trying to find one of my classes, when I heard someone yell. I looked over and saw Miles rubbing his head. He saw me looking and started blushing. It turns out he had dropped something and was picking it up when he hit his head on his locker door." He smiles.

"So who has a different version?" 

"Miles. If you had asked him he would tell you that he saw a goddess walking by him and got distracted. He dropped his books in awe of my beauty and hit his head when he couldn't stop staring. He was always a bit dramatic though."

"I don't know, that sounds right to me." She rolls her eyes. "So you, him and Bobby were really close?"

"Oh yeah. Miles was my first love, he was my first everything really. Bobby was our closest mate. He was our best person at our wedding. There were no bridesmaids or groomsmen, just Bobby. He even went dress shopping with me."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he was my best mate as much as he was Miles's. I guess that why it got so complicated between us."

"Do you miss him being your best mate?"

"Sometimes. Sometimes I wish we could go back to how we were before we slept together."

"Only sometimes?"

"I mean, us sleeping together did give me RJ."

"Good point. Do you think you ever will?"

"I hope so. I don't like us fighting all the time, especially since we have the boys now. But I think it's going to take time for us to get past all this."

"I hope you two can be mates again. I miss all of us hanging out together."

"I'm sorry I've made it hard the past couple months."

"Don't be. It did give me a whole lot of time to spend with you." She smiles.

"I'm starting to wonder if you like me." He laughs.

"I mean, I might just a little bit." 

"Only a little bit? What if I do this?" She scoots closer, kissing his neck.

"It helps a tiny bit." She puts her leg over his side, marking his neck. She looks up at him, biting her lip. "I think I need just a little more convincing." She looks into his eyes, reaching between them. He smiles, kissing her again.

********

"Hellooooo." Lottie raises her eyebrows.

"Why are you answering the phone like you're drunk or high?" Roben laughs.

"I'm neither, just really happy." 

"Why are you so happy?" 

"I have a boyfriend." Lottie chokes on her water, Gary patting her back.

"You have a what now?"

"A boyfriend???" Gary's head snaps up.

"She has a what???"

"Who is it?"

"Noah. Things finally happened with us." Lottie meets Gary's eyes.

"Give me one sec, babes." She mutes it, looking at Gary. "I need you to listen to this so I know I'm not crazy."

"Okay...." She unmutes it, putting it on speaker.

"Sorry, had to reply to a text. Anyway, you were saying."

"Things finally happened with Noah." Gary's jaw dropped.

"What do you mean? Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"I mean, I won't go into details. But we had sex for the first time. Or the first three times." Lottie raises her eyebrows, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"How was it? Is he-"

"He's very gifted. In a lot of ways." She smiles.

"Way to go, Ro." Gary gives her a look, making her blush. "Wait, so does this mean you're over Bobby?" She's quiet for a minute.

"I think so. I'm done wasting my time hanging on to what we had, I'm done hoping he comes back to me, I'm done asking for forgiveness. I lost myself trying to be with him and I'm done with it. Noah makes me feel like me again."

"So you're not in love with Bobby anymore?"

"It doesn't matter if I am or not. We're over and I'm moving on. He moved on. I'm not hanging onto the past anymore. I'm not gonna drown myself in what I lost. It sucks and it stings a little still, but it's in the past. Even when it comes to Miles."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't feel broken anymore. Ever since I lost him, I felt like I was missing part of me. I don't feel like that anymore. I still miss him and I still love him, but I think he would be happy that I'm happy. I don't feel ashamed of caring for Noah, I feel like maybe Miles brought us together."

"Really? How?"

"Because of Spain. I used to think that Miles brought me and Bobby together. But I think I went through everything I did with Bobby, to get to Noah. Miles played a big part in me and Bobby so maybe he had a role in me being with Noah." Lottie looks sadly at Gary, he takes her hand.

"I'm really happy you're happy, Ro. I'm happy Noah makes you so happy." 

"Thanks, hun."

"Where is Noah now?"

"He's asleep in my room. I came to the living room when I saw you calling. What did you call about by the way?"

"Uh, I forgot." She smiles. "I got distracted by this Noah thing." Roben laughs.

"Goofball. Well, let me know if you remember it." Lottie smiles.

"I will, babes. Love you."

"I love you too, hun. Night, Lozza."

"Night, Ro." She hangs up, looking at Gary. "Gary...they're never getting back together, are they?"

"I don't think they are, love."

"But...they're perfect for each other." He shrugs.

"Sometimes fate has different plans."

"What do you mean?"

"They might be perfect for each other, but that doesn't mean they're actually meant to be together." 

"But...the way that...he looked at her."

"I know."

"Do you think he's really over her? Do you think he really doesn't love her anymore?" 

"I think he does. But he's buried it because it hurt to love her. I think that was his way of dealing with what happened."

"So if he does then why won't he be with her?"

"I think he's scared. I think he's convinced himself she doesn't deem him good enough. He still thinks she's hung up on Miles. Which we now know she's not, and had he been the one that was patient he would be the one she was gushing about. But he let her go and now he's gonna have to watch someone else take his place."

"Do you think he's gonna hate Noah?"

"I hope not. Our group is broken enough. We can only either see Bobby or Roben, never both."

"How do you think he's gonna feel about them being together with the boys?"

"Honestly, that may be why he hates him if he does. He'll see the boys a lot more than he does. He'll get to be there to raise them every day." She sighs.

"I was really rooting for them. We all were. Everyone in the group knows they belong together, sure they fight a lot. But the way they look at each other, the love you feel when you see them snog or hug or even hold hands. I thought they could make it."

"Me too, love." He pulls her in for a hug, kissing her head. "Me too."

********

Bobby stands there outside the door, unable to move. _**She's with Noah now? Why? How? She doesn't love me anymore? Does she love him then?**_ He shakes his head, knocking. Gary calls out.

"Come in." He opens the door. "What's up?"

"Uh, I need to go do something, can you listen for the boys?" Gary frowns.

"Are you alright, mate?" He nods.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just need to go do something." Gary meets Lottie's eyes.

"Okay. Yeah, we'll listen for them." He forces a smile.

"Thanks, mate. See you soon." He walks out of their place as quick as he could. He texts Jace as soon as he gets in the car.

_"Can't make it. I'll call you tomorrow."_

_"Okay. I love you."_

_"I love you too."_ He puts down his phone, staring at the steering wheel with a frown. He starts the car, driving away. He sits down at the bar, not noticing the bartender that came over.

"You look like you've had a rough night." He looks up, greeted by her piercing green eyes. 

"Uh, yeah. I guess so." 

"What do you want?"

"Anything strong." She nods slowly.

"Okay." She hands him a glass of amber liquid. He stares at it for a long time, lost in thought. She raises her eyebrows. "You know, this is the time when someone drinks it." He looks up.

"What?" She sighs, leaning on the bar.

"Wanna talk about it? Bartenders are the best therapist." He looks at her for a long time.

"It's really complicated."

"I have all night." He looks down at the glass, tapping his thumb against the side of the glass. 

"I lost my best mate Miles, in 2018. I slept with his widow, who was also my best mate, and we caught feelings but didn't want to admit it so she left. She ended up being pregnant...she hid my kids from me until six months ago. They turn 2 in a few days."

"Why did she not tell you?"

"She said she was worried I wasn't ready to be a dad. She said she knew I would love them, but she wasn't sure I could take care of them like they needed."

"Okay, so what did you do?"

"I couldn't get over it, so I moved on. I guess she was still waiting for me because when she met my girlfriend it was like something switched in her. She was cold towards me, she wouldn't talk about anything except the boys, she wouldn't accept my apology, she didn't want to hear none of it. Up until now I was mad she was acting like this. Why couldn't she be happy that I was happy? Because it was with someone else?"

"Well, she was obviously still very in love with you. Did you tell her you were moving on?"

"Well, no. I didn't think I needed to."

"Well that explains why she was cold towards you. She was loyal to you and she had no clue you were done. She thought she was waiting for you to heal and then out of nowhere you moved on. You blind sided her." He rubs his neck. "So what exactly has you confused?"

"I just found out she's dating one of my mates. I don't know how to feel about it. I heard her talking to a mutual mate of ours. She said she was done waiting for me, she was done holding on to what we had. She said she used to think that Miles had brought us together...but now she thinks that he brought her and her new boyfriend together. She said she doesn't feel broken anymore. She feels happy again." She looks at him for a long time. "I heard the mate she was talking to say...that if I had been patient with her that I could've been the one she wanted like she wants him. I could be the one home with her right now, I'd be the one to spend every day with her and our kids. And I can't stop thinking what if he's right? Is that even something I would want? I used to see her as the person I wanted with me through everything, and I loved her so much. But then things got complicated. And I thought I was over her but hearing she doesn't love me anymore...it hurts." She pats his arm.

"You obviously still have some sort of feelings towards her. And I'm always one to root for people who have such a connection...but not this time. You slept together when she was far from ready. She let you in and you left when it got hard. I know the kid thing is kind of messed up, but based on her reasons it's clear she didn't do it because she wanted to hurt you. As a mum you have to do whatever it takes to give them their best shot. And you have a right to be hurt about it but you're using it as an excuse. You wouldn't even tell her you wanted to move on...and I think it was because you weren't ready to admit it yet. And now that she's moved on you realize how much you still care about her."

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying let her go. Let her be happy. She's not broken anymore, she's finally happy. After two years of pain she wakes up with a smile. Let her be happy, even if you have to let her go." He sniffles, taking a sip of his drink. "You missed your chance, mate. When she loved you you walked away and now you have to let her go and watch some other guy be what you wanted to be. And maybe don't be stubborn anymore." He smiles.

"Thanks." He rubs his face. "I think I need to go home before I do something stupid." He stands up, paying her. "Thanks, sorry I didn't catch your name."

"Maizie." He smiles, shaking her outstretched hand. 

"Nice to meet you, Maizie. I'm Bobby." She smiles.

"Nice to meet you too." 


	13. December 25, 2020

She groans, holding him closer.

"I don't wanna get up." He smiles.

"We need to, babe. We need to get started on dinner." She sighs.

"I know..."

"And....I might have gotten you a present." She opens one eye, making him laugh. "I thought that might work. You have to get up though." She smiles and sits up.

"I hate how you know me so well." He shrugs, kissing her cheek.

"Deal with it. Now let's go." He leads her by the hand to the living room. She spots a tiny box tucked under the tree. He hands it too her, making her smile.

"What did you get me?"

"Open it and find out." She carefully unwraps the paper, seeing a jewelry box. She opens it gasping. Inside was a silver heart pendant on a chain with a diamond covered crescent moon. In the heart the twin's birthday was engraved. She looks up at him. 

"Noah, it's beautiful. It's so sweet." He shrugs.

"It looked like something you'd wear." She smile, throwing her arms around him. 

"I love it." She kisses him, her heart pounding.

"I love you." She stares at him for a long time.

"Did you say you loved me?" 

"I want to try and cover that up...but yes. I know we've only been an official couple a few weeks, but I've been falling more and more in love with you the past few months. You don't have to say it back, but I wanted you to know that I love you." She looks into his eyes and smiles.

"I love you too." He kisses her, holding her close. She holds out the necklace to him. "Help me put it on?" She turns around, holding her hair up. She touches it, facing him again. "I'm so lucky to have you." He holds her close, looking into her eyes. 

"I'm the lucky one." A knock on the door makes her smile. 

"That must be Chelsea! She comes over on Christmas morning to cook breakfast." He wraps his arms around her from behind.

"She can wait a little longer, right?" She rolls her eyes, walking to the door with him still hanging on her.

"No, it's freezing outside." She opens the door, Noah still hanging on her, her smile disappearing. Bobby stands there with the boys. He looks over her, seeing her in her underwear and Noah's shirt. He looks between Noah and her, seeing the necklace around her neck. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to have them until Christmas dinner." He clears his throat.

"They were asking for you. Plus I need to go do something." 

"Do what?"

"I need to go take care of something back home." She frowns.

"Is it your family? Are they okay?" He shakes his head.

"Nah, they're fine. I just need to go do something." He hands her the boys, turning around quickly. She watches him walk away, remembering the look on his face. She sighs and brings the boys in. She sits next to Noah, watching the boys tear open their presents. She pushed the image of Bobby's face far out of her mind, refusing to waste time thinking about him. 

********

He walks in, shutting the door. Gary and Lottie watch him take his jacket off. 

"What?"

"You look upset. I thought you were going to spend the morning together." He shakes his head.

"No, my mum called. I need to go home for a bit." Gary frowns.

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's fine. I just need to go home." Lottie's face softens.

"He was there wasn't he?" He bites his lip.

"Noah? Aye. But that's not it, it's fine." 

"Bobby..." He shakes his head.

"I'm fine with it. She's happy, right?" Neither of them say anything. "She doesn't feel broken anymore. I couldn't heal her, he could. He's who she needs and that's fine. I walked away, I moved on. I have a great girlfriend that I really care about. We're both in our own happy relationships. That's what matters." Lottie stands up.

"I'm gonna go take a shower." She walks away, leaving them alone. Gary looks at Bobby, not saying anything.

"What?"

"Come on, mate. It's me, you can talk to me. Lottie took a shower last night before bed, she's just giving us space." He shakes his head.

"I don't want to go there."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to say it out loud."

"Say what?" He sighs, looking out the window.

"That I regret letting her go." Gary's face softens.

"Bobby...what changed your mind? A couple weeks ago you were adamant that you didn't want to be with her."

"Because I was still hurt. I didn't want to deal with it. And now seeing her with someone else...it hurts. Knowing she doesn't love me anymore..." 

"Do you still love her?"

"Of course I do. I mean, this is Roben. I've been crazy about her forever."

"You said you didn't feel that way anymore. Once she heard that she moved on, what did you want her to do?"

"When did she hear that?"

"She asked Lottie if she should move on. We were trying to be supportive of you so she said yes. You said you wanted Jace and didn't feel like that towards her anymore so we told her to move on." He nods, sniffling.

"To be fair, I thought I was." 

"What brought this on, mate? You weren't happy about them but you weren't like this before." He leans against the counter.

"She answered the door in his shirt. He had his arms around her and she had the biggest smile. She was also sporting a new necklace and what looks like hickies on her neck." He felt his eyes stinging, the image of her answering the door replaying in his head. Each time it replayed in his mind his heart ached a little bit more. "I'm so fucking stupid."

"Are you gonna tell her any of this?"

"No. Absolutely not. And no one else will either."

"Why not? Maybe she feels the same way."

"I doubt it. She's happy for the first time in a long time. Genuinely happy. I don't want to mess it up. They're good together, he's great with the boys. I know he'll take care of them the way they deserve, he'll take care of her the way she deserves. If I tell her, I'll mess it all up for her. I can't mess her up anymore than I already have."

"So, what, are you just going to let yourself suffer? You're going to keep seeing Jace and pretend you're not in love with Roben still?"

"Pretty much. Jace is amazing, I really care about her, we have amazing chemistry. Roben is happy with someone else and I have no one to blame but myself. She deserves to be happy." He walks into his room, packing his bag.

********

Priya walks over, putting her arm around Roben's shoulders.

"So I heard you got a pretty present this morning." She smiles and shows her present.

"I did. Isn't it beautiful?" 

"Is that the boys birthday? Aww, that's so sweet." She beams at her.

"I know! I have a pretty cool boyfriend."

"I only get pretty cool?" She feels his arms wrap around her waist, making her smile. She looks at him.

"Alright, how about okay?"

"Just okay? I'll tickle you, don't make me."

"No! Okay, you're an awesome boyfriend." 

"That's better." He kisses her. "I love you."

"I love you too." He kisses her again. 

"I'm gonna go check on dinner. Even though your mum told me to stay out of her kitchen...even though it's your kitchen." She smiles.

"Mum can be like that. Just be careful and don't go within an arms reach." 

"Thanks for the tip after she swatted my hand."

"Sorry, babe. Shoulda asked." He kisses her cheek, walking away. She bites her lip, watching him walk away. Priya clears her throat. 

"Did you two just use the L-word?" She blushes, picking up RJ who just came up to her.

"Yes, we did." 

"Didn't you two just start dating?"

"It's how we feel. And we've only been an official couple for a few weeks, but we've been developing feelings for months." 

"Hun, you don't have to explain anything to me. You're cute together. Rahim and I have been using the L-word for a while now." Roben smiles at her.

"Thanks, babes." 

"So where's Bobby? I thought he was going to come. Are you two fighting again?" 

"No, but when he dropped them off I was in my underwear and Noah's shirt. I wasn't expecting him yet otherwise I would have worn clothes." Priya winces.

"Ooh, what a greeting, aye?" She sighs.

"Tell me about it. He dropped them off and said he had to go home. I feel bad though, this was supposed to be his first Christmas with the boys." 

"So go to Scotland."

"What?" 

"Go home with him and spend it with the boys."

"But my in-laws are there and they don't know I had kids."

"They have to find out some time, right? And Bobby will be there. Even though you two aren't exactly mates right now he'll still stand up for you like he did with his own mum." She thinks a minute, looking at RJ.

"Go see Auntie Priya a minute, I need to go do something." Priya smiles.

"That's my girl." 

********

Bobby stands by the window, watching the snow fall. He feels a hand on his shoulder, turning to see his mum. She frowns up at him.

"You look upset."

"Nah, I'm fine." She looks at him for a long time.

"Why did you come home today?"

"What, I can't come visit my family on Christmas?"

"Considering it was your first Christmas with you-know-who, no." She glances at Miles's mom, Janice, whispering to him. "You should be in England with your family." He raises his eyebrows. She notices, rolling her eyes. "She's your family too, no matter what's going on. She is their mother, together or not the four of you are a family." He chews on his lip, looking down. "That's why you came, isn't it? Bobby, look at me." He looks into her eyes, seeing softness in them.

"I think I messed up, but I can't fix it. I realized way too late that I messed up and I'm having trouble dealing with it." She puts a hand on his cheek.

"Nothing is ever unfixable. Sometimes it leaves marks as a reminder of your mistake, but it's never unfixable."

"It is this time, Mum. I can't break her anymore than I have." 

"Bobby!" His dad calls for him to follow him. He follows him to the door, walking out. He stops when he sees her standing there with the boys.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's your first Christmas with them. I didn't want you to miss out on it." She sighs, sniffling. "Bobby, I'm scared." He walks over, picking up RJ. He holds his hand out, looking into her eyes.

"I am too, but that's okay. We're in this together, right?" She nods, taking his hand. "No matter what they say I'm gonna be right beside you. I'll be with you the entire time and we'll do this together, as a family." She smiles and nods, sniffling. He leads them inside, he grip tightening on his hand. His mom runs over smiling as she throws her arms around both of them. She kisses the boys on the cheek, then kissing Roben's cheek. 

"Best Christmas present ever." Roben smiles at her, looking into her eyes.

"Thought it was about time for a visit."

"And I'm very glad you did." 

"Robena?" They look up to see Miles's family looking at them. His mom, Janice, steps forward. "Roben? Is that really you?" Roben gives her a faint smile, nodding.

"Yeah, it's good to see you, Mum." Janice sniffles, wiping her eyes. 

"What are you doing here? What's going on? Who are they?" She points to the twins, making her grip on Bobby's hand tighten. He clears his throat.

"Why don't we go sit down, it's been a long flight." He leads everyone into the living room, never letting her hand go. They sit down on the couch together, the boys crawling into their laps. Miles's dad, Arthur, clears his throat.

"So, how have you been? Why didn't you tell us you were coming home?" Miles's brother, Jason, frowns as he looks at the boys.

"Who's are these? That one looks like you but that one looks like..." Roben meets Bobby's eyes, he gives her an encouraging smile. She takes a deep breath, looking at Miles's family.

"I was pregnant when I left. Miles was the father and I didn't know I was pregnant when I left." Janice smiles.

"So this one is his?" Roben nods. "What's his name?"

"Miles Brian O'Reilly the second. We just call him Miles though."

"Can I see him?" She looks at Bobby, worry in her eyes. He squeezes her hand gently, nodding. She looks back at Janice, letting him out of her lap. 

"Do you wanna go see Nana Jan?" He shakes his head, crawling into Bobby's lap.

"I want Daddy." Bobby holds him close, a boy in each arm. They both cuddle into him, making him smile. He looks up to see Miles's family frowning at him. Jason crosses his arms.

"Did he just call you Daddy?"

"Aye...." Arthur rubs his neck.

"Wait, what the hell is going on?" Roben sighs, looking back at Bobby.

"Bobby and I slept together after Miles died, it got really complicated afterwards so I left. Long story short, when the boys were born I found out one was Miles's and one was Bobby's. That's why I didn't come home. Bobby didn't know about either boys until we ran into each other on holiday over the summer. When he found out about them he took on the roll of being a father to both of them so that Miles didn't have to grow up without a father figure. He still knows Miles and that Miles is his dad too." She smiles at Bobby. "He's been a really good dad to both of them." He smiles back at her.

"Look, I promised Miles I would look after his family. His son is included in his family and I don't plan on erasing Miles from his mind, I'm just the bonus dad. He still knows he has another dad, we still plan on raising him so he knows Miles is why he's here. We were just grieving and trying to comfort each other, we've already said that it wasn't the best way to do things. But we did and all we can do is move forward." Roben rubs Bobby's arm comfortingly.

"I'm sorry I ran away instead of telling all of you all of this, I was just so scared." Bobby's mom takes Roben's hand.

"What matters is our family has grown. We've gained two grandsons at once and that's the best present anyone can ask for." Roben smiles, squeezing her hand back.

"So you love them both?"

"Absolutely." Arthur and Janice look at each other a moment, smiles spreading across their faces. Roben leans her head against Bobby's shoulder, her nerves finally relaxing. Bobby looks at the boys.

"Boys, wanna meet the rest of the family? This is Papa Art, Nana Jan and Uncle Jason.


	14. December 27, 2020

"Lass! Record us going down the hill together." She giggles, pulling her phone out

"Let me run down to the bottom first. I'll wave when I'm ready. Hold on to them tight." She quickly gets into position, pressing the record button. She smiles and signals them for take off, narrating the video. "Here's the boys very first sled ride. Look at them go! It looks like Daddy's having as much fun as them. Here they are!" Her heart swells at the sight of the three of them laughing together, bringing tears to her eyes. She looked at each of them carefully, seeing how much RJ is starting to resemble Bobby. She looks over at Miles, noticing how much he was starting to look like his namesake. **_He would so love to be here right now, he would love to watch the three of them together...he wanted this so badly. Him and Bobby would probably be racing right now._** Bobby looks up, noticing the sadness in her eyes.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" She sniffles and nods.

"Yeah, of course. I was just lost in thought." She dabs the corner of her eye, his expression softening. He gets up with the boys, whispering in their ears. Before she could react the three of them tackle her into the snow with hugs and kisses, making her laugh. "Okay, okay! I'm fine, I promise! No more tears." She meets Bobby's eyes, the honey gold colors swirling with emotions. Her breath catches for a minute as he gazes into her eyes.

"I was thinking about him earlier. I think he'd be really happy to see all of this."

"He always talked about the two of you raising your kids together. I don't think he ever had me being both their mum in mind though."

"We joked about it once. About being a thrupple." She gasped.

"No way."

"I'm serious, just once though. He said since I couldn't find a good woman you'd have to be my surrogate. He even said we'd make pretty babies." She swats his arm.

"I swear, you two. What was I ever gonna do with both of you?"

"Love us." She raises her eyebrows, making him blush. He sits up, shaking the snow out of his hair. "Right, Mummy's turn." She looks at him for a minute, unsure of how to answer his previous statement. "Come on, your turn with the boys. I'll record it." She reluctantly gets up, taking her turn with the boys. As she helps them stand up and dust off, she looks over to see two women talking to Bobby. They look over at her, squealing. She forces a smile and slowly makes her way to them, holding the boy's hands. The blonde with blue eyes smiles at her.

"Is that Robena!!!!" She chuckles nervously.

"Yeah, hi. It's been so long..." The one red hair and green eyes hugs her quickly.

"It's been forever! How are you?? Sierra was just telling Bobby we were wondering what happened to you." Sierra nods.

"Yeah, Rachel was asking him if he found you."

"Found me?"

"Yeah, because you left so suddenly. We thought maybe he left to find you or something." She raises her eyebrows and meets Bobby's eyes, he shrugs giving her a confused look. He clears his throat.

"Uh, no. I actually left to just get a change of pace." Rachel raises her eyebrows.

"Oh, really? Well, it was awfully lucky you two showed back up at the same time. Just like old times...well...almost like old times." Sierra swats Rachel arm.

"Rach!"

"What? I didn't mean it in a bad way."

"You sound so rude. Be sensitive." 

"Mummy." Miles pulls on Roben's hand, gaining her attention. Sierra and Rachel look down at him, smiling. Sierra waves at him.

"And who is this handsome boy?" Roben clears her throat.

"Uh, this is Miles...Junior." Rachel gasps softly.

"Ohh....so is this his son?" Roben nods.

"Yeah, it is. I found out I was pregnant after I left." The girls aww, putting their hands on their hearts. Sierra sticks her lip out.

"You've been raising him all alone?" 

"Well, I've had a lot of help." They look down at RJ clinging to her leg. 

"And who is this little guy?" 

"This is RJ...my other son." They both frown.

"Who's his dad? He doesn't look like...Miles. Actually he looks a lot like..." RJ walks over to Bobby, letting him pick him up. The girls look between Roben and Bobby. Bobby clears his throat.

"This is actually my son..." They give them a confused look. Rachel looks back at Roben.

"Wait...so you two are a couple? Is he from a previous relationship or is he actually yours? Are you two married now?" Bobby sighs.

"No, we're not married or a couple. We're both his biological parents, it's a bit complicated." Sierra raises her eyebrows.

"Woah, did not see that coming." Rachel frowns.

"I thought you were supposed to be his best mate, how did this happen?" Roben sighs.

"Look, it was lovely seeing you two but we do actually need to get them home for a nap. So we'll have to finish this another time. Hope to catch up soon!" She picks up Miles, giving them a sweet smile. Bobby puts his hand on her back, leading her away. After they're out of ear shot he steals a glance at her.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? This is a really complicated thing, not everyone can get it. Especially, when it's Sierra and Rachel." He chuckles.

"They were the ditsy ones of our class." 

"You don't even know the half of it. I once went to a sleepover at Sierra's flat...only went once. It was miserable." He laughs.

"That bad?"

"Yup. Constant squealing and gossip...talk about headache." He smiles at her.

"I could see that. I never understood why you talked to them, they had dirt on literally everyone. Even each other." She shrugs.

"They were nice enough to share notes with, just not exactly become best mates with them. That's why I hung out with you and Miles most of the time." 

"Well, me because I was Miles best mate so you were stuck with me."

"And what about when Miles wasn't there?"

"Sympathy." She laughs.

"Sympathy friends? Don't think that's how that works, hun. You were my friend too, that's why you went dress shopping with me." 

"Hey, you said you'd never bring that up again!"

"Sorry, I forgot! I won't...I promise." He looks over at her, noticing her pink nose and rosy cheeks. She sees him staring and nudges him. "Stop being weird." He rolls his eyes.

"You're rude."

********

"Jace, I swear nothing is happening."

"You just decided to run off with your ex and have a nice little family vacation for no reason?"

"I didn't plan any of this. I didn't know she was coming! I swear."

"It doesn't look like it. Sledding, presents, family pictures. I mean come on, Bobby. Why won't you just tell me what's really going on?"

"There's nothing going on, that's why! She came here on her own, I didn't ask her to come. We're doing all that because she's here, we might as well make the most of it."

"Right, okay."

"I'm serious. Why can't you just trust me?"

"Because it's obvious you're in love with her and I don't like being lied to."

"You know what, I'm gonna go. I'll call you later." He hangs up, rubbing his face. "Fuck me."

"Thanks, but I's rather drink some hot chocolate." He turns to see Roben shutting the back door with her foot, balancing two colorful mugs. 

"What are you doing out here?"

"You looked cold so I made hot chocolate. Not like yours, of course." He smiles, taking a mug carefully from her.

"That's sweet. Thanks." She shrugs, trying to hide her blush.

"No biggie. So that sounded like a fun conversation." He winces.

"How much did you hear?"

"Enough to know she's mad about me being here." He sighs, sitting down on one of the chairs.

"She's....difficult sometimes."

"I'm sorry I'm causing problems between you two."

"Ah, it's not your fault."

"Technically, it is. I mean, you're fighting about me."

"Well, yeah. But we'll work through it somehow, we always do. You're just as important to me as she is, I'm not gonna just drop you."

"And I appreciate that. Still...I guess I did make a bad impression."

"Well...." He shrugs, making her smile. 

"Don't be modest. I could've handled it better."

"I wouldn't worry too much about it anymore, we're past all that now."

"Not completely...I guess I should apologize to her. I wasn't exactly nice to her."

"She gets it, I kind of just dumped it on you." 

"But I definitely could have handled it better. How about I make it up to you two?"

"How?"

"Come to my New Year's Eve party. Bring Jace with you, come hang out and have fun."

"What about the boys?"

"My mum can take them for the night. Come on, it'll be fun."

"Dinnae ken, lass...."

"You're coming. I've decided. You're coming and you better bring her with you."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely." He sighs.

"Alright, we'll be there."

"Good." For a minute they sit silently as they sip their drinks. "Hey, Bobby?"

"Aye."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Did you have feelings for me when you started dating Jace?" He looks down at the cup in his hands.

"Aye."

"Why didn't you tell me you were seeing other people?"

"I didn't really plan on it, it kind of just happened. I met her at work and it went from there. But I didn't warn you because I didn't think I needed to tell you my personal life. Not in a malicious way, I just still hadn't really grasped how our lives our tied together now." She nods slowly.

"Makes sense." He looks up at her, seeing her staring at her cup. She swirls a marshmallow around with her finger, not noticing him. "I'm sorry I hid him from you..."

"I know you are."

"I wasn't trying to be hurtful."

"I know you weren't." For a minute neither of them say anything. She clears her throat quietly.

"I miss you. As my best friend. I miss you...." She finally meets his eyes, her gray eyes making his heart pound.

"I miss you too, lass." **_In more ways than I care to admit._**

"Why did you really come here?" He thinks for a long moment before replying.

"It was hard seeing you and Noah the way you were. I'm still fine with you two and I'm happy for you, I just hadn't quite thought about him staying the night or you two...being together. It kind of took me by surprise."

"If I knew it was you I would've changed."

"I know." 

"I'm sorry about that." He shrugs.

"I guess we're even now." She smiles at him.

"I guess we are. So what do you say we start over?"

"I think that sounds like a great idea."

"Friends?"

"Friends." Her smile widens.

"Good." He chuckles.

"We'll get the hang of this one day."

"We kind of have to."

"True." She sighs, looking out at the back yard. 

"When do we go home?"

"Here soon. Probably another day or two. Depends when Mum and Janice is gonna be able to let the boys go."

"That'll be never, we'll have to literally pull them apart." He laughs, nodding.

"True, they'd never let go if we didn't make them."

"Good thing we're Mum and Dad then."


	15. December 31, 2020

She runs around perfecting the finishing touches. Chelsea raises her eyebrows.

"Uh, Roben. You look crazy right now." Roben stops and glares at her.

"Thanks for the support, Chels."

"What's got you so...squirrely?" She stops, staring at the air in front of her.

"I invited Bobby...and Jace." Chelsea stares at her.

"And you thought that was a good idea...why????"

"Because it's time we stop dividing the group. I'm really happy with Noah and he's happy with Jace. We need to get over this weird shit and just act like adults. We share two kids together and a whole group of mates. We have to get through this." She sighs.

"But it still doesn't seem like the right time...I mean you two still have a lot of negative feelings around your whole situation."

"I don't think it'll ever stop until we work through it. We have to face it head on. We can't keep ignoring it."

"Okay...you can pull me aside any time tonight. Just an fyi." She smiles.

"Thanks, Chels." She walks up to her, hugging her. "How did I get so lucky to have such a good bra?"

"You went shopping at the good store, duh. Oh! You mean me!" She laughs, rolling her eyes.

"You don't even recognize your own metaphor."

"Hey, I say so many words of wisdom it's hard to keep track of." She laughs again, hugging her again.

"God, I love you." 

********

Marisol and Hope walk in, Rocco and Carl behind them. Hope waves at Roben.

"There's my girl!" She runs over, hugging them.

"I'm so happy you made it!!" Marisol hugs her.

"I was so hoping you would throw a party, you throw the best parties."

"Uh, duh. It's tradition. Priya and Rahim are over there." She hugs Rocco and Carl. "I'm so glad you lads could make it!!" They smile at her, Carl squeezes her arm.

"We're excited too, we've heard a lot about your New Years parties." She flips her hair.

"I don't like to brag but I do throw a bomb ass party." Lottie walks over, putting an arm on her shoulder.

"You really do. You should start a business."

"Hell no, that's too much work." Lottie smiles.

"I mean yeah but you could get hella paid."

"True...but I'm not trying to get any gray hairs before I'm 40." She feels strong arms wrap around her waist.

"No matter what you'd still like beautiful." She smiles, looking up at him.

"You're just saying that cause you wanna get lucky." He shrugs.

"Can you blame me for trying?" He points to Carl and Rocco. "Right? I'm just being a guy." They nod in agreement, Rocco smiling.

"He has a point, Roben. We all do it." She rolls her eyes, smiling.

"Alright, alright. Play your cards right and we'll see." Lottie leans over towards Marisol.

"Good thing the boys aren't home then." Roben blushes, swatting her arm. She laughs, blocking it. "Hey! You're the one that can't be quiet." Noah shrugs.

"I take that as a compliment." She swats him, making him laugh.

"Men! I swear."

********

Jace stops just outside the door, he frowns.

"What's wrong?"

"Are you sure this is a good idea? Last time we saw each other she really didn't like me." He takes her hands, looking into her eyes.

"It'll be fine. She specifically said I better bring you with me. If we're going to make this co-parent relationship work we have to get past this. Besides, she has a boyfriend now."

"It just feels like it's going to get weird." He kisses her cheek.

"I promise, babe, it's going to be fine." She takes a deep breath.

"Okay." He smiles, leading her inside. A huge crowd fills the room. 

"I did not know she knew this many people, wow."

"She does have a life." He looks at her sternly. "Sorry, I'll behave. I promise." He smiles, kissing her hand.

"You better." He looks around, looking for some familiar faces. He spots Rahim standing with Chelsea and Carl by one of the snack tables. He walks over to them, all of them smiling at them. Chelsea hugs him and Jace.

"You made it! Yay!" Rahim smacks his hand, giving Jace a side hug.

"Long time, no see." He shrugs.

"Been busy. I went home for a few days." Carl puts his cup down.

"How'd that go by the way? Roben went with the boys, didn't she?"

"Yeah, she did." Jace's hand tightens in his. "It went good, they didn't disown any of us so I think we're good. She was really nervous they were gonna hate her." Carl shakes his head.

"Roben is so lovely though, you can't hate her. No one hates her." Jace shrugs.

"Well-" Bobby nudges her arm. "Ow. What?" He gives her a stern look, turning back to the others. 

"My mum actually behaved too. She didn't say one negative thing while we were there." Rahim raises his eyebrows.

"Really? Not one?"

"Nope, not one. She played with both boys too. She was more worried about Miles's folks though. They didn't even care what happened. They were just happy to have a piece of him left." Chelsea points at him.

"That reminds me! Did you two finish talking about that last wish thing?" He blushes, clearing his throat.

"Uh, no. Probably not a good idea." Jace frowns.

"What last wish thing?" Chelsea, being oblivious, smiles at Jace.

"Oh, it's so wild. So obviously you know about Miles, Roben's late husband. Turns out he told his mum that he wanted Bobby and Roben to end up together. He said they-" Carl puts his arm around Chelsea, guiding her away.

"Hey, Chels! Let's go over here!" Jace crosses her arms, glaring at him.

"And I didn't know about this because...?" Rahim clears his throat.

"You know, I see my beautiful girlfriend and I haven't given her a compliment yet....so....I'm gonna go." He pats Bobby's shoulder as he walks bye, whispering in his ear. "Good luck, mate." He sighs and looks at her.

"I was gonna bring it up...at some point."

"Why did you not tell me before?"

"Because I really want you two to get along."

"I told you, she was really disrespectful to me and hasn't apologized. I'll be cordial for you but otherwise, we won't be mates."

"Jace, you know it's been a really hard and emotional few months for us. We're still trying to figure this whole thing out. She was just caught off guard, which is my fault. I didn't prepare anyone and just threw this on them."

"You don't have to tell her your personal life."

"I kind of do when it involves the boys. She was right about that, I should've respected her better than that."

"Why is her opinion so important? Why is it so important we get along so much?"

"Because we have kids together. If you can't respect the mother of my kids, how is this going to work? We don't plan on splitting major holidays. Birthdays and holidays we want to spend together as a family."

"A family? You're hardly a family! She's your ex one night stand, Miles isn't yours-"

"That's enough. Do not talk about my son like that. I didn't make him but he's still my son. She wasn't a one night stand and she's the mother of my _kids_. I need a partner who understands why it's important to us that our family stays a family. Rather we're together or not we both love our kids and don't want them to feel like they have to choose sides. If you don't start trying to understand that, we won't work." She sighs.

"You're right, I'm sorry." She wraps her arms around his neck, kissing his nose. "I just get so protective of you. I don't wanna lose you." He smiles at her.

"And that's cute and all, but talking down about the mother of my kids and telling me one of them isn't mine isn't going to work in your favor." 

"I know, I'm sorry." He kisses her.

"I forgive you...this time." She smiles.

"Good." She stops, frowning slightly.

"What?"

"Is this Billie Eilish?" He listens a minute.

"Yeah, Ocean Eyes." She smiles.

"I love this song." She pulls him into the middle of the crowd, making him dance with her. The next song comes on, making her frown. "She has some random taste in music." He listens to the song, smiling.

"She really does...it is a good song though." She smiles.

"Eh, Gnash is okay. Kind of a depressing song."

"It's a love song...a bit sad but you know. Most love songs are." She shrugs.

"You have a point." She holds him close, resting her head on his shoulder. He hears her laugh and looks up, seeing her smiling in Noah's arms. She wore a short white dress with silver glitter all over it. Her tattoos on her thighs just barely hidden. Her curly brown hair perfectly cascading down her back. She leans her head on his shoulder, looking over and meeting his eyes. The words from the music resonating around them, telling each other what they wanted to say. He read the emotions in her eyes, his heart aching to make her feel better. When the song ended Noah said something that made her smile and look away from him. He watches them kiss, forcing himself to look away. From the side Priya and Rahim watch their exchange. They look at each other sadly. She looks into his eyes.

"Did you see that?" He nods.

"Yeah, I saw it. Talk about timing."

"They both looked so hurt...they didn't look away from each other the whole song." He sighs, looking over at them again. They focused on their partners, ignoring each other. 

"I wish they would stop fighting it."

"It's like the saddest love story ever...like the Notebook." He nods.

"It is. They're hurting themselves more without realizing it. They think they're helping each other by being apart."

"But they're meant for each other."

"I know." Priya looks over at Hope and Carl, seeing them talking as they glance over at Bobby and Roben. She takes Rahim's hand. 

"Come on." She takes Hope's hand, motioning for Carl to follow. They sit outside, turning on the heater. "You saw that too?" Hope nods.

"It was heart breaking." Carl takes her hand, kissing it. 

"I swear every word in that song is what they want to tell each other." Priya groans.

"They need to stop this. We know they belong together, they know they belong together." Rahim sits forward.

"Maybe...we need another intervention." Hope raises her eyebrows.

"But they're both seeing other people. And they both dropped the L-word with them." Carl shrugs.

"They're not the right people though. They belong together, not with them."

"But you want to break up to couples who are happy to bring them together. They do fight and break up a lot." Priya sighs.

"This is just pitiful."

"Ugh, I know!" They look up and see Marisol, Rocco, Lottie and Gary coming outside too. Hope looks at them.

"You saw it too!" Marisol nods.

"Chelsea did too. She's fixing her makeup in the bathroom, she actually cried." Priya sits in Rahim's lap.

"I almost did too. God, it's so...heartbreaking." Rocco shakes his head sadly.

"I never thought that was a real feeling before. Like how can you hate and love someone." Marisol shrugs.

"Or hate that you love them." Gary takes Lottie's hand.

"Love is like that sometimes. Mostly when you fight it like they do." Marisol runs her hands through her hair.

"They're breaking their own hearts." Carl shrugs.

"I guess they don't see it." Hope rolls her eyes.

"You think they would. They practically told each other all of that." Chelsea comes outside, still sniffling.

"You guys! That was literally the saddest thing ever." They all shout in agreement, all talking at once. 

"Oi! What the hell is going on?" They look up and see Bobby standing there. Chelsea looks behind him.

"Where's Jace?"

"She went to the loo, why?" 

"Good. We were just talking about y-" Marisol puts her hand on Chelsea's mouth.

"Yellow stars. We were trying to name all the yellow stars we know." Rahim shrugs.

"The sun? That's a star right?" They all murmur in agreement, Bobby frowns at them.

"Right, okay. Uh, when did we all get into astronomy?" 

"What now?" He turns and sees Roben coming out, almost bumping into him. "Oh shit. My bad." She takes a step back, looking into his eyes. He clears his throat.

"It's, uh, it's fine."

"Um, I'm glad you and Jace could make it. Is she having fun?"

"Yeah, yeah. She's having a great time."

"What about you? Are you okay?" Lottie raises her eyebrows, looking around the group and meeting their eyes. He looks at her for a minute, trying to get rid of the lump forming.

"Yeah, I'm good." For a minute they just look at each other. He breaks eye contact. "Apparently, this lot has gotten into astronomy."

"Astronomy?"

"They said they were talking about yellow stars." Roben sees Marisol's hand on Chelsea's mouth, looking around suspiciously. She sees some of them avoiding her eyes, some staring at random things a little too hard, some guilty expressions. She sighs, crossing her arms.

"Guys...you weren't talking about astronomy." Bobby looks over at her confused, she avoids his eyes. "Please stop. Everything is great and nothing needs to change. It's fine if you stay out here, but stop talking about it. It's not fixing anything, there's nothing to fix." She walks inside, leaving Bobby with a confused look.

"What just happened?" Rocco shrugs.

"I don't know. Don't you hate that sometimes?" Hope raises an eyebrow.

"I love it." Carl readjust in his seat.

"I personally hate that I love it." Rahim traces shapes on Priya's leg.

"You ever look at someone and think 'Damn, I want you.' I know I do." Priya smiles.

"I know I think 'Damn, I need you' a lot." Bobby looks at them confused.

"Absolutely none of this is making sense." They all groan. Chelsea pinches the bridge of her nose.

"Even I get it and I'm the ditzy one!" Jace finds him on the porch, taking his hand.

"There you are. For a minute I was worried you ran off to Scotland with Roben again." He gives her a stern look.

"Jace..." 

"What? I didn't say anything rude."

"We've been over this. I had stuff to take care of." 

"And she finally decided to let everyone else know she-"

"Jace! Stop! I know what you're about to say and I'm warning you not to. Everyone out here is loyal to me, her and our family. If you don't stop talking about her like that we aren't going to work out. Just stop. Put your stupid jealousy bullshit aside." He walks inside, Jace close behind him, frowning. Rahim looks around.

"Bruh....."


	16. March 12, 2020

He lays there, looking at a picture of them next to his bed. A knock on the door brings him out of his thoughts.

"Come in." Gary peaks inside.

"Jace isn't here?"

"Nah, I didn't feel like hanging out today. What's up?"

"There's something I wanna show you later. Actually, we wanted to show you and Roben. Is that okay?"

"Is everything okay? What is it?"

"You'll see. I'll call you when I get back, I've got some errands to run."

"Okay. What does Roben think?"

"Uh, not sure. We don't know where she is."

"What??? Where are the boys? Is she okay??"

"Lottie says she does this every year. Lottie watches the boys and Roben disappears for the day."

"And she doesn't know where she goes?"

"No, which is actually where you come in. I was wondering if you could try and get a hold of her. You might be the only one she'll talk to today."

"What about Noah?"

"She won't answer him either."

"Alright, I'll give it a shot."

"Thanks, mate. I'll see you soon." He walks out, leaving Bobby alone. He sighs and picks up his phone, not getting an answer. He frowns, thinking about all the places she could go. He wracks through his memories of anything that could tell him where. He thought about the places in Scotland, the places here, anything that could connect the two. It dawns on him where she's at. He quickly gets dressed, grabbing his phone and keys. He pulls up to the park, walking past the families and couples enjoying the outdoors. He walks through the trees, winding around them. He spots a symbol carved on one of the trees, smiling. He continues through the countless trees, following the symbols. Finally, he sees an opening. He stands there a minute, seeing her sitting on the wide swing attached to the big tree. 

"I found you." She looks over at him, frowning.

"How??" 

"Let's see...I think when we graduated we went on a trip to, what was it? Oh that's right, London." She smiles at him. "I remember this crazy lass dragged us through the trees swearing we'd find a hidden place somewhere. But Miles and I were hesitant...so we carved marks into the trees to find our way back." He walks over, standing in front of her. "And she ended up being right." She chuckles, looking back over at the view beyond the hill they stood on. He looks up at the rope tied around the tree. "How sturdy is this thing?" She shrugs.

"Seems pretty sturdy. Wanna sit?" He sits down next to her, their sides touching. She leans her head against his shoulder. "It's been three years."

"Feels so much longer, doesn't it?" 

"It really does." He sees one head phone in her ear, connected to her phone in her lap.

"What are you listening to?" 

"The last song he played for me." He sighs.

"That's, uh, a pretty depressing song."

"It is...but it's sweet too. It was his goodbye." 

"He always let music do the talking."

"That's one of the things I loved about him. He had a song for literally everything." He thinks a minute.

"How come you haven't told anyone about this place?" 

"It feels too....intimate. This is the only spot in London that he's connected to, that wasn't just some tourist attraction. It has wonderful, emotional memories with him. And I don't want anyone to mess it up."

"I can get that."

"So if you show this place to anyone, especially Jace, I might kill you. You can be here because you were really close with him too...but no one else." He smiles.

"I promise it'll be our secret." For a while they just sit silently, thinking about all their memories with him. She sniffles, making him look over at her. Tears streaming down her face, she just stared out into the distance. He readjusted, swinging his leg over so he was straddling the swing. He pulls her close, holding her as she cries. 

"Sometimes I think I'm better and that it doesn't hurt. And some days it feels like it only gets worse. I miss him so much."

"I know, lass. Me too." 

"Why did this have to happen? I find my person and before we can really start our life together, he's gone. Before he can meet his son, he's gone. He wanted little Miles so badly. He couldn't wait for us to start a family. He couldn't even be here for it." He holds her closer.

"I know, it sucks. It was cruel to have this all happen to you. I'm sorry, lass. I wish I could make it stop." She looks up at him. 

"Just don't do what you did last time, that's what started this whole mess." He laughs, making her smile.

"I promise, I'm not gonna try and have sex with you...this time." She pinches his arm. "Ow! I was just kidding! I won't try the next time...maybe the time after that." 

"Bobby!" 

"I'm sorry, I just like to make you laugh. I promise I'm not gonna try anything with you any of the times." She rolls her eyes at him.

"What am I going to do with you, Robert?" He smiles.

"Learn to love me cause I am your baby daddy so you're stuck with me." She smiles.

"I guess it could be worse."

"Now that hurts! I thought you did love me!"

"You know I do! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"Is that how you deal with it now? You hurt my feelings?"

"It actually did make me feel better."

"I will allow it then. Only so you stop ruining my shirt." She rubs her face on his shirt, making him laugh. "Roben!" 

"You wear too much black these days, anyway. I miss your colorful button ups." 

"Hey, I wasn't asking for fashion advice. I like my clothes."

"They just don't seem very you. They're too depressing."

"I haven't worn those in like three years." 

"You should though. I mean you look good in black but I think you would look better in your old shirts." His phone rings in his pocket, making her jump. He answers it, his arm still around her.

"Yeah?"

"Did you find her?"

"Yeah, I found her."

"Where at??"

"I'm not telling you."

"Why?"

"I promised to keep it a secret."

"Whatever, anyway, do you think you can talk her into coming with you?"

"I can try. Where at?"

"Nan's."

"Okay. I'll see what I can do." He hangs up, looking at her. "Gary wants you to come with me to Nan's." She frowns.

"No. I don't do special events on this day. This day I get to be a pathetic mess that looks like a hobo." He smiles.

"You aren't a pathetic mess. And you don't look like a hobo either. You look gorgeous, like you always do." She blushes.

"Don't flirt with me, I'm not going."

"Why?" 

"Because it feels wrong to go have fun today."

"Roben...you know exactly what he would say right now. You know damn well he would tell you to get off your ass and go have a laugh. He doesn't want you sitting around right now, crying all day. He wants to see your pretty smile, hear your cute laugh and see you have a good time." She looks at him a long time, searching his eyes. "Don't make yourself suffer because he's not here anymore." He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "You won't heal if you keep making yourself hurt." She sighs, standing up. She walks a few feet away from him, crossing her arms. He walks up behind her, wrapping his arms around her. "Pwease. Pwetty pwease." She smiles and sighs.

"Fine." She turns around, looking at him. "But I won't be happy about it." He smiles.

"I'm okay with that, I tend to have that effect on you anyway." She scrunched her nose. 

"I know."

"Thanks, I'm so happy I came here." She smiles, standing on her tippy toes to hug him. 

"I really am though."

"Really what?"

"Happy you came here."

"Really?" She looks at him, smiling.

"Yeah. It's like I have my best friend back." He smiles, hugging her tightly.

"You never lost me...it just got weird for a while. I'll always be here."

********

They walk into Nan's, looking around. Roben frowns.

"Hello?? Nan? Gary?" 

"Why does it feel like we're about to get murdered?" She smiles, hitting his arm.

"You dork."

"I'm just saying. This could be a trap." She rolls her eyes, looking in the kitchen. "I mean maybe they kidnapped Gary and made him call us." She heads for the back door, him close on her heels. "They knew he'd get us here and then BAM! I get stabbed." She laughs, looking at him like he's crazy.

"What is the matter with you?"

"I don't think you wanna open that box." She shakes her head, turning the door handle. Gary and Lottie see them, smiling. 

"What's with all the secrecy, guys? Why did we have to come here?" Lottie holds up blindfolds.

"Put them on. Now." Roben and Bobby exchange nervous glances. "Come on, just trust us."

"Dinnae ken, it feels like we might die." Roben hits his arm again, smiling.

"Will you stop with the surprise murder thing?" Gary raises his eyebrows.

"We're coming back to that, but put them on." They do as they're told, being led somewhere. He hears Roben next to him.

"This is making me more nervous." Lottie speaks in front of them.

"It's gonna be great, I promise." After walking a little farther they stop them. "Okay, on three take them off."

"One...two...three." He takes his off, his eyes adjusting to the light. When he can see again he sees all their friends standing in front of them. Bobby frowns.

"What's going on?" Rahim and Noah take a couple steps to the side. A newly planted tree was revealed, stones circling around it. He looks down, reading the plaque aloud. "May this tree stand tall, reminding us of your love and support. Though losing you hurts, it created a path for us to find the rest of our family. Thank you for bringing us together." He didn't even try to hide the tears, looking around at all of their closest friends. He meets Roben's eyes, both of them smiling through the tears. She hugs him tightly, soft sobs escaping her. Carl and Hope walk over with the boys, handing them to them. Roben wipes her face, clinging to Miles in her arms.

"You guys...this is so..." She covers her mouth, more tears falling. Bobby rubs her back.

"Beautiful." She nods, taking some deep breaths. 

"I never thought about it like that. It never occurred to me that losing him brought all of us together." Marisol hugs her from the side.

"Oh, hun. I know you like to take this day to grieve...but you don't have to grieve alone." Priya smiles, wiping her eyes.

"Exactly. When you hurt we hurt." Rahim pats Bobby's back.

"We may not have known him, but him not being here hurts us too." Rocco nods.

"Exactly. Losing him sucks...but if you hadn't none of us would be here together. We wouldn't have found you two. I mean, you two are what brought us together." Bobby and Roben look at each other, smiling. Roben wipes her face again.

"Okay, who's idea was it?" Everyone looks at Lottie and Gary, making them both blush. Gary shrugs.

"We know this day is hard for both of you. I mean we've each seen what it was like for you separately. We've seen how hard it was for both of you to do it alone."

"We thought after everything we've gone through this year it might be harder. And we wanted you two to know, you don't have to do it alone anymore." Chelsea sniffles.

"We just want you to know, if you ever need someone else to lean on you have-" She silently counts everyone present, making everyone smile. "Ten other people to lean on." Bobby bites his lip, looking around. He meets Roben's eyes again, seeing the vast improvement from earlier. She had a different look on her face this time, peacefulness taking over her features. She shrugs.

"Maybe I don't have to lock myself away anymore." 

"Good, I don't think either of us need to." 


	17. March 13, 2020

He wakes up to yelling in the living room, running out to see Gary in between Lottie and Jace.

"What the hell is going on???" The three of them look at him, Jace glaring at him. "What the hell is that look for??"

"How about the fact you completely ignored me all day yesterday and then I see pictures all over the place of you hanging out with all your mates. Oh and let's not forget in many of them you and Roben were all over each other." He frowns.

"What exactly are you accusing me of?"

"Do you still have feelings for her?"

"No, I don't."

"Then why can't you leave her alone?" He takes a deep breath closing his eyes.

"Because I have a million reasons I can't and I don't want to. We've known each other since we were 17, we graduated together, we lived together, she married my best mate, we dated, we have two kids together, we're best mates again, we both still share the loss of losing her husband, all our mates are tied together." He motions to Lottie and Gary. "Hell, our closest mates that know us as well as we know each other are dating! We're tied to each other for life. Rather it's friends or co-parents or whatever, we are going to be tied to each other one way or another for the rest of our lives."

"So what are you saying? You're going to choose her? You told me you loved me. You-"

"Stop right there. I thought I did. Gary, hold Lottie back. You've been degrading Roben every step of the way, making it harder and harder to care for you. She mentioned all those dirty looks you kept giving her at the New Years party at her flat. You even said Miles wasn't my son. I'm fucking done with it, Jace. You're possessive, jealous, controlling. I'm not sure if you were always like this and you just hid it really well or if this is because of something else. But no matter what, I can't do this anymore." Lottie glares at her.

"Hold on, you told him Miles wasn't-I swear to God." Gary stops her before she can take a step. Jace doesn't pay her any attention.

"So you are choosing her?"

"Yes! I would choose her over any woman, any day. I will always choose her. She is my best mate, the mother of my kids, my first love, and my family. I wanted you to become a part of our family, as an equal. But you obviously wouldn't be a good part of our family. I don't want my kids growing up watching a woman treating their mother so badly. She's tried to make up for the first time you two met. And honestly, she had a right to act like that. I hid everything from her, even let you meet the boys before she was ready. I should've respected her better than that. But she's been trying to fix it and you're so pigheaded you won't stop." She stares at him for a long time.

"Fine. But at least admit it, out loud. Hiding it is completely pointless, I know they know how you feel and I want to know too. I at least deserve some sort of closure to this, right? Are you in love with her still?"

"No."

"Do not lie to me. I can see it every time you look at her. You look at her so much differently than you look at me. It's almost like you don't see me sometimes. Maybe I should've handled things better, but do you know what it's like to constantly be second to someone? To someone who isn't even trying to be with you? I had competition with someone who wasn't even trying." He looks down.

"I'm sorry you felt like you were second. I didn't intend for that. But you should've talked to me about instead of treating her like that."

"You're right. But you need to admit it. To yourself if not me. I need to know how long I've been wasting my time on someone who didn't even want me."

"I did want you. That's why it drove me so crazy when you started getting jealous and possessive. I did everything I could to make you feel better and nothing was good enough."

"Stop avoiding it. Do you love her?"

"Yes! Alright, yes. I do. Are we done now?" She sighs, looking at him sadly for a moment. 

"All I'm gonna say is somethings are worth fighting for." She walks up to him, kissing him gently. "I'll miss your horrible jokes." She walks out, leaving him thoroughly confused. Gary clears his throat, him and Lottie staring at him.

"I have no clue what just happened."

"You professed your love for your ex to the girlfriend you were breaking up with because she wouldn't stop treating your ex badly." 

"But she's not just an ex, she's the mother of my kids."

"I mean, true...but still. Mate, what is wrong with you?"

"Dinnae ken but I'm about to move back home. This is just too much. I mean I probably won't because of the boys but damn. I don't think relationships are my thing. I've tried two now and they both ended badly." Lottie smiles.

"You still love her." He points at her.

"If you tell her I'm going to be the one fighting you."

"Try me. I'll win...but I won't tell her. You should though." He shakes his head.

"I keep hurting her and it's not fair to her to keep doing this to her. She's genuinely happy with Noah and I don't want to mess that up for her. Her happiness matters more than what I want. I fucked up and moved on first. I walked away and now I have to deal with it. I'm not risking ruining her relationship or our friendship. It means too much to me. I'd rather have her as a best friend than nothing at all, and if I tell her everything we'll end up hating each other again." He walks into his room, leaving Gary and Lottie alone.

********

Priya sets down plates in front of the boys.

"Try to eat this time, not play with it." Roben smiles at her.

"Good luck, Auntie Priya. I swear they wear their food more than anything else." 

"Hey, it's worth a shot." Priya sits down on the other side of her, sipping her tea. "So, how are you feeling after yesterday? It was a lot to deal with." She smiles at her.

"It was a whole lot to handle. But...I feel good. I feel happy. Things are great right now. I feel at peace with this whole Miles thing, I have an amazing boyfriend, amazing and thoughtful mates, and things seem to be fixed with Bobby. It's almost like it was before we slept together."

"So you two are good now after your little adventure?"

"Adventure is not the word I would use to describe it. But yeah, we're good."

"Where did you two go?"

"He actually came and found me. Gary asked him to." 

"Wait, you didn't tell him where you were? How did he find you? None of us ever could." She shrugs. 

"He knows me even better than Lottie does. He can be dim sometimes, but he always figures me out somehow. He figured out where I was and came to see me."

"Did anything interesting happen?" Priya has a mischievous glint in her eye.

"No, Priya. We neither snogged or slept together. But we did fix our friendship. Which makes me really happy. I think we've just been having trouble navigating without Miles."

"What do you mean?"

"So the three of us were always together. Everyday. We spent so much time together there were rumors we were a thrupple. Which isn't true, by the way. But when Miles died, we lost part of our group. He was our glue, he was his best mate and my husband. He was what kept us together, and then when he died we didn't know how to be around each other. I mean we had been hanging out alone for a while towards the end, but now that Miles was actually gone it felt different. Even when we reconnected in June we still felt that missing piece of us. I think now that we've come to terms with his loss, and gained you lot and the boys...I think we've found our footing." 

"So you've found a different piece to keep you two together?"

"Well, I still think Miles is our glue. He's a huge part of our history and our friendship. But now our puzzle has grown. So we found a bunch of new pieces that fit with us." Priya smiles.

"We think that too, except you and Bobby are our glue. We owe a lot to you two. If you two hadn't known each other, I don't think any of us would've actually connected. It started when he came to talk to you at the hotel." She smiles.

"I was so mad he came to talk to me...but looking back I guess it was alright."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." 

"Did loving Bobby feel the same as loving Miles?" 

"No, not really. Like I felt like they were my other half. They were both my person. But how the love felt was differently for both of them. Miles had always been a lover to me. So it was so romantic and affectionate with him. But with Bobby we were mates first. So it was so comforting but it was still really intimate." 

"And what about with Noah?"

"That's harder to pinpoint. With him it's exciting and new. It's passionate." 

"You're one lucky girl."

"Because of Noah?" 

"No, because you've managed to find three loves. And you've managed to keep one as your best friend and your boyfriend isn't insecure about it." She chuckles.

"True. He knows how much we've been through together. He knows he means a lot to me, I mean Bobby was our best person at our wedding." 

"Your what?"

"Best person. He was my best mate and Miles's, so he was our best person. My man of honor and Miles's best man."

"That sounds interesting." She shrugs.

"I think that's partly why Miles wanted us together. He knew Bobby and figured Bobby would do anything to look after me. Which to be fair he has for the most part. He always sticks up for me. Even to his girlfriend."

"Ugh, I can't stand her. She's so rude." 

"She just gives me dirty looks."

"Doesn't surprise me. Any time someone mentions you she rolls her eyes when Bobby isn't looking. When he does catch her though he tells her something."

"Really?"

"Yeah, all the time. He still sticks up for you against her. He always tells her she needs to stop or they won't work out, she needs to try and be mates with you for him, she's being unfair, he even takes responsibility for the night we all met her."

"Wait, what?" 

"He agrees he should've handled the situation better. He should've talked to you about everything first and let you meet her before she met the boys. He says it was really disrespectful to you to do it like that."

"Why hasn't he told me this?" 

"Who knows. You two haven't been talking much until now." Roben's phone vibrates on the table next to her, now empty, cup. She looks at it, frowning slightly with a smile. "Who is it?"

"Bobby." 

"What's he saying?" She raises her eyebrows. 

"Just saying good morning and to tell the boys he loves them." Priya arches an eyebrow. 

"Since when do you two text like that?"

"Since now I guess. He wants to come see them later." 

"I thought he was gonna see Jace?"

"Good point." 

"What's he saying now?" Her jaw drops.

"They broke up." 

"What? When? Why?"

"He said she got really jealous we hung out yesterday when he didn't hang out with her. He said he just got fed up with it and told her he couldn't do it anymore."

"So he broke up with her because she was jealous of you?"

"I guess so. I mean, I'm an ex he can't get rid of. We have kids together."

"Interesting...." she holds a finger up, looking up from her phone. 

"Don't go there, we don't love each other like that anymore. We're just mates, co-parents."

"Whatever you say, hun." She rolls her eyes.

"I can't wait for the day you lot stop doing that." 

"Won't be until one of you are engaged, sorry." She smiles, shaking her head.

"You guys are crazy, I swear."


	18. May 29, 2021

She looks over her eyeliner in the mirror, applying her mascara. 

"Roben, Bobby's here with the boys!"

"Okay, Mum! I'm finishing my makeup, let him inside." She applies her lip stick, her hand steady. She runs her fingers through her hair, fixing her curls.

"I always liked that color on you." She turns and sees Bobby leaning against her door frame, smiling at her. She blushes.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"Not long. I only just got here." She smiles.

"True." She turns back to the mirror, looking herself over. 

"You look beautiful, Noah's gonna lose it." She looks at him a minute through the mirror. "What?" She clears her throat, forcing a smile.

"You haven't seen my room since we lived together." He looks around, smiling.

"It looks pretty different, not really like you."

"What do you mean?"

"It's nice, but it's all sophisticated. Pale colors, neutral decorations. Nothing personal about it, nothing colorful." She smiles, standing up. She walks over to her night stand, picking up a picture. She drops it on the bed for him to pick up, making him smile. "You still have this picture?" She nods.

"We took this picture when we went dress shopping for your wedding." She nods.

"Yup, it's one of my favorites."

"Mine too. But that's not personal enough." She points to a picture on her other night stand. "This was at one of the school dances, right?" She nods.

"The last on of our last year in school." He chuckles.

"We got really drunk after that dance."

"I know, I think I remember you hooking up with two different girls that night." He blushes.

"So did I tell you that Miles told me earlier he wanted a piece of candy when I asked what he wanted for lunch?" She smiles, shaking her head.

"What am I going to do, Robert?" He shrugs.

"Love me cause you can't get rid of me."

"I'm fine with that, but we need to work on your choice in girlfriends."

"Probably won't happen, I suck at relationships."

"Back to the one night stand life style?"

"Not really. Just been focusing on the boys really." She looks at him curiously. "What?"

"So you're just not gonna have sex or date?"

"I've had sex but nothing like I used to. And this time they knew it wasn't going anywhere."

"Ah, the honorable one night stand." He rolls his eyes.

"Am I ever going to do anything that you approve of?" She smiles.

"You already have. You're a great dad, much better than I anticipated. Especially, since you took on both boys." 

"Really?"

"Mhmm. I'm really proud of you, you've come a long way from the Bobby I knew in school." He looks at her for a long time, finally clearing his throat.

"Right. Well, we should get going. Everyone will be there before we can go." 

"Right." She looks in the mirror again, making him sigh.

"Roben, you look gorgeous. Now let's go before your birthday is over."

"Fine, fine. I'm coming." He wiggles his eyebrows, making her laugh. "Pervert!"

"I didn't even say anything." 

"Jesus, you are a hot mess." She flicks his forehead as she walks past him, out of her room. "Turn off the light."

"Got it." 

********

Everyone cheers when they walk inside the pub. She smiles and runs over to them, dragging Bobby behind her. She hugs all the girls, making Bobby sit down next to her. She smiles at Noah.

"Hi, babe." She leans forward, kissing him. "I missed you."

"You saw me this morning."

"And then you had to leave to go get some clothes." He smiles.

"I missed you too." She looks around.

"So what are we talking about?" Bobby stands up.

"I'm gonna grab me a drink, want one?"

"Yes, please. Surprise me." He smiles and walks over to the bar. He smiles when he sees the bartender. 

"Hey, you're still here." She smiles and nods.

"I am. I see you're back. And you're not alone this time. Did you ever get that figured out?" He looks over at Roben laughing at something Noah told her. He sighs, looking back at her.

"You were right, I need to let her be happy. He makes her happier than I ever could, that's what she deserves." She smiles at him.

"I know it's gonna suck for a while, but I promise it stops one day. How's the girlfriend?"

"Oh, we definitely broke up. I couldn't take listening to her always talking shit about Roben." 

"Ooh, good call." He smiles.

"I'm not dumb all the time...just sometimes." He feels a hand on his back, seeing Roben. She smiles at Maizie.

"He kind of is but he's also really funny." She holds her hand out. "I'm Roben." Maizie shakes it, returning the smile.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Maizie."

"Oh, I love your name."

"Thanks, it's Scottish. I'm not Scottish, my parents are." 

"Scottish, huh?" She nudges Bobby's ribs, making him smile. 

"Roben...what are you doing?"

"Apparently I can't trust you to introduce me to girls before you graft on them so I have to do it myself. Duh." She winks at Maizie. "Plus I came to order drinks." 

"That was one time!"

"It's a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard." Maizie busts out laughing.

"I have never heard that before."

"I got it from him. He says a lot of funny things, just give it another five minutes." He shakes his head.

"That's a pretty high standard. Not sure I can live up to it if I'm honest. Might say something funny in ten minutes." Maizie smiles at him.

"That was kinda funny!"

"Yeah, but kinda funny isn't funny." Roben shrugs.

"It does earn you some points though." 

"Exactly. You went from zero points to, what would you say, Roben? Three?"

"Sounds about right to me."

"Only three? Man, I'm off my game tonight." Maizie leans on the counter.

"Give it time, you just need to loosen up a bit." Roben nods.

"He really does. He had the boys today." She winces. "Did he tell you-"

"That you're the mother of his kids? Or that he has kids? Yes, I think it's lovely you two can still hang out together." Roben smiles.

"That earned you ten points." Bobby raises his eyebrows.

"Thinking it's good that we're still mates earns her ten points? I don't think this point system is fair." Maizie shrugs.

"All's fair in love and war." He smiles at her.

"Really? I think you two are just ganging up on me because you're women." Roben scrunches her nose.

"Nah, you just need to up your game." He laughs.

"Thanks for the support." She shrugs, looking back at Maizie.

"So how do you feel about the kids then?"

"I never really thought about it. I love kids, I work with kids at my other job."

"Do you ever think about your own in the future?" Bobby watches their conversation, a mixture of confusion and shock on his face.

"Oh, definitely. I've never dated a dad before though."

"I think dating a single dad is a really smart choice. I mean, I imagine most lads that hit on you are creeps, drunk, or just ugly." Maizie laughs.

"True."

"Dating a dad though, it shows that he's responsible, loving, caring, supportive. And he doesn't even have a dad bod, so he's a hot dad."

"You have a point there."

"Right. You rarely see attractive, single, good fathers. Just saying. Plus, he's funny. Usually." Maizie laughs.

"It sounds like me and you agree on this but someone seems to have lost his tongue." They look at him.

"Wait, what?" The girls laugh. Roben nudges him, grabbing the drinks Maizie had set in front of her.

"It was lovely to meet you, Maizie. I hope we can hang out sometime." She winks at him, walking away. He looks between them confused.

"What just happened?" She writes down her number, handing it over to him. She smiles at him. 

"You have quite the wingman. Or wingwoman." He stares at her number, looking back up at her, smiling.

"Are you telling me she just came over to help me graft on you?"

"Mhmm. And surprisingly it worked."

"Never would've guess that in a million years...except she used to do that in school too."

"So are you ever gonna ask me out or do I need to call her over again?" He laughs.

"Maizie, can I take you out sometime?"

"I would love to. Call me tomorrow and we'll plan it." She winks at him, walking away. He watches her walk away a minute, unable to stop smiling. He gets back to the table and sees everyone staring at him.

"What?" Rocco tries to hide his smile.

"So, you two seemed to hit it off." Carl clears his throat.

"Yeah, it looked like she was into you." He sits next to Roben.

"Why did they send you and not them?"

"They didn't. I saw it first and called dibs. Did you actually ask her or do I need to go back over there?" He sighs, showing her her number. She high fives Noah. "Yes! I still got it." He laughs.

"You're telling me you two used to do this all the time?"

"Yup, I was always his wingwoman." Rahim chuckles.

"Uh, Bobby. You forgot your drink."

"Damn it." Roben slides a drink in front of him.

"Got you there too. Got your back, boo." Lottie leans back in her chair.

"I like this Roben, where's she been hiding?"

"She got lost for a while, but she's back." Marisol smiles.

"I'm all for it, hun. I'm loving this vibe." Hope raises an eyebrow.

"You sound like Rocco." She looks around. "You know, we've all changed a bit over the months." Chelsea giggles.

"Duh! We've been through a ton this year. Things happen, they change people. But when the people truly matter, they stick. And that's us, we all stuck." They all look at each other, smiling. Carl puts his arm around Hope. 

"Going to Spain was the best thing I ever did, I know that."

"Aww, babe." She gives him a kiss. Noah takes Roben's hand, kissing the back of it. She smiles, biting her lip. He kisses her cheek, making her blush. 

"You're cute." He smiles.

"I'm glad you think so." Priya holds up her glass.

"So are we gonna toast to Roben's birthday or not?" 

********


	19. June 7, 2021

Lottie whistles when she comes down the stairs.

"Oh my, look at you. You look so damn sexy." Roben blushes, turning in a small circle.

"Thank you." Miles runs up to her, smiling.

"Mummy look pretty!" She bends down, smiling.

"Thank you, honey." She kisses his cheek. "You be good for Auntie Lottie, okay? Go to bed good for her." 

"Okay, Mummy." He gives her a big hug. She looks over at RJ.

"What, no hugs for Mummy?" He smiles, running up to her. She squeezes them both tightly, kissing their cheeks. "I love you both so, so, so much." RJ kisses her cheek.

"Mwuah! Love you." He pokes her nose. "Boop." He laughs, running off. She rolls her eyes.

"Definitely a Bobby Jr right there." Lottie shrugs.

"It's cute though." The doorbell rings, startling her. She answers it, smiling when she sees him. His jaw drops as he looks at her all dressed up. She wore a long, fitted, V-neck purple satin evening gown, the ruching on the top and around her waist hugging her curves. A long slit reached from the top of her left thigh all the way down. She wore simple diamond earrings and a matching diamond bracelet. Her curls pinned back on her left side, the rest cascading down her right shoulder.

"Holy shit." He shakes his head. "I mean you look beautiful." She giggles, taking his hand. 

"Thanks, babe." She turns back to the boys and Lottie. "Goodnight, have fun tonight."

"We always do. Enjoy yourselves, don't forget the protection." She winks at them, making her blush. She walks out the door, taking his arm. 

"So what are the plans?"

"I thought we could go see a play and grab some dinner afterwards."

"Ooh, sounds lovely." 

********

He holds the door open for her, putting his hand on her lower back. As he talked to the guy taking tickets she looked at him in amazement. He wore a dark gray suit, a light purple button up visible in the open jacket. The top two buttons were undone, his little curls tidied neatly. She couldn't help but bite her lip thinking about what he would look like when she started taking it off him. He looks over at her, raising his eyebrows. He puts his hand on her lower back again, leaning close to her ear.

"I know that look...and it's gonna have to wait." She blushes.

"I can try but no promises."

"I'm counting on it." He looks over, noticing guys looking back at her as they walked by. He smiled, putting his arm around her. "Let's find our seats." She quickly became engrossed in the play, being drawn to the story. It was about two lovers who kept getting torn apart, but always finding their way back to each other. Until the day she had found out he died. She was so heartbroken, she found it hard to move on. She eventually found herself looking to him for guidance as she learned how to live without him. She stayed loyal to him until the day she passed away, being greeted by him in the light. He had waited for her all this time. She found herself thinking about Bobby during the play, thinking about how they always seemed to be torn apart. _**No, stop it. You weren't torn apart, he chose to leave you behind. You now have an amazing man who loves you. He isn't waiting for you and he doesn't love you. Noah does. Focus on Noah.**_ She took Noah's hand, smiling at him when he looked over at her. 

********

She looks over the menu, crossing her legs under the table. She didn't realize he was watching her anxiously. 

"I've never been here before, have you?"

"Uh, yeah. I've been here a couple times."

"What do you suggest then?"

"Depends what you're in the mood for. The filet mignon is exceptionally delicious. They also have an amazing poached salmon as well." She smiles, still reading the menu.

"You do know the way to my heart." He smiles at her, leaning back into the chair.

"I try." She looks up at him, raising her eyebrows.

"Someone seems confident." 

"I mean, I did have the most beautiful woman on my arm tonight." She blushes.

"Please, there were plenty of gorgeous women there tonight."

"None of them got as much attention as you did. I couldn't look anywhere without seeing at least one man looking at you." 

"You're making that up."

"I swear I'm not!" He looks around, smiling when he spots someone. He looks back at her. "Two tables back, three tables to the left. There's a man with a red tie who keeps looking over at you." She discreetly turns, catching the man looking at her. He quickly looks away, attempting not to be seen. 

"One guy doesn't count." 

"What about the group of waiters over by the bar who keep looking over at you?" She glances at them, seeing a couple of them look away. One of them winks at her, making her blush. She smiles at Noah.

"Well, what about you? You look especially handsome tonight. So I'd say _we_ caught everyone's attention. There's a cougar at the bar who keeps eyeing you." He looks over, seeing a beautiful older woman with blonde hair smiling at him. She winks at him, sipping her drink. He looks back at her.

"She's got nothing on you." 

"Smooth line."

"Only the truth." She looks back at the menu with a smile. For a minute neither of them speak, just enjoy the comfortable silence together. When the wine is served, he clears his throat. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, anything." He readjusts in his seat nervously.

"Um, I was just thinking, I mean I've been thinking recently, well a while actually." He pauses, readjusting again. She looks at him with concern.

"Are you feeling okay?" She takes his hand across the table, he looks at their hands and smiles. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just nervous. Um, I wanted to see where you were at with us."

"What do you mean?"

"What...what are you wanting this to be? Where do you see this going?"

"Oh...I haven't really thought too much about it." She saw disappointment flash in his eyes. "Only because I've just been too distracted by being with you. I get caught up in the now, never really looking into the future."

"So...now that I've asked...where do you want this to go?"

"Uh...I'm not sure."

"Do you see yourself ever getting married again or having more kids?" She stares at him a moment, stunned.

"Um...I don't know. I love you and being with you. I never really thought about getting married again and because of that never thought about having more kids."

"Is it something you'd consider?"

"Is that what you want? Marriage and more kids?"

"Marriage yes. The kids kind of depends. I mean, I'd like to have one that was ours, like that I fathered, but I'm also perfectly happy with the boys. They're amazing." She smiles at him.

"You've thought about this?"

"Well...yeah. I love you. And the boys."

"What kind of things do you see when you think about it?"

"Well, when I picture us getting married I see the boys being up there with us. The four of us committing to be a family. When I see us during life after we get married...I see us waking up to each other. Then the boys run in and jump on the bed, crawling up next to us. Sometimes I see the four of us walking through the park together, or getting ice cream. Waking up on Christmas morning to them screaming about Santa. Going on holiday together. No matter what it is, I see the four of us being happy together."

"You see all that?" He nods.

"I do. I see a real future for us. And I hope you do." She looks at him a minute, picturing all the things he said.

"I like the way all of that looks." She pictures what it would be like to do all of that, finding herself smiling. 

"Is that something you could see yourself wanting?"

"Marrying you?"

"Yeah." After a minute she tangles her fingers with his.

"Yeah, it is. I want everything you just said." He lets out a sigh of relief.

"Really?" She nods.

"Yeah. I'd love to do that. To have that." He kisses her hand.

"I love you."

"I love you too." She sees the waiter coming with their food. "And I definitely love that." He looks over and laughs.

"You really do love food. Sometimes I think you love food more than me."

"What? No, never! It's just right below you on the list of things I love." He shakes his head at her.

"You're something else, Roben." 

"I know, it makes life interesting." She bats her eyelashes.

"That it does." He looks up during dinner to see her savoring each bite. She lets out a soft moan, not noticing him looking at her. "Who knew you could make eating steak look sexy?" She looks up, blushing.

"Don't watch me eat, I'll get nervous!"

"You'll get nervous to, what, eat?"

"Duh."

"I'm sorry, I was just noticing that sexy moaning you were doing and it distracted me."

"Well if you want more of that later then let me finish eating." He laughs, raising his hands in surrender.

"I'm sorry, please continue. But calm down on the moaning, it's getting to me a bit." She looks him right in the eye, taking another bite. She moans a little louder.

"Oh my God, it's so good." He bites his lip. She licks her lips seductively. 

"I hate you."

"You love me."

"You're a tease." 

"Someone feeling a little, thirsty?" She winks at him.

"Thirsty? I have not heard that in a while."

"Well I'm bringing it back. But does that moan...do something for you?" He clears his throat.

"It might." She slips off her shoe, running her foot gently up his leg.

"Really? What can I do to help?" He raises his eyebrow, taking a deep breath.

"Umm, move your foot for starters. You're...you know exactly where it is."

"Maybe you should scoot over here then." 

"And do what?"

"You'll have to see." He smiles at her.

"You need to move your foot first." She giggles, putting her shoe back on. He scoots over in the booth, looking into her eyes. "Now what?" She runs a nail lightly across his jaw.

"You really are handsome. Just looking at you is enough for me sometimes."

"Oh really?" She puts a hand on his leg, leaning into his ear.

"I can't wait to see how handsome you look when I take that suit off you." She runs her hand up his leg. He clears his throat.

"We're, uh, we're in public, love." 

"And? They can't see behind the table plus we have this long table cloth hiding what we're doing under the table." 

"You...you surprise me." She kisses his neck, running her hand across his lap discreetly. 

"Good." He puts his hand on hers.

"I'm gonna need you to stop that."

"Why? Am I turning you on?" He bites his lip.

"You know damn well what, you're doing to me." She kisses him, placing his hand on her exposed leg. He runs it up her thigh softly, sending goosebumps across her skin. He moves her dress so it shows her other leg, running his hand across that leg. He squeezes the inside of her thigh, making her moan softly. "There's so much I want to do to you right now." 

"Give me a preview." He kisses her again, running his hand up her leg higher. "By the way...I'm not wearing any panties." He groans.

"You're killing me, babe." She kisses him, running her hand across his lap again. "Let's see how you like it." He slowly reaches between her legs, teasing the inside of her thighs. She pulls him close by his jacket, kissing him hard. He starts to rub her softly, making her moan softly. He slips two fingers in her, biting her lip. She gasps softly.

"Babe, we're in public." 

"You wanted to tease me. Besides, no one is paying attention." She smiles, kissing him again. He slowly moves hand, keeping his arm still. She tries not to make any noise, the pressure building up. She whispers in his ear.

"You're gonna make me come." He moves his hand from resting on the back of seat to her neck, kissing her hard. A soft whimper escapes her throat. She squeezes her legs together, biting his lip. He moves his kisses to her neck, her leaning her head against the back of the seat to give him access. "Why don't we get out of here?"

"You don't even want to stay for dessert?"

"I want you for dessert."

"They have your favorite...triple layered chocolate cake." She freezes, staring at him.

"Maybe we can stay for just a bite." He smiles giving her peck.

"Good. But I need to go to the loo and splash some cold water on my face. Because my girlfriend is too hot for me to handle." She laughs as he slides out of the booth, going to the restroom. She smiles at him when he makes back to the table, sitting back on the opposite side.

"What, you don't want to sit next to me anymore?"

"I do but you're a tease and I don't think I want everyone else seeing me walking around with a hard on." She laughs, shrugging.

"It shows them what they're missing."

"Even the guys?"

"Well, what they're lacking." 

"Oh really?" She laughs again, taking a sip of wine.

"You know it." The cake arrives, making her clap. "Yes!! I love you." He smiles at her, affection in his eyes.

"I love you too." She holds up a fork.

"Want a bite?" He shakes his head.

"Not yet, still recovering from being next to you." She winks at him, looking down at the plate. She freezes. In chocolate syrup it read 'Will you marry me?' She looks up to see him holding a box in his hand. Her hand covers a mouth that was hanging open. "I know it might be a little soon, but I want you to know that I meant it when I said I love you. I want to build a life with you, raise the boys with you, wake up to your gorgeous face every morning. I love the way you laugh, the way you adore food, how much you care about your mates, how strong you are. I want forever with you and if you aren't ready that's okay. I just want you to know I am." He gets down on one knee, opening the box to reveal a gorgeous blue sapphire engagement ring. "Robena O'Reilly, will you do me the honor of marrying me?" Her eyes began to water, her heart feeling like it was gonna burst. She nods, finally moving her hand away.

"Yes." 

"Yes?" She nods, sniffling.

"Yes, of course I'll marry you!" She throws her arms around him, kissing him. They stand up, he puts the ring on her, kissing her hand. She looks at the ring, looking back up at him.

"We're getting married."

"We're getting married."

"We're getting married!" He hugs her tightly, making her laugh. They hear clapping, turning to see they seem to have caught the attention of the restaurant. He holds up her hand, smiling. "We're getting married!" She laughs again, pulling him in for a hug. In that moment she found herself thinking about Bobby. She pictured his face the moment she said yes. She couldn't help but feel a little upset he wasn't the one that wanted to marry her. 


	20. June 8, 2021

Priya looks around at Gary and Lottie.

"Why did we get a message to come over here?"

"I have no clue." Lottie answered, shrugging. Chelsea scrunches her face in thought.

"What do you think it's about? Her and Noah? The boys? Work? Her and Bobby?" Rocco looks around.

"Where is Bobby?" Carl nods towards the stairs.

"Putting the boys down for a nap." Marisol sits down on the couch.

"Whatever it is I hope we find out soon." Rocco sits next to her, putting his arm around her. Hope pats the spot next to her on the couch, smiling at Carl.

"Sit down, babe." Chelsea stood beside Priya and Rahim, brainstorming the possibilities. Gary put his arm around Lottie on the couch, leaning back. A minute later Roben and Noah come inside, laughing about something. She looks up to see everyone there.

"Hey! You all made it!" She looks around. "Where are the boys?" Hope nods to the stairs.

"Napping. What's up?" 

"Yeah, what was the reason you called us all over here?" Marisol agreed, glancing at Hope. Roben and Noah stood in the middle of the room, facing everyone. Noah put his arm around her shoulders.

"Well, we, uh, we have some news." Hope glances at Carl nervously. 

"Okay....you're not pregnant, are you?"

"What!? No!" Noah looks over at her. "Right?" She shakes her head. "Yeah, no!" Chelsea glances between them.

"So what is it then? It has to be big to call us all over here, right?" Roben nods.

"Well, we wanted to tell you....we're getting married!" Everyone stares at her with shock, no one saying anything. She holds up her hand to show the ring. Rahim looks over behind them, his face softening. 

"Oh..." Gary looks over, looking back at Roben. She turns around, seeing Bobby standing at the bottom of the stairs. The others exchanged sad looks, waiting to see his reaction. Roben clears her throat.

"Oh, uh...I was just telling this lot that, um..."

"I heard." He clears his throat, nodding. He meets her eyes, forcing a smile. "That's great, congratulations. I'm really happy for you." She smiles at him.

"Thanks." He looks at Noah, smiling.

"Congrats, mate."

"Thanks, man." The others come out of their daze, standing to pass around congratulations. Gary and Lottie meet Bobby's eyes, both of them seeing right through his act. He meets their eyes, his fake smile faltering a little. He walks over to Roben, giving her a supportive hug.

"I really am happy for you, but I have to go. I'm supposed to be meeting Maizie." 

"Right, thank you. You're gonna be there, right?" He looks at her a minute.

"You know it. I wouldn't miss it for the world." She sighs with relief.

"Thank you." She hugs him again. "I'm so lucky to have a friend like you."

"Anytime, lass." He gives Noah a hug, waving the others goodbye. Carl follows him out.

"Hey, Bobby! Wait up!" Bobby turns around.

"Yeah?" He walks over to him, putting his hand in his pockets.

"I, uh, wanted to see how you were."

"What do you mean? I'm great, why wouldn't I be? One of my best mates is marrying a great lad. My boys are gonna have a good stepfather that's gonna love them like their his own." 

"Mate, come on. It's me. I can see you're not being honest with yourself." He looks over at a bird in a nearby tree. 

"I'm fine. Really I am."

"Bobby..." He finally looks at him, sighing.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I want to know how you really feel. I want to make sure you're okay." He shake his head.

"The only woman I've ever loved, the mother of my kids...is marrying another man. A man she only got with because instead of talking to her I shut her out. I pushed her away and forced her to move on. I realized when it was too late that I still loved her. And now they're engaged." He scratches his nose. 

"I'm sorry. I thought that's what was going on...have you talked to her?"

"And tell her what? 'Oh, by the way, I still love you. I know, you're engaged to another man. A man you love and who is a good mate of mine. And I told you I didn't love you like that anymore, but I did. I just didn't know how to deal with it so I acted like a jerk and hurt you instead. But is there any chance you still love me?' Yeah, that would go well."

"Bobby, come on. She'd be more understanding than that. I think she still loves you too, maybe she'd choose you." He shakes his head again.

"Nah, she really loves him. I'm not gonna mess that up for her. I need to go." He turns, heading back to his car.

********

He sits across from her at the small table in the coffee shop. He looks down at the mug in front of him, the steam dancing in swirls.

"Bobby?" He looks up. "Are you listening?"

"What? I'm sorry, I was lost in thought. What's up?"

"I wanted to see if you wanted to do something tonight. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"You look distracted."

"I was but I'm fine, really. I'm good. Uh, sure. What did you have in mind?" She looks at him carefully. "I'm fine, really."

"Bobby...you know you can tell me anything."

"I know I can. It's nothing." She crosses her arms, sitting back in the chair.

"Bobby. Don't make me call one of your mates." He sighs, rubbing his face.

"It's not exactly a comfortable conversation to have with you."

"Ooh, it's about Roben, isn't it?"

"What? No, of course not." She gives him an unamused expression. "Fine, it is."

"What happened? Did you two get into a fight?"

"No, not at all. We're fine."

"So what is it? Is it her and Noah?"

"A bit..."

"What happened with them?" 

"They, uh, they got engaged last night." Her face softens.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I know it's not easy for you."

"It's fine, we haven't been together in over a year. Besides, she's really happy and he's a good lad. The boys adore him."

"True...but I know how much you care about her."

"I mean yeah...but I missed my chance. A long time ago." She takes his hand.

"Have you told her how you felt?"

"No, she's happy. I'm not messing that up for her again."

"But maybe she feels the same way."

"No, she doesn't. She would've said something by now."

"No, because you told her you didn't love her anymore. So why would she tell you she still loves you when she thinks you don't love her. Don't the boys deserve a shot of their family being together?"

"They deserve to have happy parents, we don't work as a couple."

"But one of their parents isn't happy."

"And the one they see the most is. That's what's important." She sighs.

"Why are you fighting this?"

"You're the one that told me to let her go. You told me she didn't deserve to be hurt anymore."

"That was before I got an inside view of what this is doing to you. That was just from what you told me."

"Nothing's changed from then though."

"Yes, you're more in love with her than ever. You're letting your friend have what you want, without her even knowing."

"I've done it before, I can do it again."

"What do you mean?"

"I knew I had feelings for her when she was dating Miles, I ignored it and never admitted it...but I knew deep down that's what it was. But she was happy with him, so I didn't get between them. She's happy with Noah, I'm not getting between them either."

"It's different this time though."

"How?"

"You've actually been together. You've known what it feels like to be with her, you know what it felt like for her to love you. You have kids together. You need to tell her how you feel."

"Maizie...I can't. What if she doesn't feel the same? Or what if I make her confused and she gets torn between choosing me or Noah? Or what if Noah decides he doesn't want to compete and breaks up with her. That would hurt her too. No matter what way this happens she's gonna get hurt and I can't hurt her anymore." She sighs.

"I hate seeing you hurting like this."

"It's just a taste of what I did to her." He shakes his head, leaning back in his chair. He looks out the window, trying to straighten out his thoughts.

"When you see your future what do you see?"

"Dinnae ken. I used to see her in it...but now it just seems blank."

"When you see her what do you feel?" He shakes his head, getting up.

"I can't do this right now, Maizie. I'm sorry, I need to go do something. I need to distract myself." She stands up quickly, grabbing his hand.

"Bobby."

"I can't, please." She pulls him to her, kissing him. After a minute he kisses her back, pulling her closer. After a few intense minutes he pulls away slowly. "What was that for?"

"To stop you from leaving." He smiled at her.

"It did more than that."

"Oh? Like what?" 

"All I could think about was snogging you." She smiled at him.

"Maybe I should be your band aid then." He chuckles, leaning down and kissing her again.

********

"So she's okay with being your rebound?" 

"It doesn't feel like she is. We've hung out a few times but she knew exactly where my head was at. We grafted a bit but mostly we just talked, never really snogged or anything....but today...." He smiled, thinking back to the moment she kissed him. Gary raises his eyebrows at him.

"Bobby, are you telling me you really like this bird?"

"I think I do. I've always thought she was gorgeous, I liked hanging out with her but I was so wrapped up in Roben I didn't really consider her for a relationship....but I think I want to be in one with her."

"What's not making sense is she knows you love someone else and she still wants to be with you."

"I don't get it either. I really don't."

"You're sure it's not some kind of trick?"

"What kind of trick could it be???"

"I really don't know if I'm honest."

"But we aren't actually together yet. But she told me she'd be willing to try if I'm up for it."

"So are you going to tell her you want to try?"

"I do, but I don't want to just use her to get over Roben. I really do like her, but I want to make sure I'm more dedicated to her before we're actually in a couple."

"When are you going to tell her then?"

"Next time I talk to her. She said she wanted me to think about it." He fishes his phone out of his pocket as it begins to ring. He smiles at the screen. Gary rolls his eyes, getting up.

"I'm gonna go take a shower." He calls over his shoulder. Bobby swipes the screen, holding it up.

"Hey, I was just talking about you."

"You were? Really?"

"Yeah."

"Good things I hope."

"Of course they were. What are you up to?"

"Just got bored, thought I'd see what you were doing. Did you still want to hang out tonight?"

"I'd love to, what did you want to do?"

"We could go see a movie."

"Cool, sounds good to me. Meet you there at 8?"

"Perfect. I can't wait."

"Neither can I. It's been pretty hard to stop thinking about you."

"Oh really? What do you think about?"

"Snogging you again."

"Bobby!" He laughs.

"I'm mostly kidding. I've been thinking about what it would be like to...you know, be with you."

"And?"

"And, I'd like that. But I want to make sure I can focus on being with you before we're official. I don't want you to feel like you come in second place, I want you to be first place."

"Really??"

"Well, yeah. It sounds like a rebound but I don't want it to be."

"Where have you been all my life?" He bites his lip.

"Scotland."

"I should've moved to Scotland a long time ago then." He laughs again.

"Things would be a lot different if you had."

"So, when you're thinking about me, what else comes to mind?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you ever think about what it would be like going to second base?" He blushes, thankful she couldn't see him.

"Oh, uh, well, I mean, I have, well no, but yes-" She laughs.

"Are you nervous?"

"A little bit, but in a good way. I didn't think you'd want me to think about you like that yet."

"We'll see how tonight goes then." He clears his throat.

"I'm definitely looking forward to it then." 

"Good. I need to go run a couple errands before tonight so I've got to go. I'll see you at 8."

"Can't wait."

"Bye, hun."

"Bye, Maizie." He looks at his phone a minute, replaying their conversation. He smiles, standing up and going to his room.


	21. July 7, 2021

Lottie, Maizie and Marisol bring drinks in to the boys in the living room. She plops down next to him, putting her hand on his leg.

"What'd we miss?"

"Nothing special, just listening to Rocco talking about auras again." She smiles at him.

"And? You don't believe in that stuff?"

"Do you?"

"I don't exactly think it's impossible, I'm open to the idea of it." Lottie smiles at her.

"I knew I liked you. What about tea leaves?"

"Now that has to be some serious magic."

"Ugh, I love you. If you and Bobby don't work out, marry me." 

"Hey! Stop trying to steal my woman! She's mine, you have to go find you're own." He replied playfully. Marisol winks at him.

"What if I want a turn with her?" He puts his arm around Maizie, pointing to Gary and Rocco.

"You lads need to take better care of your girls so they stop going after mine." Maizie laughs, kissing his cheek.

"Don't worry, babe. They couldn't steal me from you." 

"Good, I rather like you." She looks into his eyes.

"I like you too." She kisses him softly, making him smile. Gary meets Lottie's eyes, taking her hand. 

"Maybe I should take better care of you, I must be doing something wrong if you're looking at women now."

"I mean, I could do without that helicopter move you try." Rocco spits on his drink.

"The what?" 

"It's as horrible as it sounds. It's the sex move he keeps trying to do that I'm just not down for." She rolls her eyes, teasing him playfully. Marisol looks at Gary curiously.

"I'm almost interested enough to see what it looks like...with clothes on of course." Bobby raises his hand.

"I'll help! Use me!" Gary laughs, standing up.

"Come on then, mate." He gets Bobby into position, swinging his arms around attempting to imitate a helicopter. Everyone else burst out laughing, doubling over on the couches. Maizie tries to talk in between breaths.

"What...is...the...arms...for????" Bobby sits next to her on the couch again. "Please tell me you don't have any moves like that?"

"No, mine are all normal I promise." Marisol looks over at them curiously.

"You two haven't slept together yet?" Bobby blushes, clearing his throat.

"Uhh....well...." 

"No, we haven't. We want to make sure we're both ready before we go there." 

"Interesting...." Bobby raises his eyebrows.

"Well now that we've brought my sex life into it, I think I'm calling it a night. I will see you lot later." He gets up, holding his hand out to Maizie. She waves bye to everyone, following him back to his room. She smiles at him when they get inside. "What?"

"You're cute." He chuckles.

"I'm glad you think so."

"Thanks for covering my by the way."

"Hey, I didn't want you to get picked on for holding off. I think it's really sweet, even though I'm still a bit disappointed. But I get why and I like that you think about things like that." He kisses her softly.

"I want to too, but I want to make sure it's the right time. I really like you and I don't want to mess it up." She looks into his eyes.

"It would be pretty hard for you to mess it up." She gives him a quick peck, looking through her overnight bag. "Goddamn it."

"What's wrong?"

"I didn't bring any pajamas."

"Want to borrow something of mine?"

"I don't think you're stuff would fit." He smiles, opening the door to his closet. 

"Take your pick." She walks over to the closet, looking through it carefully. She sees an old t-shirt that had the name of his old band on it. 

"What's Paisley Cuddle?"

"That's uh, my old band."

"Band?"

"Aye, I used to be in a punk band...." She bites her lip.

"That's hot. I didn't know you were a musician. What did you play?"

"The bass mostly. Sometimes I'd step in for the drummer but I liked the bass."

"Ooh, that's really hot." She takes the shirt out of the closet, looking at it. She looks over at him. "May I?" He nods, grabbing his own pajama pants. "Okay, I'll be right back." She walks out of the room, giving him a chance to change quickly. She walks back in just as he finishes pulling his pants up. "The bathroom is taken."

"Just change in here." She raises her eyebrows. "I'll go get a drink or something and give you a chance."

"Are you sure?"

"I'll go get a drink or something and give you a chance." She takes his hand before he can open the door. He turns to look at her.

"Don't." He blushes looking into her eyes. "We sleep next to each other, half the time I'm wearing a nightgown. I think you could handle watching me get dressed." A small smirk reveals a dimple, making him wanting to kiss her again. She unbuttons her jeans, sliding them down. He sees her black lacey boy shorts, his cheeks getting hotter. She pulls her shirt over her head, her eyes not leaving him. He sees her matching bra, his throat going dry. She puts her hands behind her to unhook her bra. He steps up, putting his hands on hers to stop her. He looks into her vibrant green eyes, his heart pounding. "What are you thinking about?" He answers honestly, his eyes not leaving hers.

"This." He leans down, kissing her softly. He runs his hands up her back, unclasping her bra. He slides it off her, picking her up. He lays her down on the bed, taking his time kissing her. He looks down at her, looking at her body for the first time. He bites his lip, looking back into her eyes. He kisses her again, moving his kisses down to her neck. He trails his kisses down her chest, to her right breast. He takes her nipple in his mouth, sucking gently. She sighs softly, arching her back. He teases her other nipple with his hand, making her moan softly. He moves to her other breast, nibbling on it gently. He rubs her outside of her panties with his hand, loving the way she sighed. He looks up at her, kissing her, rubbing her a little harder. She bites his lip, making him moan softly. 

"Please?" He looks into her eyes, unable to stop himself when he sits up. He pulls her panties off, taking a minute to look at her completely naked body. 

"You're so damn beautiful." He kisses her again, rubbing her clit gently. She whimpers softly against his kiss. He puts one finger inside her, making her hold onto him tighter. 

"Fuck, Bobby." He fingers her for a minute before adding another finger, making her lift her hips. "Fuck, yes." She whispered against his lips. 

"Tell me what you want."

"I want to feel you inside me." She reaches down, rubbing him outside of his pants. "Do you want to fuck me?" He kisses her hard, guiding her to sit up. Without breaking their kiss she pulls his pajama pants off him. He grabbed a condom out of his drawer to his bedside table, putting it on. He gets on top of her, teasing her. 

"You want me to fuck you?" She nods, running her hands through his hair. He slowly thrust into her, a moan escaping his throat. "Fuck, Maizie." He explored every part of her, taking his time being with her. Her moans getting louder, coming more often. He liked hearing her say his name, liked the way she kissed him like she needed to taste him, holding onto him like she never wanted to let go. 

"Fuck, Bobby, I'm gonna come." He moves faster, holding her leg back to go deeper inside her. She bites his lip hard. "Oh, fuck yes." She cries out his name as she comes, pushing him over the edge. He kisses her softly for a minute before he gets up. They lay in bed, cuddling as they try to catch their breath. He smiles down at her.

"So that's what I've been missing?"

"I could say the same for you." He chuckles.

"I'm a stupid, stupid man." She sits up, kissing him again. She wraps her leg around his waist. "I'm gonna need a minute, babe."

"Then just snog me." He loses track of time kissing her. The only thing he could think about was the feeling of her lips against his. 

"I could snog you forever, I swear." She smiles.

"I wouldn't say no to that."

"Good, I just might then." She gets on top of him, kissing him hard.

"Are you sure that's all you want to do?" She sits up, her hands on his chest. He bites his lip, looking into her eyes.

"You know how to drive a man crazy." She smiles, sliding down and taking him in her hand.

********

"What'd you do today?"

"We had Rocco and Marisol over. The six of us hung out for a bit."

"The six of you?"

"Yeah, Maizie was here too."

"Oh, that's good. So they're doing good then?" Lottie hears noises coming from his bedroom when she goes to the kitchen, making her smirk.

"From the sounds I'm hearing, very good."

"What do you mean?"

"I think you know what I mean."

"Wait...like sexy noises?"

"Well, yeah. I guess they finally reached that place."

"What are you talking about?"

"They said earlier they were waiting until they both felt ready. But from what I heard just now I think they both got to that place."

"So this is their...first time?"

"Yup. Anyway, the boys go down okay?" Roben frowns, staring out her window. _**They hadn't slept together this whole time? Why? Why did they choose now? Does he love her? Was he waiting until he felt like he loved her?**_ "Roben?"

"Huh? What?"

"I asked if the boys went down okay."

"Oh, yeah. They were pretty exhausted after the park."

"That's good, more time for you and Noah."

"Oh, he went home tonight. He had to open the library tomorrow and his place is closer to work."

"Oh. I thought the two of you would be pretty busy right now." She chews on her lip, thinking. **_Would he tell me if he loved her? We've talked about pretty much everything since March. Why hasn't he told me any of this? Does he not trust me anymore? Is it still too weird for him? I thought we moved past that. Does he think I'll get upset? I'm the one that set them up. He should know I want him to be happy...is he happy now?_** "Earth to Roben."

"What?"

"Are you alright? You keep going quiet."

"I'm fine, just tired. I think I'm gonna go to bed actually."

"Oh, okay. I'll see you tomorrow then, yeah?"

"Yeah, goodnight. Love you."

"Love you too."

"Tell Gary I said goodnight and I love him too."

"I will. Text me if you need me."

"I will." She hangs up, still looking out her window. She sighs, pacing her room. "What is wrong with me? Why am I so worried about this? His life isn't my problem anymore, I shouldn't have any say in his relationships. He's happy and that's all that matters. Right? Right." She sighs, getting into bed. For a while she just lays there, staring out the window. Eventually, she falls asleep. Her dreams making her feel just as restless, confusing swirling thoughts around Noah and Bobby. She wakes up, looking at the clock. _**Why do I always wake up at 2 am? Ugh, I swear I hate myself. I wish Noah was here, it's hard to sleep without him now.**_ She picks up her phone, looking through pictures of her and Noah. She smiles at them. **_In a few months he'll be here for good. We'll be married, living happily ever after._** She looks at her engagement ring, biting her lip. She let her mind wander to visions of their wedding day. She gets up, putting on one of his shirts before she goes back to bed. _**This is as close to him as I'm getting tonight. Might as well try to get more sleep.**_


	22. August 22, 2021

She looks down at her phone, smiling.

_Hey, lass. What're you up to?_

_Just reading a book while the boys are with Priya and Rahim._

_Aww, I bet they're having a blast. They love their Auntie Priya and Uncle Rahim._

_They really do. What are you doing?_

_I actually wanted to talk to you about something._

_Okay, what's up?_

_I was wondering if it would be okay for Roben to meet the boys..._

_She hasn't met them yet?_

_No. I thought it would be better to hold off this time. I wanted to wait until I felt like we reached that point. And I wanted you to be okay with it._

_Wait, what point?_

_Where I felt like we were serious enough._

_Serious? Serious how?_

_Like more secure in our relationship._

_Like you love her serious?_

_I mean, maybe. Dinnae ken._

_You think you could love her?_

_I think I might. She's a really good person, she's so supportive and understanding. She never makes me feel bad about anything._

_Oh._

_What?_

_I hadn't realized you two were getting so serious._

_I mean we haven't quite said the L-word to each other...but I think we might soon._

_Oh._

_Is something wrong?_

_No._

_Are you sure?_

_Yeah._ She puts down her phone, frowning. She makes herself some tea, sitting by the window. Her phone beeps two more times, making her groan. She picks it up, seeing two texts from Bobby.

_Roben, are you alright? You seem off._

_Lass?_ She rolls her eyes.

_Isn't Maizie your lass?_

_What?_

_I'm just saying, maybe that's something we stop._

_What? Me calling you lass? I've always called you that..._

_When we had feelings for each other. But I'm engaged now and you're dating someone else._

_What does that have to do with anything? I still care about you._

_So? I just think it's a little inappropriate. You should stop._

_What is going on with you?_

_Nothing._

_Really? You're acting like you're mad at me for something._

_I'm not._

_Is it because I asked if Maizie could meet the boys?_

_No._

_Then what is it?_

_Nothing._

_Roben, why won't you tell me?_

_There's nothing to tell. She can meet them. I'd rather not be there._

_Wait, what? You said before you wanted to be there. I thought maybe we could all go do something._

_That should be something for you two._

_But...what? What's wrong with you?_

_Good idea, make me feel like something's wrong with me._

_You know I didn't mean it like that. I meant it like there's definitely something wrong and you won't tell me. Did I do something?_

_No._

_I think I did, tell me what it was._

_Why?_

_Because I want to fix it._

_Nothing to fix._

_What?_

_Gotta go._ She puts her phone on silent, putting it in her pocket. She puts on her shoes, grabbing her keys on the way out the door.

********

"I thought I'd find you here." She turns to see Lottie walking over to her.

"What are you doing here?"

"Bobby called me."

"Oh."

"He told me you were upset at him." She doesn't say anything, she just looks back at the view from the hill she sat on. "Why are you mad at him?"

"I'm not."

"You seem like it. Is it because he asked if Maizie could meet the boys?"

"No, I think she's a lovely person."

"Then what is it? What happened between you two? Did he say something stupid?" She holds out her phone to her. Lottie reads through the texts, looking at her confused when she finishes. "I don't get it."

"Get what?"

"Why did you suddenly get mad at him half way through."

"Dinnae ken." Lottie reads through the texts again.

"Why...why did you want to know if they were serious?"

"I just wanted to know."

"But...I thought you didn't care."

"I don't."

"You're acting like you do." She crosses her legs, picking at the grass in front of her. "Roben...do you love him?"

"What?"

"Do you still love him?"

"No, what makes you think I would?"

"Because you start grilling him about his relationship, then you get pissed and shut him out. Now you're here pouting about him. It bothers you he really likes her."

"She's a lovely girl, I don't mind him seeing her."

"You just mind that he thinks he's falling in love with her."

"No. I'm engaged now, I love Noah. It doesn't matter what he does."

"Roben, come on. It's me." She looks at her, trying to work through everything running through her head. "You can love more than one person. If you feel this strongly about him being with someone else then don't you think it's possible you still have feelings for him?"

"Dinnae ken." She sighs.

"Okay, let's say you do. What would you do about it?" She thinks a minute, looking at the sunset.

"Nothing."

"Why?"

"He's happy and I'm getting married. He's the one that ended us, he's the one that decided he didn't love me anymore."

"How are you sure he didn't?"

"He told me."

"Like he told you before he didn't love you when he was denying his feelings for you?"

"That was different."

"How?"

"We hadn't given us a shot."

"And just because you two did it means he meant it this time?"

"Well, yeah. Lottie, he was the one that walked away. He was the one that moved on and told me to move on. Why does any of this matter? He's the one that decided we weren't worth it, that I wasn't worth it. He didn't want to fight for us, fight for me. He gave up. I waited and waited. I waited for him to want to talk it out and work on us and he didn't. He moved on behind my back, he hopped into bed with someone else when he knew I still wanted him. He is the one that broke me, I didn't break him. You don't hurt someone you love. He didn't love me, I don't think he ever did. Maybe I was just someone to fill his needs until he made it back home. Or maybe he kept me as a back up until he met someone else. Which he did. Dinnae ken. All I know is he meant it when he said he didn't love me." Lottie looked at her sadly. "What?"

"You're crying..." She touches her cheeks, feeling the hot tears on her hand. She sniffles, wiping her face. "You're still hurt...."

"No, just mad."

"Roben, stop lying to yourself. You can't move on until you come to terms with this. You need to let yourself feel this, to work through this. And you need to do it now before you get married in a few months. I'm not judging you, I still wish you two would've made it work. But more importantly I want you to be happy...and healed." She covers her face, embarrassed by the bewildering tears. Lottie pulls her into a hug, letting her cry on her shoulder.

"What is wrong with me? I have this absolutely incredible man that I'm engaged to. We're in the middle of planning a beautiful wedding, I love him. He loves me. But as soon as my ex moves on, really moves on...it pisses me off. Why? Why should I still care? We've made up and have been mates again...I should be happy for him like he's happy for me. Why can't I just be happy for him?"

"Do you want an answer or just for me to listen?"

"I don't think it matters."

"I think you're still hurting about how you two ended. And I think you still love him. It's okay, it doesn't mean you don't love Noah. You just haven't had any closure with Bobby. I think you two need to talk this through, make apologies and amends the proper way. Not just ignore it until you two move on." She shakes her head.

"I don't want him to know. It'll make things weird with us again. I don't want that."

"So what are you gonna do now? I mean, you kinda just got pissed at him and left him wondering what he did. Doesn't he deserve an explanation of that?"

"I'll just tell him I'm having an off day."

"And how does that explain the rapid questions of his relationship?"

"I wanted to know since he wanted to introduce her to the boys." Lottie sighs.

"Okay. I can't make you do what I want. If you think this is what's best then okay. Just don't hold it in anymore. Talk to me about it. We're like sisters, remember?" She nods, hugging her.

"I know. I love you, Lottie."

"I love you too, hun." She pulls back, wiping her face. She takes a deep breath. 

"God, I feel like a mess."

"Know what that means?" Roben smiles at her.

"Wine and ice cream?"

"Yup! Let's go." She stands up, holding out her hand. She smiles up at her, taking her hand. 

"I'm glad I have you."

"I am too."

********

"Did you find out what was wrong?"

"Yeah, I did."

"And?"

"And it's not my place to tell you."

"So you're not gonna tell me anything?"

"Nope."

"Why? What's it about? What did I do? What did I say? One second she's fine and the next she's pissed at me." Lottie sighs on the other line.

"It's not anything you did today."

"What did I do before? We've been great the past few months. We haven't fought once."

"Okay, when was the last time you two weren't okay?"

"Dinnae ken, Christmas?"

"Isn't Christmas when she went to Scotland so you could see the boys?"

"Well yeah."

"And you two were good then."

"Okay, well when then?"

"That's what I'm asking you." He thinks a minute.

"I mean there was those couple months when we weren't great...because of Jace."

"Is that the last time you two weren't okay?"

"I think so...."

"Okay."

"Wait...what does that have anything to do with today?"

"Not much really."

"So it was about then?"

"Sort of."

"Just tell me."

"I can't." He runs through the scenarios in his head. 

"Was it like a PTSD thing because I want Maizie to meet the boys?"

"She swears that's not it. She swears she likes Maizie and doesn't mind that."

"I'm so confused."

"God, you're thick."

"What?? You won't tell me anything."

"See if Gary can help you figure it out, I gotta go." She hangs up before he can say anything else. He sighs, going to Gary's room.

"Hey, mate. I need your help."

"What's up?" He explains the whole conversation and everything Lottie had said. "So what, you can't figure out why she's upset?"

"No, not even a little. What did I do? I thought we were past that Jace thing." Gary frowns, thinking a minute.

"Do you think it's possible it's not the actual Jace thing?"

"What do you mean?"

"What if it's why she got mad at you then? It wasn't just about her meeting the boys behind her back."

"You mean when she found out I moved on?"

"I mean, maybe."

"Why would that still bother her?"

"I don't know, maybe she never worked through it."

"But she's engaged to Noah."

"And? She can't still be hurt? Some wounds don't heal."

"You really think she's hurting still? That what I did still hurts her?"

"It's possible, right?" He sighs, rubbing his face. A fresh wave of guilt takes over. 

"This is exactly why she can't know about my feelings. No matter what I do, I end up hurting her. I really broke her, I fucked her up. I wasn't even trying to and I broke her. Fuck." Gary patted his shoulder.

"Hey, come on. Just go talk to her."

"She doesn't want to talk to me. If she's still hurt, I don't blame her."

"So fix it. Talk to her about it."

"What do I even say?"

"That's not for me to answer. That's up to you." He sighs, standing up. 

"Fuck me." 

"No thanks, mate. I got a sexy little witch who's coming back over tonight." Bobby rolls his eyes.

"Just move in with her."

"Maybe I will." He smiles, walking out the door.


	23. August 23, 2021

She stirs when she smells the coffee, making her smile. She makes her way downstairs.

"I swear I love you-" She freezes when she sees him sitting at the table with Lottie. "What, uh, what are you doing here?"

"We've got plans."

"We do?"

"Yup. It can wait until you drink your coffee though. I take it from the three empty bottles of wine on the counter you need it." She clears her throat, going to the counter. She looks at the mug waiting for her, frowning. 

"Is this mine?"

"Yup." She looks at Lottie.

"Don't look at me, I didn't make it." She looks over at Bobby curiously.

"You think I don't remember how you take it?" She doesn't say anything, she takes the cup and sits down beside Lottie. She looks down at her cup, fighting the urge to look at him. She chanced a peak, meeting his eyes. She clears her throat, looking back down and taking a sip of coffee. 

"This is awkward guys. You really need to fix this." Roben shrugs.

"I don't know what you mean." Bobby raises his eyebrows, nodding his head.

"Right, well I'm gonna make me another cuppa while you finish that. When you're done getting ready, let me know." She rolls her eyes, getting up and taking her coffee upstairs. She angrily gets dressed, putting on her makeup in a huff. She groans looking in the mirror before she finishes her coffee. She brushes her teeth aggressively before stomping downstairs. He looks up from the table, staring at her. 

"What?"

"Nothing. You look nice." She frowns at him.

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"No, I mean it. It's been a while since I've seen you wear that." She looks down at her outfit. A pair of black skinny jeans and a black lace crop top tied in a knot above her belly button. She clears her throat, crossing her arms.

"Can we go now?"

"Yup." He grabs his jacket, heading towards the door. "See ya, Lozza." 

"Have fun you two." 

********

She stares out the window angrily, not paying attention to where they were going. He stops by some houses she didn't recognize.

"Where are we?"

"You'll see." She follows him past the dead end with no houses on it. They walk to the line of trees. She follows him, watching him looking around.

"What are you looking for?" He smiles walking up to a tree. He points to the star carved in the tree. "When? How?"

"I'll explain later." She follows him a bit longer until they reach a clearing. They came across a river, a small waterfall making the pitter patter sound like music. She looks around in amazement. It looked like a picture out of National Geographic. The trees perfectly green, the water pure blue, the birds flying around over head, some flowers scattered across the landscape.

"What is this place?"

"Our place." 

"Our what?" She gives him a confused look. He sighs.

"When we came here with Miles, you weren't feeling good and went to bed early. We walked around a while, I showed him my Auntie's old house. He saw the forest and wanted to check it out, so we did. And we found this place. He wanted to take you here but he didn't get a chance to. So I thought it was time you see it." 

"And that makes this our place?"

"No, the fact that you and I are now the only ones to come here makes it ours. Just ours. No fiancé's or girlfriends." She walks over to the edge of the small river. 

"Why did you bring me here?"

"Because I fucked up." She didn't turn around, afraid to see his face. 

"What do you mean?"

"I thought and thought about what I could've done to upset you. And don't say you weren't because you definitely were. And still are. The only thing I figured out was the last time I introduced the boys to a girl, it was Jace. And you met Jace when I threw it at you out of no where I moved on."

"Okay?"

"And we never really talked about it. I said sorry but I only half meant it." She hugs herself, trying not to lose control of her emotions again. He walked over to stand beside her. "Roben, I am so so sorry for everything I've ever done to you. I swear I'm just that stupid. If I could take it all back I would in a heartbeat. I would go back and stop myself from making one of the biggest mistakes of my life." She looks at him, seeing the sincerity in his eyes. "I've been so stupid and I'm trying to make up for it. I know I can't take that back but I'm trying to make it better. I don't want to hurt you anymore. I'm done being stupid."

"Which mistake?"

"What?"

"Which mistake was it you were talking about?"

"I have made quite a few, haven't I?" She lets a small smile slip. He sighs, looking down. "The one that comes to mind is how I acted in Spain and the following months."

"What do you mean?"

"I should've...talked to you. I should've...never gotten with Jace. I...I didn't actually mean it when I said I was over you. It took a lot longer for that to happen than I care to admit." He thought he saw disappointment flash in her eyes. "I did still love you, I just didn't handle it very well."

"Are you saying you regret giving up on us? Is that..."

"It's hard to explain. Sort of. I do in a sense it hurt you and it hurt me. It hurt our kids and our mates. I mean, we aren't in that place anymore...right?" She thought she saw hope in his expression. She forces a smile.

"Right."

"I still care about you so much, and I hate that you might still be hurting because of me. I'm sorry. I mean it." She hugs him, letting a tear fall. He holds onto her tightly, trying to steady his heartbeat. 

"When did you find out you still loved me?" He hesitates, wanting not to hurt her anymore.

"Christmas, when you answered the door in Noah's shirt." She looks up at him shocked. 

"Christmas? Is that why you left?"

"Aye. It hurt seeing you in his shirt. Seeing him hanging on you like that. And that new mark you had on your neck..."

"Why...why didn't you say anything?"

"I realized I had already hurt you and I didn't want you to hurt anymore." She hugs him again, considering her next words.

"You wouldn't have hurt me. I would've chose you." He bites his lip, trying to stay in control of his thoughts. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Do you remember my New Year's party?"

"Aye." She pauses, trying to figure out what to say. 

"Do...you remember when...we were dancing with Jace and Noah?"

"Aye..."

"And we looked at each other?"

"Mhmm...."

"Were you feeling what I was feeling? Did that song...it felt like...did you..."

"Aye. I felt it too. It felt like you were choosing him over me when really I pushed you into his arms. If I wasn't stupid I would've been the one you danced with that night." She looks up at him.

"You wanted that too?" He nods. She sighs, resting her head against his chest again.

"Why do we always make such a mess of things?"

"We lost the piece of us that stopped us from being stubborn and stupid." 

"True." He just holds her for a while, letting the comfortable silence drag on. "Can I ask something else?"

"Sure."

"Were you the one that left that CD on my vanity in my room on my birthday?"

"Uh, yeah....did you ever listen to it?"

"No. I recognized the song on there from New Years'...I didn't want to relive it. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I didn't think you would. But now that we've, hopefully, fixed things maybe you will."

"Maybe." He smiles, kissing the top of her head.

"Good enough. Now we need to get going."

"I guess so." She lets go, looking around the space one more time. "Thanks for bringing me here."

"Anytime, lass. Remember, just me and you. This is sacred ground." She smiles, rolling her eyes. She pushes him when she walks by him.

"Come on, dumbass."

********

Gary lays his head in her lap.

"So what really happened?"

"Ugh, these two are killing me. She realized she loves him still."

"That's great!"

"How??"

"They can get back together now!"

"They won't. They're both very insistent that the other doesn't know, so keep your mouth shut." 

"Damn it, so close." He groans, making her smile.

"I know. I want them to work out too." After a minute he looks up at her.

"Do you think she's really going to marry Noah?"

"I think so...."

"Do you think she should?"

"I think she should do whatever makes her happy...but only if she's absolutely sure it's what she wants."

"So no, but you don't wanna sound like a bad mate so you give a neutral answer." She laughs, swatting his forehead.

"Shut up."

"Make me." She rolls her eyes, scratching his head softly. "I hope she doesn't. I hope Bobby tells her before then that he loves her."

"But he also is starting to fall in love with Maizie."

"But she'll never be Roben. He'll never love her like he loves Roben."

"True. That's what I think about Noah. She loves him, but she'll never love him like she loves Bobby."

"They're so difficult, they're giving my gray hair." 

"I thought I saw some silver." He scoffed at her.

"I was joking!" She laughs, rubbing his chest.

"I know, I am too. You don't have any gray hair."

"Good."

"Though, you'd look really sexy. You'd be a silver fox kind of bloke." He smiles at her.

"Really? You think so?" She nods, looking into his bright blue eyes. "Hey, Lottie?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you marry me?"

"What?"

"Will you marry me? I don't have a ring yet, I didn't quite plan on this yet."

"So what changed your mind?"

"I realized how much I love you. I don't want us to get torn apart like Bobby and Roben. I want it to be me and you forever." She smiles down at him. "So...will you marry me?"

"Of course I will." She leans down, kissing him softly. "Forever and ever, babe."

"Always."


	24. September 15, 2021

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this song kept playing through my head when it came to any scene or memory of or about Miles. And I played it on repeat while I wrote this one. It was tough writing this one, these parts always hurt my own feelings. Life of an empath. 😂😂 The song I was thinking of is Death bed (Coffee For Your Head). But I definitely cried writing this. Enjoy the misery. 😂❤

She slept soundly, her dreams pulsing with flashes of longing.

She runs around the tree, laughing. She looks behind her, the sun making his red hair look like fire.

"Bet you can't catch me!" He smiles, chasing her around the park. She jumped over benches, circled trees, hid behind bushes. She peeked around the side of the bush, trying to see if he was still looking for her. Suddenly she felt arms wrap around her waist, pulling her down. She squealed, laughter erupting the atmosphere. He rolled her onto her back, getting on top of her. "Not fair! You snuck up on me!" He smiled down at her.

"Don't be mad cause I won, lass." She scrunches her nose.

"You didn't win, you cheated."

"And hiding doesn't count as cheating?" 

"Nope." She looks into his deep blue eyes, her pulse racing. **_He's so damn handsome...how is it possible for his eyes to be that blue? They're bluer than the ocean or the sky._**

"What do I get for winning?"

"What do you want?" He thinks a moment, looking at her lips. He leans down, kissing her softly. _**I swear I'll never get enough of this.**_ He pulls away, his lips almost touching hers.

"Will you marry me?" She stares at him a minute, trying to figure out if he was serious.

"What?"

"That's what I want. I want to marry you. So, Roben, will you marry me?" She looks at the man above her, admiring every freckle, every laugh line, every stubble of hair. Admiring the different hues of blue meshing together in his eyes, the one teeny tiny brown freckle in his left eye. 

"Yes."

"Yes?" He looks at her anxiously awaiting her answer. She smiles, nodding. 

"Yes. Yes, I'll marry you." He smiles at her, his bright smile captivating her. He leans down, kissing her harder. She giggles against her lips. "I take it you're happy then?" 

"Hell yes I am! I get to marry the love of my life." He sits up, shouting over the bush they were hidden behind. "Bobby!! She said yes!!!" She hears Bobby scream from the distance. 

"No way! Woo!! Fuck yeah! I get a sister!!!" She laughs, making Miles look down at her, kissing her again. "Hey, no fucking in the park!" Bobby appears in her sight around the bush. She smiles up at him.

"Bobby! We're getting married!" He smiles down at them, his eyes shining. 

"I heard! Congrats, lass!" Miles pulls her up, hugging her. He picks her up, spinning her around.

"We're getting married!" She laughs, taking in every detail of the moment. The sound of her best friend and her new fiancé celebrating, the warm sun kissing her skin, the gentle breeze making the leaves dance, the sound of a bird in the nearby tree, the look of love on his face as he smiled at her. _**This is perfect. He's perfect.**_

"Es-tu heureux, mon amour?" He sets her down, gazing into her eyes.

"I've never been happier." 

********

She looks into her father's eyes, his gray eyes glassy with emotion. He sniffles, putting a hand on her cheek.

"I've dreaded this day for a long time...but you chose a wonderful man. I feel confident he'll love you for the rest of your lives." She smiles at him, putting her hand on his.

"Thank you, Daddy." She hugs him tightly. "I love you."

"I love you too." They hear the music start, he places her veil down over her face. She takes a deep breath, holding onto his arm. "Ready, sweetheart?" She smiled confidently. 

"Never been more ready in my life." He chuckled.

"That's my girl." The doors open, showing them the gorgeous scene in front of them. All of their closest friends and family stood, smiling at her. A lot of people started tearing up, admiring her elegance. Her dress was pure white with lace all over. The sweetheart neckline flowed with the mermaid flare perfectly. Her hair was put into a perfectly messy bun, loose curls hanging around her face. Her lips painted bright red, popping against her tan skin. Her eyes popped against the light eyeshadow her mom did. She sees Bobby beside Miles, smiling at her with a strange look in his eye. She finally looked at Miles, waiting for her at the other side of the aisle. As she begins to walk she sees tears in his eyes, making her own eyes well up. He looked at her like she was the most beautiful person in the world, and to him she was. 

"Who gives this lovely bride away?" Her dad clears his throat.

"I do." He kisses her cheek, placing her hand in Miles. He squeezes both of their hands, looking at Miles. He sniffles, trying to hold back the tears. "Take care of my daughter. Love her the way she deserves." Miles nods.

"Forever and always." He barely paid attention to what the minister was saying, he couldn't stop staring at her. She was always beautiful but seeing her dressed like his bride made her even more gorgeous. It wasn't until Bobby nudged him he realized it was time for his vows, they agreed to write their own. He took a deep breath and looked into her eyes, completely forgetting his much practiced vows. "I had this whole special thing prepared, but I totally forgot it. So I'm just gonna say that, I feel like the luckiest lad in the world that someone like you fell for me. I love you more than I ever thought possible. You've made such a difference in my life, without even trying. Since the day I met you I couldn't go a day without seeing you. You're my best friend in the whole world, sorry Bobby-" he looked at Bobby standing beside the minister between them and smiled. "And I can't believe I get to be your husband. I promise to spend every single day doing whatever I can to make you laugh, just so I can see your smile. As long as I have you, I don't need anything else in this world." A tear slips down her cheek, quickly she wipes it away. She sniffles, smiling at him.

"I love you so much, Miles. I've always dreamed of this day. I dreamed of my dress, my family being here, my best friend being up here, and the man I would marry. You're the man I imagined and so much more. You're handsome, smart, funny, caring, generous, driven, passionate. I didn't think men like you existed, yet here I stand with you beside me. I promise I will always support you, cherish you and love you. For the rest of my life I want to do nothing but be with you." He sniffles, squeezing her hand. The rest of the ceremony went by with a flash, the only thing he focused on was kissing her when she was pronounced his wife. After they pull apart he looked into her eyes.

"I stand by you and you stand by me." She smiles.

"I love you and you love me."

"I choose you and you choose me."

"Always." Bobby watched them, unable to contain his happiness for them. She gives Miles a quick peck. "Race you." She pulls up her dress and takes off running down the aisle, he smiles as he chases after her. Bobby shakes his head, still smiling. 

"Those two are gonna make it, they're perfect for each other." 

********

She paces the waiting room, the bags under her eyes getting darker by the hour. She chewed her nails, brows furrowed in worry. 

"Lass?" She looks up and sees Bobby walking towards her. As soon as he meets her eyes relief floods her. The tears she didn't know she was holding back poured down her face. She ran up to him, throwing her arms around his neck. She sobs on his shoulder while he holds her tightly. He waits patiently while she cries. _**This has to be really bad if she's crying like this. She doesn't cry easy...what the hell happened?**_ She finally pulls back, looking into his eyes. He wipes her tears away, concern etched in his features. "What happened?" 

"Dinnae ken, I found him unconscious in our room. I couldn't get him to wake up and called an ambulance and I haven't heard anything since then." They sat down his arm still around her, silent tears apparent on her face. Their families slowly pile into the waiting room, hoping to hear anything new. After a while they all just sit there silently, anxiously looking at the door for the doctor. Finally, he appeared. He walked over to Roben, her and Bobby standing at the same time. 

"Mrs. O'Reilly? I'm Dr. Myers." 

"Hi, how is he?"

"He's should be waking up soon if you would like to sit with him." 

"Of course. What happened? Why was he unconscious?" He sighs. 

"It would seem that he has a brain tumor." Her face goes pale, her blood draining to her feet. Her head starts swimming, her ears ringing. She grabs Bobby's arm to steady herself, closing her eyes. After a minute she opens them, clearing her throat.

"How serious is it?" 

"It's terminal at this stage. We can still discuss chemo or other options to try and prolong it, but I'm afraid it would only postpone it a bit." She bites her lip, looking up at Bobby. For a long time they just look at each other before she starts to sob again. Bobby holds her close, rubbing her back. His own tears fell, his heart ached. He felt the anger and sadness building quickly in his chest. He tried his best to focus on comforting her, putting his own feelings aside. After a few minutes she pulls herself together and looks back at the doctor. 

"Can we see him now?" He looks between her and Bobby.

"Only two at a time." She nods, taking Bobby's hand. The walk to his room feels like everything is moving in slow motion. Her legs felt like they were jelly with lead for feet. Her face and hands felt numb, her ears sounded like they were full of water. They make it to his room, opening the door slowly. Her heart sinks at the sight of him in the hospital bed, he looked so pale and weak. She walks over, taking his hand. She kisses it, closing her eyes as more tears came. Bobby pulled a chair up behind her so she could sit while she held his hand. She sighs, looking at his face. She counted the freckles he had for the millionth time. She admired his laugh lines, his curly red hair a mess, his scruffy facial hair tinted the same color of his curls. Bobby rubs her back as they sit in silence, listening to the steady beep of the heart monitor. He finally stirs, his eyes fluttered open landing on her sitting next to him. She hadn't noticed him awake yet. He took a minute to look at her face, his heart sinking. Her cheeks were red, her eyes crimson and puffy. Her nose runny and matching the same hue as her cheeks. She had bags under her eyes. _**She already wasn't sleeping good, now she's been waiting around for God knows how long to see me. Fuck. I hoped she wouldn't find out yet.**_ He squeezed her hand gently, causing her to look up. She stood quickly, putting a hand on his face. 

"Miles! Thank God." She kissed him quickly, resting her head against his. "I've been so worried." He put his hand over hers, trying to comfort her.

"I'm sorry I worried you. I assume you know now." She sits up, frowning at him.

"You knew??" He sighs, nodding. "Why didn't you tell me? How long have you known?" 

"I've known a few months. At first they didn't think it was as advanced and there might be a chance, so I didn't tell you because I was hoping it would be successful. And then a couple months ago they determined that it was too advanced to beat it. I kept planning on telling you but...I just couldn't say it." Her face softened, her eyes glistening. "I'm so sorry I hid it from you." 

"How can you hide something like this? We went from talking about starting a family to now having to plan out the end of our life together now. We've been married a year and now you're dying. I'm going to lose you before we can even really start our life together." He scoots over, holding his arms open. She lays down, cuddling into him. Bobby gets up, bringing his attention to him. He clears his throat, trying to hide his emotions.

"I'm gonna give you two some time together." He quickly walks out before they can see his tears fall. Miles looks down at her, his eyes glassy.

"I'm so sorry, love."

"How long?" 

"A few months at best." She breaks down in tears again, flashes of their life together running through her mind. "I'm sorry. I wish I could see you become a mum. I know you'd be amazing at it."

"I only want to have your kids. So without you I won't be one, you won't miss anything." He wipes some tears away, looking into her stormy gray eyes.

"Love, don't stop living just because I'm not here. You need to live the best life you can, for me. I hope you find love again, I hope you get married and have kids with someone." She shakes her head.

"No, I don't want to. You're my person, no one can ever amount to you. You're the only one I'm going to love, you're the only one I want to love. I don't want a life like that with anyone but you." He sniffles.

"But my time is coming to an end, you won't get that with me. I wish you could, but God had different plans. You've always wanted that, you shouldn't change it just because of me. I wish I could be that man but it can't be." She sobs again, holding onto him tightly. He kisses the top of his head, silent tears streaming down his face. 

"Miles...you're the only one I want. You're the only one I'll ever want. I did want all that but since I met you I've only wanted it with you." For a long time they just hold each other, crying. 

"I'm sorry I have to leave you, love. But this next part of your life you're gonna have to do without me. Promise you'll fight every day to be happy. Promise you won't stop just because you miss me." 

"Don't leave me, I'm not ready yet. I'm not ready for goodbye."

"Neither am I, lass." 

"How am I gonna make it without you? You're everything to me." 

"You won't be alone. You have your family and Bobby. He'll be there through every step of the way." She shakes her head. 

"He's not you." His heart broke seeing the pain he was causing her. He knew he was breaking her, and it broke him.

********

Bobby sits in the chair beside Roben, the three of them laughing at some memories they were sharing. Miles smiles at them, taking in the moment. Bobby meets his eyes, holding eye contact. 

"Whatcha thinking about, mate?" Miles shakes his head.

"You two." Bobby raises his eyebrows.

"What about us?" 

"You two are why I had such a great life. You two need to be there for each other. Just because I won't be here doesn't mean I won't be watching out for you two...but you two will already be here. Take care of each other. Please." Roben and Bobby look at each other, taking each others hand. She gives it a gentle squeeze.

"I'll help him find a nice girl to settle down with." He shakes his head.

"I've come to figure out that lass doesn't exist." She sighs, looking back at Miles. Miles catches the look he gives Roben, the longing hidden in his eyes. He clears his throat, looking back at Roben.

"Can you give us a minute, love?" She smiles at him.

"Of course. I'll go talk to your parents a bit." She stands, kissing him softly. She squeezes Bobby's shoulder on her way out, the empty feeling in her coming back. 

********

She laid beside him, playing with his fingers with hers. She takes in his scent, the warmth of his body heating her soul. Bobby talked to him in the chair beside them. She sees Bobby frown at Miles, looking up to see Miles shake his head. His heart monitor starts slowly beeping faster.

"Baby?" He doesn't reply, his breathing quickening. Her instincts told her something was wrong, making her sit up. "Miles? Are you okay?" Before he can say anything his groans breathlessly, putting his hand to his head. His heart rate skyrockets, his blood pressure dropping. Alarms start going off, making her shake. The nurses come in quickly, urging her to move away as they start working on him. Bobby quickly walks over to her, pulling her back from the bed. She watches in fear, tears pouring down her face. "What's wrong with him!? Will he be okay?! Miles!" His heart stops, they pull out the paddles. She screams, fighting against Bobby's restraint. "Noooo!!!! Miles!!!!! Nooooo!!!!!" They urge them out of the room, leaving them both crying in the hallway. They sit on the ground, holding each other. After 30 minutes the doctor walks out, looking down at her. They quickly stand, looking into his eyes. Bobby's voice was hoarse with emotion.

"How is he?" 

"I'm sorry Mrs. O'Reilly...we did everything we could but we couldn't get his heart started again." 

"Nooo!! It can't be! He can't be! Not yet!!!" She slaps the doctor, Bobby grabs her hands to stop her.

"Roben!" She fights against him.

"No!! No, not yet!! It wasn't time yet!! He's lying!!!" He forces her to look at him.

"Roben!!! Stop!!!" She stops, looking up at him. She sees the pain in his amber eyes, making her body go numb. He wipes her tears away. "I'm so sorry, lass....he's gone." He catches her before she could collapse on the ground in sobs. 

"No...please...not yet...." 

"I'm so sorry, Robbie...I'm so sorry."

********

She looks at herself in the mirror, numbness filling the empty void inside her.

"Roben? You ready to go?" She looks at her long fitted, black lace dress.

"Yeah." Bobby holds out his hand for her, not letting it go until he helped her in the car. She stared out the window, watching the trees pass by. She closed her eyes, remembering him telling her the story of him imagining he was racing the trees on long car rides. 

"Lass..." She opens her eyes to see they'd stopped. He helps her out of the car, walking hand in hand to the crowd. Everyone turned and looked at her, pity in their eyes. The looks she got hurt her just as much as they day he died. The priest began his sermon, reading the poems, his eulogy, scriptures. She looked at the picture of Miles, she chose the picture of the day they got married. He had never smiled so brightly as he had that day. She remembered the day they met, the day he kissed her for the first time, when he snuck up to the tree beside her window every time she got grounded, the day they moved in together, the day he proposed, the day they started planning a family. 

"His wife, Robena, would like to say a few words." Everyone turns to look at her, a few frowning when they see no tears. She stood in front of everyone, clearing her throat.

"Thank you all for coming, it's wonderful to see so many people who cared about him. He was a great guy, a rare kind of person. Everyone he met just adored him. He always had a smile on his face." She meets Bobby's eyes, he shakes his head. She looks at the picture again. After a minute she looks back at everyone watching her. She took her time to remember who had come to be there for them. She clears her throat.

"I'm sorry. I was trying to be strong and I can't. This is a tremendous loss for everyone. He had so many people that just adored everything about him. The first day I met him I knew he was it. As soon as our eyes met it was over. We became instantly close. When I got grounded he would climb up the tree by my window just to talk to me. He never came inside though, said it was too disrespectful. I never understood how that was too fat but climbing my tree at midnight wasn't." A couple people smile at her. "He was easily the best person I know. He loved everyone he met with everything, he gave the clothes off his back countless to the homeless. Which I didn't mind because it was sweet...and I got to see him shirtless."

A couple people laughed. She looks over at Bobby, meeting his eyes again. "I lost the most important person in my life. He was quite literally my everything. My husband, my best friend, my family, my lover. I woke up every single morning with a smile on my face because he was next to me. He was my entire world, he felt like the reason I was so alive. He made me feel so complete in every single way. Our whole relationship felt like a fairytale. It felt too perfect, like it was a dream. I guess it was and that's why this happened. I always knew he had an amazing presence about him...but now that he's gone everything feels empty." The tears start falling.

"I'm not sure how we're gonna make it without him. The sun doesn't feel as warm, the flowers don't smell as pretty, the grass isn't as green. He made everything around him brighter. He meant so much to all of us, we all lost a piece of us. Before he died he told me no matter what I had to fight for my happiness everyday. I couldn't fall just because he was gone. He hoped I would find a way to get up, move on, live the life I wanted with him. And I know he would tell all of you the same thing. He doesn't stand for anyone to give up on themselves and he damn sure wouldn't want to hear that you all let his death stop you. So when you leave here today, live every single day to the absolute fullest. For Miles." She looked at the picture again, more tears falling.

"For my Miles. We have to do this for him. If we don't make it for him he'd be so heartbroken." She looks down, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. "Thank you all for coming and for loving him." She felt Bobby's arms surround her. She leaned against him, letting herself cry a little more than she intended. 

She wakes up with a start, gasping for air. She felt the tears steadily streaming down her face, the pain in her chest there once more from the memory. 


	25. September 15, 2021

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One word...closure. Closure is always good...right?

She paces her room, silent tears still falling. She stops to look at the clock. **_It's 2 am...why did I have to have this dream now? Is it a sign? Maybe things are moving too fast with Noah. Or maybe not fast enough. Is it possible I feel subconsciously guilty for loving another man? God I need to relax. Thank God Noah isn't here right now._** She picks up her phone, pressing a name. A minute later his raspy voice answers, a wave of relief washing over her. 

"Hello?"

"Hey..."

"Roben?"

"Yeah...I'm sorry I woke up up."

"It's okay, is everything okay?" She chews on her nail, a sniffle escaping. His voice immediately changes. "Lass? What's wrong?"

"I had a bad dream. Well a good dream but it's bad."

"What do you mean?"

"I...I....we....he...it was..." She shook her head, covering her eyes. 

"Is Noah there?"

"No, he stayed at his place tonight. He has to open the library tomorrow."

"So you're alone?" She sniffles.

"Always have been, in a sense."

"Roben, you know that's not true. You have the boys, Lottie, Chelsea, Hope, all our mates...and me." She shakes her head.

"I know, it just...dinnae ken." 

"I'm coming over."

"What? Why?"

"Because you're crying and your home alone."

"The boys are here."

"It's 2:30 in the morning...they're asleep."

"Well, yeah but-"

"No buts. I'm on my way." He hangs up before she can protest. She sighs, tossing her phone onto her bed.

*******

He opens the door quietly, putting his spare key to her flat in his pocket. He tip toes up the stairs, seeing the light on in her room. He opens the door, peaking inside. She's sitting in the chair by her window, hugging her legs. She looks over at him, tear streaks painted across her face. He takes off his jacket, tossing it on her bed. He kneels down in front of her, rubbing her arms.

"Hey, what's going on?" She looks into his eyes, seeing the concern in them. 

"I had a bad dream."

"What was it about?"

"It was about Miles. It was the night he..." A lump forms in her throat, stopping her from talking. He pulls her into a hug.

"Hey, shh. It's okay." For a while she just cries, letting him hold her. She sits up, wiping her eyes. 

"Can you hand me those tissues?" He gets up, walking over to her bedside table. He picks them up, bringing them to her. She wipes her face, blowing her nose. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" 

"Waking you up. I just...no one gets this part of me like you do. I mean, Lottie is really supportive and everything. But you're the one that was there, you saw what it was like. You were there for this, so you get why this is so..." She shakes her head, sniffling. She stands up, walking over and sitting on the edge of her bed. He walks over, sitting next to her.

"Never apologize for waking me up. I will always come to you to be here for you."

"I know, I know. You promised him you'd take care of me."

"Well, yeah. But I don't do it just because of that anymore." She looks up at him.

"Really? Then why?"

"Because...I care about you. It's not an obligation or something I feel like I have to do. I do it because I want to. I...I love you." She cocks her head.

"You do?"

"Of course I do. You're the mother of my boys, my best mate, you've always been the one that understands me more than anyone else, you're so caring and generous. You're loyal, strong, passionate, smart. We've been through a lot together over the years. It's hard not to at this point."

"Oh, you love me like that." She looks down, trying to hide the disappointment spreading in her heart.

"What do you mean?" She shrugs.

"For a minute, I guess...I thought you meant it the other way."

"You mean like...romantically?"

"Yeah, but of course you'd love me the other way. It makes sense. You're right." He frowns slightly.

"Are you...are you upset?"

"No, of course not. Why would I be?"

"You just seem..." She meets his eyes, getting goosebumps as she looked into his golden honey eyes. 

"Seem what?" 

"I'm not sure how to word it."

"Just say it."

"Disappointed?"

"Am I?"

"Are you?" She looks at her hands, picking at her nails.

"That's ridiculous, Bobby. I'm engaged and you're dating a great woman." 

"So you're not?"

"No, it would be crazy if I was." He looks down at the ground.

"Right." She looks over, studying his face.

"Are you...are you disappointed I'm not disappointed?"

"No, no. Like you said, it would be crazy." 

"Bobby..."

"Yeah?"

"Do you love me?"

"I already told you I did."

"No, I mean...love me love me. Like in love with me?" He scratches his head nervously, clearing his throat.

"Uh, that would be insane. Like you said, we're both with other people." 

"Yeah...but that...just because we...you still...it doesn't mean it'll change anything?"

"Wouldn't it?"

"Would it?"

"IF I did, it could ruin our friendship again. And it'll mess with your head and I'm not doing that to you anymore. I promised I'd stop hurting you."

"But you wouldn't be hurting me, just being honest with me."

"Unless you loved me too. Then it would make things complicated...we've had enough complicated. The boys don't need complicated."

"Look at me." He sighs, looking into her eyes. "Do you still love me?" 

"I think you know the answer to that." 

"I want to make sure I'm not making any assumptions..."

"Yes."

"Yes...you do?"

"Aye....but..." She sighs.

"But."

"But...we don't work. We've tried and it always falls apart, I always hurt you. We can't do that again. We can't hurt ourselves again. It's not fair to us."

"Well...what if..."

"There can't be a what if, lass." He holds up her hand with her engagement ring. "You made a promise to a great guy that you would love him the rest of your lives. In three months you're going to be married, raising a family together. I'm not making you break that promise on a what if."

"What about what I want?"

"What you want?"

"What if...I want...what if I..." She bites her lip, blushing. "Bobby...I-"

"Don't say it. Please. I...I can't hear that from you."

"Isn't that the kind of thing people like to hear?"

"Usually, yes. But...Roben..." He stands up, shaking his head. "I think I need to go now, before this gets any worse."

"Worse? How is it bad?"

"We need to not get...distracted. We are both in a good place right now. We don't need to mess this up again."

"So that's it? You're gonna end it before it even starts."

"It shouldn't start to begin with." He points to a picture on her nightstand. "You have a great guy who wants to marry you."

"And you don't."

"Dinnae ken, I haven't thought about you like that in months."

"But you said you loved me."

"I do." 

"I'm so confused right now."

"See, that's what I wanted to avoid."

"No, I'm confused because I don't know what you want. In Spain you wanted me, we get home and you don't want me. Then at Christmas you do want me, at some point you decide you don't want me. And now I find out you still love me but you don't want me?"

"It's not that I don't want you, it's that we shouldn't. We can't. You're engaged, Roben. Marry Noah, he's never hurt you. He's never sent you mixed signals, or confused you. You don't fight like we do. Marry him." She bites her lip, trying to stop from crying again. He grabs his jacket. "I'm gonna go."

"Bobby, no. Please don't go."

"I need to." He starts walking towards the door. Her voice cracks.

"Bobby, I'm not ready to say goodbye. Not again." He looks back at her, seeing the tears in her eyes. His heart ached seeing what he was doing to her again. 

"If I don't leave now...who knows what's going to happen."

"Just stay. Talk to me. Don't leave me alone yet. I don't wanna be alone." He tosses his jacket back down, looking at her. She gets up, throwing her arms around him. She hugs him tightly, afraid to let go.

********

She lay in bed cuddled next to him. He rubs her back softly.

"Do you wanna talk about your dream?" She sighs.

"At first it was the good stuff. When he proposed, when we got married...then it was the day he went into the hospital. When we found out about his tumor. And then it was the day he died. That part was so vivid, it was like I was reliving it. I felt so broken, it was like it was fresh pain again. The last one was his funeral. God...that one physically hurt me. I replayed everything I remember about that. It hurt so bad I couldn't breathe. I woke up actually gasping for air, it felt so fresh again."

"I'm so sorry, lass. I wish it wouldn't happen to you."

"Me too." She thinks back to her dream. "Hey, Bobby?"

"Hmm."

"Before he died and he told us to stay together...he asked to talk to you alone."

"Aye..."

"What did you two talk about?" He sighs.

"He asked if I had feelings for you."

"What? Why?"

"He said I had this look on my face that he recognized. I denied it, of course. But he said he wasn't mad, he felt better knowing I had feelings for you because that would mean I would take care of you better."

"He certainly was a strange one. How many men can say they're happy their best friend is in love with their wife?" Bobby chuckles.

"That lad was something else. Not anyone else is close to him."

"That's not true. You two have very similar senses of humor. That's why I loved being around my boys."

"Your boys, huh?"

"Yeah, when I talked about you two I usually said my boys. That might be why people thought we were a thrupple..." He smiles looking down at her.

"So it's your fault then?"

"Shut up, McKenzie." For a minute they're just quiet. "Did I tell you that RJ boops people now."

"What?"

"He randomly walks up to someone and will boop you, then run off." He laughs softly.

"That's my boy."

"That he is. He's never booped you?"

"No, he usually jumps on me though. He likes to play horsey. Which of course makes Miles want to play too so most of the time when I have them I have two three year old's bouncing on my back."

"Oh you poor man." He laughs again.

"Eh, it's alright. It makes them happy."

"Your mum called me the other day."

"What? What for?"

"She asked if we could go visit them soon. Her and Miles's family miss the boys."

"We can make that happen."

"I told her we'd figure it out. She also asked about the wedding."

"What about it?"

"I think she wanted to see if she was invited without actually asking."

"Is she?"

"Of course. I want all of our families there."

"Yeah?"

"Duh." 

"She'll love that."

"Is she any better?"

"About what?"

"About how she treats you?"

"She still gives me shit for letting you go. But mostly yeah. She's really supportive of us still."

"Has she met Maizie?"

"No. I'm not sure if we're there yet."

"She'll meet her at the wedding."

"You want Maizie at the wedding???"

"Yeah, she's your girlfriend. I want you there and I like her so, yeah." He sighs.

"You still surprise me everyday."

"Good. I get to keep you on your toes." For a minute they're quiet. "Hey, Bobby."

"Aye?"

"Are you really okay with letting this go?"

"Okay with? Not really...but we both know it won't be good for either one of us." 

"I know....it still hurts though."

"It hurts me too." 

"I think I need one more thing before I can really let this go."

"What?"

"Can I have one last kiss?" He looks down at her, she saw the worry in his eyes. "After that we can let go. But what we had was special...and I think I need closure to it. I need to know that it meant something to you too." He moves a strand of her hair out of her face. He rubs his thumb across her cheek, across her lip. He looks into her eyes. He leans down slowly, kissing her softly. She slowly places her hand on his cheek, deepening the kiss. He gets lost in her kiss, forgetting everything else. He missed the way she sighs softly when she leans into it. The taste of her lips, the way she gently traces his lips. He bites her lip gently, she wraps her leg over him to pull him closer. His hand finds her hips, holding her close. He felt her body responding to his, making him slow down. He slowly pulls away, resting his head against her. 

"I...I need to go...or I won't stop." She looks at him sadly. 

"I...don't want you to."

"But we both know this isn't right...it'll make letting go harder." She nods, sniffling.

"You're right." He sits up, getting out of bed. He put on his jacket, looking back at her. He leans down, kissing her one last time. He forces himself to pull away, walking out the door quietly. She pulls her knees to her chest, letting the tears fall again. 


	26. December 11, 2021

"So how are you feeling? Two more weeks and you'll be a married woman." Chelsea nudges her shoulder, making her smile.

"I'm ready for this wedding planning to be over. It's been so stressful."

"Hasn't Noah been helping?"

"Well, of course he has. Bobby's been a big help too."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he helped me with my first wedding."

"So you two are good then?"

"Why wouldn't we?"

"I don't know...I just thought that maybe, with your history, he wouldn't want to be around this stuff."

"He doesn't seem bothered by it so far."

"Even when he saw your dress?"

"He hasn't seen my dress."

"You didn't show him?"

"Not yet. It's been a crazy few months."

"Oh. Well I'm glad you two are still good."

"Me too. It's nice having him around during this." She gets lost in thought, not hearing a word Chelsea said. Things were good with him, really good. But she kept thinking what it would be like if he wanted to take the chance. What if he hadn't ended any possibility of them being together? She knew he still loved her, since he told her she thought about anything that could've been a sign. She remembered all these little details over the months that would've given her a clue. She started picking up on the small ways he would tell her he loved her without saying it. He always brought her a candy bar or a drink when he brought the boys home. He brought her food when he got the boys food, even when he didn't get them anything and knew she hadn't ate. He never made her feel bad for needing a break. He only booped her nose...and the boys. When he got the chance, he'd squeeze her hand gently three times. She never understood why three times, she never asked. But the more she thought about their history, the more she knew he was probably right to stop it.

********

He walks inside, shutting the door behind him.

"What's up, lass? What did you need?"

"Nothing, really. I just wanted to see you."

"Okay...." He sits down next to her on the couch. 

"What no-" He holds up a chocolate bar, smiling. She smiles, taking it from his hand. "I've gotten used to getting candy from you." He chuckles.

"I figured as much." He looks in the corner of the room, seeing a bunch of wedding stuff. "Almost done?"

"Yeah, my veil should be coming soon."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, it matches my dress perfectly."

"Nice. Have all your something whatever's?" She chuckles.

"Almost. Why?" He sighs, reaching in his pocket. He pulls out a small blue heart on a thing silver chain. She gasps. "Where did you find this?"

"You left it when you left Scotland. I held onto it, it kinda got lost in my stuff after I moved. I found it the other day when I was moving stuff in my closet." She gently takes it, holding it in her hand. 

"Oh, Bobby....I don't know what to say."

"Say it's your something old and something blue." She chuckles, looking at him. 

"You...are so....amazing." She kisses his cheek. "Thank you..." 

"You're welcome...it was your Nana's, right?"

"Yeah...she gave it to me when I was 12...right before she passed away." He nods.

"That's what I thought." She sighs, looking at it. 

"Will you put it on me?"

"Of course." She turns around. "Do you want me to put it over this one?"

"No, take it off." 

"You wanna take off the necklace that Noah got you?"

"He won't mind...besides this one means more to me." He carefully unclasped the old necklace, putting on her grandmother's necklace. 

"There...perfect." She turns and looks at him, meeting his eyes. 

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." She hugs him tightly. 

"You're the best." 

"Anything to make you smile." She sighs, resting her cheek against his shoulder. "You okay?"

"Yeah...just thinking about the wedding."

"Exciting, isn't it?"

"Yeah...it is." He looks at her frowning.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. Hey, you haven't seen my dress. Wanna see it?"

"Sure."

"Yay, I'll be right back." She runs upstairs, getting it out of Lottie's closet and putting it on. She smooths out the skirt, looking in the mirror. She sighs, suddenly feeling nervous. She goes to the top of the stairs and yells down. "Are you ready?"

"Always."

"Drumroll please." She hears him hitting something, making a drumroll. She starts walking down the stairs, slowly. The skirt dragging behind her on the stairs gently. He slowly stops drumming, staring at her. He looks at her from head to toe, his mouth hanging open. She blushes, smiling at him. "What do you think?"

"Wow...you look...amazing..."

"You like it?" 

"It's gorgeous. Better than the first time. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw you walking down the aisle the first time." 

"Really?" He blushes.

"I didn't think I said that out loud..." She thinks back to that day, remembering a small flash of her looking at Bobby and seeing him staring at her like he was now. 

"Wait...you...felt like that then."

"I didn't really know it...but yeah. I knew I felt something..."

"How long had you known?"

"Since the day I met you. Well, I knew knew shortly after the wedding..."

"You loved me then?"

"Aye..." He clears his throat. "You look absolutely stunning, lass." She smiles, doing a little twirl.

"Chelsea said it's gonna make Noah's jaw drop. Priya thinks he's gonna cry. What do you think?" For a minute he doesn't say anything. "Bobby?"

"What?"

"Did you hear me about Chelsea and Priya?"

"Uh, yeah. Noah....Noah's a really lucky guy. He'll definitely cry." She sees the look on his face, her smile disappearing. 

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just hard to think seeing you in that." 

"I'm glad you like it. I might have to return it if you didn't." 

"You gotta get married in something."

"True..." For a minute he just looks at her dress, like he was lost in thought. "Bobby?"

"Aye?"

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, of course." He clears his throat. "But I do need to go actually." She frowns.

"Why?"

"Uh, I have plans, with Maizie."

"Oh...okay. Can you do me a favor?"

"Uh, sure."

"Can you unzip the top part? It's hard to undo."

"Sure." She turns around, her heart pounding when she feels him get close. His hands shake slightly as he moves her hair over her shoulder. The light brush of his fingers against her shoulder make her shiver. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just got a shiver."

"Oh..." He gently unzips part of the zipper, making himself stop before he got any lower. He clears his throat, stepping away. "Well, I need to go now..." She turns and looks at him, trying to hide her disappointment.

"Okay. I hope you two have fun. See you soon?"

"Yeah, of course." He quickly walks out the door, not bothering to look back.

********

"Are you okay, Ro?" She looks up at Lottie.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"You look upset."

"I'm just lost in thought."

"About what?" She sighs.

"Do you think...I'm doing the right thing?"

"What? Marrying Noah?"

"Yeah."

"Does it feel right?"

"It used to."

"But now it doesn't?"

"I don't know."

"What changed it?" She chews on her lip.

"A couple months ago...I found out Bobby still loved me." Lottie raises her eyebrows. 

"He told you?"

"You knew?"

"That's not the point. So...what happened?"

"We sort of agreed not to let it go anywhere, to let us go."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why let it go? You love him and he loves you."

"Because we've never worked out before. Why would we work now?"

"Because it's different this time. You aren't going onto this wondering what it would be like, you know what it's like. And now you've had over a year of being not together but around each other. You've built a good friendship now."

"Lottie...he was the one that told me he didn't want anything to come of it. You think I don't know any of that?"

"Wait, what?"

"He told me he didn't want us to be together. He said Noah could give him what he couldn't. He said he wasn't ready to be with me because he wasn't in a good place."

"But...you wanted to?"

"Of course I did...I love him. But...he doesn't want me...still." Lottie sighs.

"Hun, it's not that he doesn't want you. He just thinks you're better off without him." She shakes her head.

"Maybe he's right." 

"What?"

"Maybe he's right. Maybe we aren't good together. Yeah, I'm doing the right thing. I love Noah. We're great together. He's amazing. This is the right choice." Lottie sighs.

"I'm sorry, hun." She takes her hand. "I was really rooting for you two." 

"It's okay. This is the right call. It's just normal cold feet or whatever." 


	27. December 17, 2021

She looks around at all her friends drinking, laughing, bonding. Her phone dings, making her stop her conversation with Marisol, smiling when she sees it.

_Hey, lass. How was your day?_

_Good. Busy, as usual. Finally relaxing with some drinks with the girls. The boys okay?_

_Yeah, they're great._

_Good. They love seeing their daddy._ ❤

_Lol. I love seeing them too._

_Any big plans?_

_No just the usual stuff. But I actually wanted to talk to you about something._

_Okay, shoot._

_It's about the wedding._

_Okay...._

_I don't think I can make it._

_What?? Why?_

_Something came up and I need to go take care of some things._

_What happened? Your family is coming here for the wedding. What else could it be?_

_My grandparents in Jamaica. I've gotta go help them out a bit._

_But it's my wedding day. You're my best friend...can't it wait?_

_No, I'm sorry. I really am._

_Bobby, you promised you would be there. I need you there. If you're not there I can't do this._

_Yes, you can. You're marrying an incredible guy. You are gonna have a gorgeous family with him._

_But you're my family too. I need you._

_You'll be fine. I can see the pictures._

_No. I want you there. Please. Please be there tomorrow. I need you there. I can't do this without. You're my strength right now._

_Roben, you'll be okay. All you have to do is walk down the aisle to the man you love. You can do this. This is going to be the start of an amazing life for you. You've got this._

_But...not without you. I don't want to get married if you aren't there. You're my other half._

_He's your other half. I'm your mate. You don't need me to marry the man you love._

_Bobby, please._

_I've gotta go._

_Bobby. Please be there. I need you._ She looks around at her friends all drinking in celebration of her wedding tomorrow. Priya looks over, seeing her face. She frowns, nodding towards the back door. They sneak away, sitting down on the porch.

"What's wrong, hun?"

"He's not coming."

"Noah???"

"No...Bobby. Bobby isn't coming tomorrow."

"What? Why?" 

"He said he needs to go to Jamaica to see his grandparents."

"It can't wait?" She shakes her head, holding out her phone. Priya reads through the texts, her frown deepening. "This doesn't make sense. Why would he just dip out like this?" She starts crying, hugging her knees. Priya picks up her phone, texting someone before she scoots closer and puts her arm around her. A minute later Lottie walks out, immediately getting concerned. She puts her drink down, kneeling in front if the now sobbing Roben.

"Roben, honey. What's wrong? What happened? Is it Noah?" She shakes her head, trying to find it in herself to speak. Priya rubs her back.

"Bobby isn't coming. He said his grandparents need him and it can't wait." Lottie stands up angrily.

"What!?! He what!?! Oh, I'm going to kill him."

"Right!?" 

"And he's using his grandparents as an excuse? Bullshit. He's such a dick." She kneels down in front of Roben. "Hey, hey, hey. It's okay. It's going to be okay. We can do this without him."

"I need him there."

"It'll be fine. You're marrying a great man, right?"

"He's supposed to be there with me. How can I make it without him?"

"It's not forever, just a few days. But Noah is for life. Don't make him wait because Bobby is a coward."

"Coward?" Priya asks. Lottie ignores her, trying to soothe Roben.

"This is just a sign. A sign you made the right choice. It's the universe telling you you made the right call choosing Noah." Roben sniffles, taking some deep breaths. "Right? That makes sense, right?" Roben nods, finally able to speak.

"You're right. You're right. This just proves I made the right choice."

"Exactly. We've got this, don't we?" She nods.

"Yeah, we do. I don't need him if he's gonna be an ass about this."

"Exactly. Let him pout on his own. He had his chance. Now you've got to stand up and prove you don't need him. Once and for all. Prove you can stand on your own. You don't need anyone." Roben nods, getting herself together.

"You're right. Of course you're right. I can do this." 

"There's my Ro. Now go clean your face up. Chelsea has some games she wants to do in a few minutes." Roben nods, going inside. Priya looks at Lottie confused.

"What just happened?"

"Bobby's grandparents are fine, he's using them as an excuse."

"Excuse for what?"

"He loves Roben and he knows Roben loves him. But they chose to not do anything about it and let go. Except he hasn't let go and instead of keeping his promise to her he's gonna run and hide."

"Wait, Roben loves him too?"

"Did you not just see her? She's crazy about him." 

"I...he...she...but they..." she groans. "These two are killing me. Cover for me. I'm making a trip." 

"Where are you going?"

"I'm kicking his ass. I can sneak out easier than you can. Say something about Rahim's grandmother in town or some shit. I don't know. I'll be back soon." Lottie smiles at her.

"I got your back. Go." 

********

She crosses her arms as she waits at the door. Bobby answers, staring at her.

"Uh, hi. What are you doing here?" She hears the boys inside.

"Is Gary home?"

"Aye..." She yells behinds Bobby.

"Gary! Watch the kids!"

"Got it!" She grabs Bobby's shirt, pulling him outside and shutting the door.

"What the hell are you doing??"

"You know damn well what I'm doing!!" She smacks him upside the head. 

"Ow!! What the fuck, Priya!"

"Good! Ugh, I could kill you." 

"What!?"

"How can you abandon her like that!?! You know she only wants to do this with you there. You're the one that told her you didn't want to get back together so you don't get to coward out now. You promised to be there for her."

"She doesn't need me there."

"Yes she does! She needed you there the first time and she needs you there now. She wanted it to be you waiting for her at the end of the alter but no. You had to chicken out of that too. Grow some balls, Bobby!"

"I'm not scared! I was trying not to hurt her!" She smacks him again. "Will you stop hitting me!?!"

"No! Because you're a fucking idiot! You are scared. You're scared of your feelings. You're scared to watch the love of your life marry someone else. But you only have you to blame. She was ready to throw it all away with Noah for you and you told her no. You did. If you wanted to be that man you should've just taken a leap of faith and gave it another shot."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I just had to call on Lottie to fix a sobbing Roben on the back porch."

"Sobbing? She was crying?"

"Of course she's crying. The man she actually loves doesn't want her. But he promised to be there anyways. And then he just told her he wasn't. You're leaving her behind because you don't want to see it. But you're why it's still happening." 

"She didn't want to marry me. She just got cold feet."

"You really think that's why she said that?" She scoffs. "You are so stupid. It's always been you. And I guarantee if you went there tomorrow and told her you wanted her she'd leave with you. It's always going to be you. But if you just let this go....it's really done."

"He's better for her. He's who she deserves."

"Why?"

"Because he won't hurt her." 

"Bobby....stopping yourself from loving her because you think you aren't enough is pretty selfish."

"How do you figure?"

"Because you're so wrapped up in your insecurities you're not thinking about her. You aren't thinking about what truly makes her happy. She never talks about Noah like she has you. But tomorrow...she's going to marry him. Tell her not to or tell her to...either way just be there. You gave her up, but don't walk away. This is the scariest thing she's had to do in a long time and she needs you. More than she needs Lottie. Rather you tell her you want her or not...be there. For her. Stop thinking about you and think about her. For once. Think about her."

"How am I supposed to watch the mother of my kids, the love of my life, get married? It's actual torture thinking about it. I have to sit there and watch her make her vows to this man. A great man who she deserves and who can treat her right...how am I supposed to do that? How am I supposed to let her go then?"

"You do realize you did this to yourself. In Spain it was all you. When we got home it was still you. It was you for months. It was still you when Jace came around. And it was you during and after Jace. It was you before Maizie. And it's you now. He's not who she really wants. But she thinks you don't want her and she's falling into the nonsense that Noah is the perfect guy so she should marry him."

"If you're so worried about this why don't you say something?"

"I'm not the one that's in this. I'm not the one that took the easy way out. And she is a grown woman. I don't get to make her choices. She makes her own. If she asks me what I think I'll tell her otherwise I'm not saying anything. That's your job."

"You really think I should go to her wedding tomorrow?"

"Without a doubt. I know it's going to hurt you, it's going to hurt her. But lovers or not...you're her best friend. You say you want her to marry him...if you don't go she won't. She honestly thinks she can't do this without you there. You're her lifeline, Bobby."

"And she's mine. I do everything I can to make her happy..."

"Then tell her to choose you."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Because Noah is a great guy. With him she's gonna get the life she wanted. The life she told me about all those years ago. With me...I can't give her what he gives her."

"You'd give her what he can't...you." She looks at him a moment. "Please come. Rather you tell her how you feel or not...be there for her. You promised to take care of her, right? Is abandoning her on the day she needs you most taking care of her?" She walks away without another word, leaving him standing there alone.


	28. December 18, 2021

The girls help her into her dress, zipping up the back. Lottie helps her put on her jewelry, straightening out her skirt.

"There. Perfect." She looks into her eyes, smiling. "You look amazing, babe. He's so lucky to have you." She smiles, hugging her.

"Thank you. For everything." A knock on the door grabs their attention. Her mom and dad peek inside, gasping when they see her.

"Oh, look at our little girl. You're absolutely gorgeous..." Her dad looks at her with tears in his eyes.

"Even more beautiful than before." 

"Oh, Mum, Dad. Stop it. You're gonna make me cry." Her mom sniffles, dabbing her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I'm just so happy for you. You're breathtaking." 

"Thanks, Mum." She hugs her parents, taking a moment to look around the room. All the girls in their satin navy blue gowns, her mom wearing a navy blue lace dress. Her dad wearing a navy blue tie. She smiles at them. "I feel really lucky right now to have such a big support system." Hope smiles at her.

"We're there every step of the way, hun."

"Thank you." She looks in the mirror and sighs. Another knock in the door makes everyone look over. Marisol peaks out the door, smiling. 

"Come in." She steps aside, letting them come in. 

"You look beautiful, lass." She turns around quickly, seeing him smiling at her.

"Bobby!" She picks up her dress running up to him. She throws her arms around him, hugging him tightly. "You came!"

"I made a promise, didn't I? Besides, someone knocked some sense into me...literally." She looks at him curiously. He glances at Priya, rubbing the spot she hit him in. Priya shrugs.

"Someone had to." Lottie smiles at her.

"I knew I liked you." She smiles, hugging him again.

"Whatever the reason...I'm glad you came." She held onto him tighter, not wanting to let go. For a minute they just hold each other, not saying a word. Lottie meets Priya's eyes, giving a faint smile. She stands up clearing her throat.

"We'll give you two some time alone." As Roben's dad walks by he pats Bobby on the back.

"Hey, good to see you again. We should catch up over dinner after this. I heard about this great place serving in the ballroom later. Great food." Roben groans, making Bobby laugh. He smiles at her dad.

"Sounds great, meet you there?"

"You got it, kiddo." He winks at them before being dragged away by her mom. They hold each other a little longer. 

"I'm glad you came."

"Me too. I'm sorry I almost didn't."

"It's okay. I get it."

"You do?"

"You don't have to explain it, I know why. I'm just happy you came anyway."

"I'm not going anywhere, lass."

"Good...I need you a lot more than I want to admit." 

"I need you too." She looks up at him, looking into his eyes.

"You do?"

"More than I should." She smiles at him.

"I'm glad it's not just me." He smiles at her, moving a strand of hair out of her face.

"So...this is it. Are you ready?"

"I don't know. I'm really nervous."

"Why? He's a great guy that really cares about you."

"I just...have a weird feeling I guess."

"All you have to do is walk down that aisle and tell the man you love you want forever with him. And then you can start your life together."

"You make it sound easy."

"It is. You love him and he loves you. He loves the boys and they love him."

"I know..." He looks down at her curiously.

"What's wrong?" She shakes her head, walking over to the mirror.

"Nothing I guess." She looks at herself in the mirror. He lace mermaid fit dress fit her perfectly. The scoop neckline making the perfect canvas to display the necklace Bobby gave her. Lace draped down her whole dress, the skirt falling around her feet. 

"Lass?" She looks at him in the mirror. "Are you alright?" She sighs, looking at the two of them in the mirror. His suit a light gray, a navy blue tie tucked in. She looks at the pair of them together, feeling the aching feeling she kept getting when she imagined this day differently. He comes and stands beside her. "Roben..."

"What do you see in the mirror?" He looks at her in the mirror, seeing nothing but perfection. He looked at his reflection next to hers. It almost looked like they were getting married. He wished that was what was happening. He would love to be the one waiting for her at the alter. To be the one she devoted herself to in front of all their friends and family. To be the one she wanted forever.

"I see a gorgeous woman who's managed to survive even the worst heartbreak...and she still found her happy ending." He looks at her eyes in the mirror. "Someone who's been to hell and back, still standing. A woman who's as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside." She stares into his eyes, her heart pounding. 

"Tell me."

"Tell you what?" She turns and looks at him, her emotions quickly becoming too hard to handle. She stands in front of him, looking up at him.

"Tell me why I shouldn't get married today."

"What?"

"Tell me why I shouldn't marry Noah..." She prayed he would say it. She could see he wanted to, she wanted him to. She hoped he would get it and just say it. He did get it, he knew what she was asking. He couldn't get himself to say there wasn't a reason...but he also couldn't find the words to tell her to be with him instead. "Bobby...give me one reason why I shouldn't get married today." He thought about what Priya said the night before. 

_"I bet if you went there tomorrow and told her you wanted to be with her that she would leave with you."_ Could that really happen? Would she really choose him? When she was so close to a stable life? To a man who knew what he wanted, when he wanted it. Who loved her the way she deserved.

"When I feel like this...I listen to music. That CD I gave you has songs that I think will tell you what you need to hear."

"What? It's at home."

"You have a phone. Look up the song from New Year's. Find out the album it's on and listen to it."

"I don't exactly have a lot of time."

"Just listen to the songs I send you."

"What?" He kisses her cheek, holding her face in his hands.

"Just...trust me." He takes a step away.

"Bobby, wait."

"I'm not leaving. I'm going out there and telling everyone you wanted a few minutes to yourself. I promise I'll be out there."

"You're gonna be right there beside me? You're my best person..."

"I promise. I'll be standing right beside you." He kisses her hand, walking out. She sighs, sitting down on the couch. She figures out the album, looking through the songs. She gets a text from Bobby. Three songs from the album are listed and one song by a different artist is listed. She listens to each of the songs carefully, trying to find the cues of why he said to listen to them. She felt every lyric in them, letting them resonate through her. She closes her eyes, wracking her brain for why he wanted her to hear these. A soft knock on the door interrupts her thoughts. She looks up to see her father looking in. 

"Are you ready? It's time." She looks at him a minute, he immediately catches on that something's wrong. He comes and sits beside her. "What's wrong?"

"Daddy...how did you know Mum was the one?" He leans forward, resting his arms on his knees.

"There wasn't a specific thing that made me think 'She's it.' At some point, after spending so much time with her and getting to know her...somewhere along the way it just...clicked. It felt right. I didn't doubt for one second she was the one I wanted."

"You never wondered if you were making a mistake?"

"No. It felt...like when I made that choice that I gained a part of me that was missing." She frowns, looking down. "Do you know where your missing piece is?" She looks into his eyes, seeing the same eyes she got from him. 

"I think so...but what if I'm wrong?"

"Love is hard, honey bear. There is no right or wrong. You have to take a leap of trust. Give it all you got when you find someone you think is that person."

"Dad...I'm scared."

"That's okay. This is a big step." She sighs. "So are you ready?" She looked down at her engagement ring, thinking about everything that's happened this past year. She replayed everything over the past few months especially. She smiled as she looked at her ring.

"Yeah, I am." She stands up, getting her bouquet. "Let's do this." She smiles at her dad, following him out. A few short minutes later she stood in front of the closed doors. Her dad puts her veil over her, tears in his eyes.

"I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, Daddy."

"I love you."

"I love you too." He kisses her cheek, holding out his arm. The doors slowly open, the music starting. Everyone turns to look at her, many of the starting to tear up. She looked at the beautiful navy blue, maroon, white and yellow flowers attached to the side of every row. The same color scheme in the petals scattered down the aisle. The sun shined perfectly in the big window behind the alter, making everything glow. The girls held their bouquets with the same flowers as the ones on the rows. Bobby stood in front of Lottie, Noah's sister standing right behind him to counter out Bobby. She saw Miles's family sitting beside hers. She smiles at them, feeling so loved. She looked at her friends standing up at the alter, smiling at her. They all had their hair done in gorgeous curls or buns. Their makeup flawlessly accenting their natural beauty. She saw the boys standing next to Noah in their matching suits, making her heart feel full of love. She felt grateful to have so many people behind her this time. She saw Bobby's family towards the front, Maizie standing with them. She began to think about the songs again, trying to piece together what he was trying to say. She put the lyrics to pieces of their time together, as friends and lovers. She looks up at the front of the alter, seeing Noah standing there. He smiled at her, looking at her so affectionately. She held his eyes until they made it to the end. The pastor stepped forward.

"Who gives this young woman away?" Her dad cleared his throat.

"I do." He kisses her cheek again, holding her hand out for Noah to take. He takes her hand, meeting her eyes again.

"You look gorgeous." 

"I try." He chuckles, squeezing her hand gently. They turn to look at the pastor.

"We're gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony. We get to witness a glorious union of man and wife, a promise to love each other for the rest of their lives. Before we take this any further, is there anyone who does not think these two should be married today? Speak now or forever hold your peace." She thinks about the songs, finally piecing them together. She waits to see if anyone speaks, no one saying anything. When the pastor continues she barely pays attention to his words. She kept thinking back to Bobby standing behind her. Her heart raced, she looked back at Noah. She opens her mouth to talk.

"Wait!" She frowns with confusion. Everyone looks over at Maizie standing in the crowd. "Don't get married. Please." Noah looks at her a minute.

"Maizie..."

"No, I know. We said we'd ignore it and pretend it wasn't there. But it is. And I can't watch you do this when there's still a chance. How often do you ever feel like this?" He raises his eyebrows, looking back at Roben in her wedding dress. "Okay not the best words. But it's different this time, right? Please. Don't get married."

"Oh, I'm gonna fuck this bitch up. Priya, hold my flowers." Lottie hands her flowers to Priya, taking off her earrings. Roben holds her hand out to Lottie.

"Don't." Lottie looks at her, a deep frown appearing.

"What? Why? She just stopped your wedding to profess her love for your fiancé." Roben looks between Noah and Maizie. A smile spreading slowly. She looks over at Bobby, a soft laugh threatening to come out. She looks back at Maizie and Noah, losing her fight and laughing loudly. Noah smiles, starting to laugh himself. Slowly more and more people start to join in, Roben doubled over in laughter. She stands up straight, wiping her eyes.

"Oh my." She catches her breath, clearing her throat. Once everyone calms down they look back at her. She smiles at Noah. "I think we both know that this was the logical choice but it wasn't the right choice. What we had was great and I'll cherish it, but it's not meant to be forever. But that-" She points at Maizie. "That is." He squeezes her hand.

"Thanks, Roben. You really are amazing. I love you."

"I love you too." She walks down the aisle, tossing her bouquet at Maizie. "Alright, I'm not getting married so I'm out! Enjoy that honeymoon, Maizie." She winks at her, running out.

********

Bobby looks around at everyone. He leans over to Lottie.

"What just happened?"

"Uh, when I figure it out I'll let you know." Noah looks over at Bobby.

"Mate, what are you still doing here?" Bobby frowns.

"Um, what?"

"Bobby, Roben and I aren't getting married."

"Okay...so?"

"So stop being an idiot and go get her! I know she was about to say something before Maizie did. She doesn't want me, she wants you. And you want her, so go get her." Bobby smiles, pointing at Noah.

"Would it be weird if I said you're my best mate?" 

"Oi, what about me?" Gary cries. Bobby shakes his head.

"Not now, Gary." Lottie pushes Bobby.

"Go and get her!!" He runs out of the room, going to her room she got ready. Her purse was already gone with her phone. He makes it outside in time to see her drive away. He sighs to himself, the others making it outside. "So??" 

"I didn't make it in time. I just barely missed her." Gary pats his back.

"I'm sorry, mate." 

"It's fine. Wherever she's going I'm gonna find her."

"How do you know where she'll be?"

"I'll figure it out. She's not getting away from me this time." 


End file.
